The truth behind lies
by Pvpfic
Summary: Two month's After a bitter arguement with Eric and a run in with marnie the witch, Pam find's herself haunted by her past. after a failed sucide attempt her world is turned upside down when she recieves some shocking news. READ MORE IF YOU WANNA FIND OUT *WINK WINK* rated M mostly for language and maybe smut in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue**

sometimes I awaken in the early morning, gasping for breath as my mind replays the last few moments before I had killed him. he had always told me I was his special girl...that he loved me, that I was wanted...that I shouldnt tell mother because she wouldnt understand, but I know the truth now. He had lied to me for years, I hadnt been His "special girl" at all I hadnt been special at all, there were...other's and as much as I hated to admit it the knowledge made me jealous, and I hated myself for feeling that way, because I now know what he did to me, it had been so wrong...so so wrong. sometimes my nightmares refused to end, even when I wake.

I walk about (in the early hours of the morning) in a dazed state, visualising it over and over in my head (the night he had actually assulted me). Everyday I false a smile...pretending to everyone...especially Tara (Eric had been gone for two months I had no idea where he was), that im okay, but deep down I know that's not true. I barely feed, or sleep anymore, and when I do I feel...Sick every goddamn unneeded breath I take is A struggle not to choke (im alway's crying), I wonder why I fight it. Why I bother to stay alive, Perhaps even now even after my one hundred and thirty years i don't have the courage to die, Tara hasn't notieced. Yet. that im gaining weight somehow, (I didn't think vampires could, I knew it was probably a resulted curse from my run in with that fucking witch), that I cry out in the night, as she sleeps. she hasn't realised that my nocturnal screams are the only sounds of truth I've uttered for...well the past hundred years.

It doesnt bother me now. I have to much emotion invested in the Past to care much for the present. It is nearly 6 o' clock in the morning, and dawn is approaching fast, I struggle to remain awake attempting to exhaust myself ( despite the bleeds) so that no dreams will come. I havent managed to make it to that point, though I have gone many days without sleep, I wish with all my heart for Eric's return, he makes everything better...makes it all go away and despite the defences we've had recently, his very prescence makes me forget all about the empty gaping void of depression I've been feeling everyday for the past two months.

but I of all people know for I can sense that he does not want to see me, he still hasnt forgiven me for my actions against Sookie a mere two months ago,( but she had been fine), I just...I wanted him back...the old him, before sookie before sylvie before anything when it had just been the two of us, I knew he would never forgive me and I didnt blame him I didnt deserve forgivness I could have taken the love of his life away from him, and for what? for my own selfish needs, because I did not want to be left alone like I always was,well Look how that had worked out for me, yeah I had Tara but she, couldnt and never would replace him.

I can feel myself slipping now, and sleep is taking over the nightmare is coming tonight, it is not about Harry, tonight my dreams take me to some time after his long rotted. Eric my maker looks at me straight in the eyes, and gives me what i now long for (making his threat reality). the pain was burning and fierce, no one could have avoided feeling it. I didnt understand then but now it's too late. i do. now i want another chance to take my punishment as I know I shoud. know I deserve not just for sookie but for uncle harry too. but even in my dreams im not capable. I manage to wake myself with my own screaming, and I am infuriated with myself. finally i allow my own self loathing to take control. I don't need this anymore. it doesnt matter if death is too good for me Im too weak to fight anymore.

I make my way out of the office and into the bar, leaving the dirty wine and pint glasses where they are, I clean the glasses often enough. Tara could do it. I know where the silver knives are kept, and i wonder whether a vampire could bleed to death? (worth a shot) I search behind the bottles finding a small box, then opening it up . reaching carefully for the one I know is sharpest (not that it matters) it' s silver blade glimmering despite the darkness of fangtasia. an intense relief flows through me and im glad the agonising pain known as my immortal life will all be over. no more nightmares. a peaceful days sleep for once. I'll never have to look at the moon again, or the faces of people who think they love and care about me (jess, Tara,).

If they knew who I was inside if they knew of my past what I had been through with harry, my hate for Sookie they would think me disgusting they would hate me. I know it. None of them would ever find out. there is a slight smile on my face as i dig the knife deeply down my arm (as i had done over one hundreed years ago) .

One long line of red liquid flows forth, I break a glass vamp speed then sticking one of the shards into my arm in order to stop it healing up. I smile at the colness of it pouring over my arm. I grip the silver knife tightley in my other hand despite the horrid burns it was dishing out, pausing to admire the beauty of my self inflicted wound before continuing. as I begin to press the knife into the next arm, I feel the knife slip out of my fingers. though I try to hold on, it flies away into the grasp of someone I cant quite make out in the darkness (my subconscious knows it's Tara but my body screams intruder however i am too weak to fight back) I try to yell at them to get my knife back and finish the job, but I cannot even do that, I've lost to much blood and I slip out of consiousness, cursing at my own weakness.

 **want more? let me know and I'll continue there will defo be an update asap i wont quit! xx P.S THIS IS MY FIRST FIC SO PLEASE ALLOW ME IF ITS CRAP LOL XX also based on another fic x i read and loved x  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**Tara pov**

I jolted awake smacking my forehead on the lid of my coffin (hard enough to leave a bruise) when I felt an intense undescriable jab of pain, and an ice cold rush of emotions both physical and emotional hit me leaving me breathless ( even though I didnt need to breath of course a habit I still held onto from my human life) I had never felt anything like it. not in my life as a human or even a vampire, I pushed the lid to my coffin open with next to zero effort, freeing myself from my confined resting place then sitting up.

'shit' I breathed throwing the palm of my hand to my head that had really fucking hurt despite my being a vampire, I looked around puzzled and slightly pissed off with myself,

'Pam?' I called where had she gotten to? I hadn't heard her come to ground,

'Pam?' I called again exitting out of my casket my brown eyes searching around the small space of fangtasia's basement, it was then I felt another wave of Pain, making me feel nauseous. I instantly knew where or rather who it was coming from (Pam) with an obvious and sickening truth. Taking in the realisation that Pam was in trouble I vamped up the stairs (and out of ground) to find her.

 **00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

entering the dark bar of fangtasia as quietly as I could, my eyes shifted to Every corner of the room in search of an intruder, when I was sure there was no real danger they finally settled on Pam, but funily enough she didn't look like Pam at least not like the Pam I knew...No she looked vunerable,lost and almost childlike? Not like the scary vampire bitch who had turned me just a few months ago. I opened my mouth to speak then closed it studying the blonde closely, she stood behind the bar wearing one of Erics? shirt's. and her blonde curls were pinned up in a messy knot that reminded me of sookie, In her hand she held something, something sharp and bright, that resembled silver, and then it hit me with a sickening truth, Pam was hurting her self?...and ON PURPOSE I didnt think I acted in pure instinct, running towards her vamp speed then seizing the knife from her grip, well attempting to.

'WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!' I yelled gripping the object she screamed in protest the blood from her arm spattering all over the place,

'No! No!' she cried I could feel and hear her losing consciousness the physcal and mental exhaustion evident in her. if she had been in her right state she would have put me on my ass easily but no...it didn't take a genius to know she had obviously weakened herself,

'Pam fucking snap out of this whats wrong with you!' I shouted holding her wrists

'i CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!' the blonde screeched 'I can't - and then she passed out her body hitting the floor like a brick

'OH FUCK!' I yelled out loud dropping to my knee's beside her taking her arm in my hand, 'shit common pam' I bleated extaming the deep twelve centremetre wound that was streaked across her ivory skin, why was she not healing? surley she should have been healing, okay Tara think for fucksake. THINK. what would i do in her position?... erm...okay got it. I picked up Pam's limp arms looking for any objects that would stop or slow down the healing process, Nothing.

 _oh shit what do I do?_ I said out loud my mind flying to all the worse case synarios I needed help professional help but Where and how would I get it, my mind then wondered to Sookie, she had told me about a doctor, a vampire doctor. but shit what was the name? WHAT WAS THE FUCKING NAME. Luwich?. No. lupwich. NO!...LUDWIG that was it I'd call her she'd no what to do, I vamped into the office opening every draw in search of Pam's contact book, No luck. FUCK!. Okay what next? her cell phone. I unlocked and opened the desk's draw catching sight of a pink cell phone, retreivincing it and then switching it on...COME ON i chanted over, over breathing an unneeded sigh of relief when I reached the lock screen. by the grace of god it didnt have a pin. my index finger swiped the screen unlocking it before clicking the app for contacts, swiping down the contact's list I found the name 'Lorain ludwig' It had to be her. had to be. selecting the contact I pressed the call buttton, putting the device to my ear and waiting for an answer.

 _ring ring ring ring._

'please' I begged out loud growing more and more anxious as as the phone continued to ring, she picked up on the fifth call tone.

' **Is there a reason you calling so early Pam** **?** ' came the croky sarcastic voice from the other end of the line

'oh my god thank fuck you picked up!' I practically screamed at the phone 'Please we need you at fangtasia it's Pam I think she's tried to hurt her self'

there was no reply for a long second. and i found myself growing impatient. I broke the silence

'please help'

' **i'll be ten minuets'** came the reply from the other end, I felt the air I hadn't realised I had been holding deflate from me like a ballon, and smiled in relief.

' What do I do In the mean time?' I quieried Eyeing Pam's limp form that lay about a kilometre away.

' **get her into the office and for god's sake keep her awake** ' doctor ludwig ordered and with that she hung up the phone, you didnt have to tell me twice, I pelted back into the bar running im sure faster than the average vampire, And scooped up my limp maker, who was now turning a dark blue? was that normal for a vampire. No forefusksake it didn't look or seem normal,

'pam you gotta get up!- I yelled- Pam get up' I cried dragging her to her feet, she fell limp against me, and I gasped realizing she was colder than usual,

'fuck Pam don't you dare die on me...don't you die on me!' I practically screamed dragging her weight into the study. then dumping her as gently as i could onto the couch,

'Pam' i choked pathetically trying to rouse her awake, then feeling a liquid seep down my eyes, i froze for a second before hesitatingly touching it then jumping at the sight, blood, oh my god what was this? was this some sort reaction from the bond I shared with Pam? did it mean pam had died? and then it hit me. crying. i was crying and I han't even realised it.

'Pam honey please you have to wake up' i wailed taking her limp hand desperately in mine. it was then i noticed something opaque and shiny lodged between the blood and flesh in her arm. reaching for it i pulled it out, doing it as slowly as i could.

after a few seconds the wound healed leaving no trace of ever being there...and the door to the study opened...

 **theres chapter 2 in Tara POV the later chapters will be in Pam's and will posted asap enjoy xx**


	3. Chapter 3

its too bright here. but where exactly is here, I know that here is familiar, in a home sense maybe, but where is here? it takes me a while to realize that I am sitting on a very familiar couch, wait I know where I am. comstrock brothel where i used to work. so here is a memory? maybe? I must be dead and in hell (as would be expected)because there is no way my heaven would look like this.

'Pamela?' I hear a voice beside me, a familiar voice, I spin around to see a brunette male sitting beside me, and Gasp at the sight, I would recognize those brown eye's anywhere eyes I hadn't seen in over one hundred years, my brother Conrad, my older brother Conrad, in know im dead for sure now but why was he here in my hell ( probably due to his life that was filled with sin as mine had been) Conrad had died five years before I had ventured out on my own, I remembered the night it had happened so clearly as I remembered all nights that were important to me, I remember hearing drunken shouting and fists at the door, moms piano playing (fur Elise) coming to an abrupt halt only seconds before she had answered the door, Conrad clumsily stumbling into the house which to be honest scared me a lot more, than the fact that he had been drinking again, Him waving at me shouting my name telling me not to be afraid, then collapsing,I remembered it so vividly,of course I had been sat on the stairs watching from the moment he had stumbled into the house right to the moment he had breathed his last breath after he had choked on his vomit of course. he had been twenty five at the time.

'Conrad?' I say breathlessly then without thinking I pull him into a tight embrace 'Conrad oh my god' I say burying my face into his shoulder,

'Shh, It's alright Pamela, it's okay Im not going to hurt you...I just want to talk to you'- he stated stroking my hair, I can't help the tears that flood down my face as I feel so vulnerable more vulnerable than ive ever felt these past few months.

'please... please Conrad...I don't want to talk...I dont want to talk to anyone.. I don't remember why? why are you here i can't please, please- I hate myself for the whining pleading tone my voice has taken. and for the look of Pain that crosses Conrad face.

My older brother pushes me at arms length searching my eye's, with his big chocolate brown ones 'I only want you to talk to me, I want to help you-

'IM BEYOND HELP- i snapped- and You can't help me Conrad...your dead your own stupidity killed you' I suddenly regret letting the words leaving my mouth, and cursed myself running my left hand over my mouth, when An awkward silence fleeted over the room.

'maybe but your not'- He says with a devious smirk wait' what, what the fuck Im not dead but..what?...how? Tara i think in anger.

'I'm...what IM Not dead?' I breath looking around the room, So this place im in right now...is imaginary? Conrad's not real just a figure of my imagination, I feel more tears filling up my eyes once i realize that.

'No...I guess you have to much to live for' - I frown feeling myself suddenly feeling pissed off to much to live for like fucking what?

'too much to live for like what'- I voice my thoughts

'SHOULDN'T SHE BE WAKING UP, WHY ISN'T SHE WAKING UP' comes a voice loud and obnoxious, unclear but defiantly familiar and defiantly female and It shakes my unconscious world knocking a painting that is on top of the fire place off of the wall. it takes me a while to acknowledge that they are talking about me. but NO...no please I don't want to go back to them.

Conrad looks up towards the ceiling a small heartbreaking smile playing on his lips.

'guess your times up Pammy he say's using the affectionate nickname he had come up with for me when I had been eleven.

'No...-I say- No Conrad I don't want to go Back to them' I say shaking my head, I suddenly feel him take hold of both sides of my face,

'Listen to me Pam, were running out of time, you have to leave, right now, you wanted forever and you got It, your living it, don't throw it away now, you have to go now, through that door Pam, that's an order' He orders pointing towards the entrance of comstrock brothel, which is now glowing with a white blinding light,

'SHE SHOULD BE COMING AROUND SOON, IF It'LL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER THEN I GIVE HER SOMETHING TO HER UP' comes another no doubt familiar voice of doctor Loraine Ludwig? and it smashes the mirror on the right corner of the room, I look towards the mirror swallowing thickly .

'IF IT'LL WAKE HER UP THEN I'LL TRY ANYTHING' the voice from earlier says, hammering through my skull and shaking my unconscious world, the voice is clearer now, and I can understand it a little clearer. some vile liquid is being poured down my throat, and I want to choke. but that would be weak. so I swallow it instead. and I instantly feel my consciousness seeping back in.

'Pam...- he says taking hold of both sides of my face- you have to trust me' I shook my head feeling more tears spill over.

'but I don't want to go back to them...I'll never see you again' I say holding his hands where they 'Please'

'Pamela' He orders sternly 'I'll be here' he says wiping away my tears 'please he said again' his voice sounding much more quiet as if he was about to disappear, after a sigh of anguish, I got to my feet walking towards, comstrock brothels entrance, that stood in it's full glory glowing like heavens, gate. taking hold of the handle, I risked a look backwards towards Conrad who was still seated on the couch.

'and Pam?-I rose my eyebrow waiting for him to continue- you might wanna get used to the sickness you've been getting at night because it wont be going away anytime soon' he laughed, the sound came out faded and distant I smiled unsure of what he meant but it soon turned into a frown,

'I dont understand...Wait what do mean?' I quizzed,and just when i thought he wouldnt answer he did.

'You'll find out' he say's in a hushed whisper, and then he vanishes like a ghost or a memory being erased, as does the imaginary? world around me, leaving me alone with the door in the darkness, with my hand still on the handle of the door, squeezing my eyes shut I sigh then open the door, slowly and a bright white light unveiled itself...

 **sorry guys had to repost last chapter but chapter four will be up around seven o'clock today, thank you, enjoy and please review xxx**


	4. Chapter 4

I sat up abruptly coughing and breathing heavily for un-required air, then feeling confusion tug at me. Where was I?. WHERE THE HELL WAS I?...I looked around collecting my bearings then caught sight of my Progeny Tara, and the familiar unforgettable face of doctor Ludwig as my blurry vision finally came into focus. the office. I was in the office on the couch right across from the desk, but how had I gotten here? (oh right Tara must've gotten me in here duh.)

'Pam?' Tara broke my thoughts stepping closer towards me 'Are you alright' she queried I looked around feeling a gross tasting hiccup literally jump up my throat, and instinctively placed my hand against my chest, swallowing the grim bubble of air and recoiling slightly from There almost judgmental? gazes.

'Pam say something' Tara begged vamp speed taking hold of my hand, I hadn't even realized that she had moved from her corner of the room was I really that out of it?. Suddenly I felt a strange sensation in my stomach. it was bubbling making strange noises. I sat up a little more, clutching at my adomin. deducing that it wasn't hunger even though i hadn't fed in a while. so just what was it? Ludwig eyed me cautiously watching my every move,

And my stomach clenched leaving a sickening taste that caught the back of my throat. I fought to swallow it down but it continued to burn my esophagus. A groan escaped my lips, catching Ludwig's attention; making Tara turn around to face her in a panic.

'Pam?...Is something wrong?' Tara asked 'Pam?'

'No it's nothing I rushed...I just don't feel well...what the hell did you say you gave me again' I half blurted, half groaned releasing i was now making little sense and, swallowing back the taste buds that continued to linger in the back of my throat.

'Pam when you say you don't feel well how long for exactly' I hiccuped again shifting position,

'isn't that out of the question I wanna know what the fuck she was thinking what were you thinking Pam? why would you do this? you could have killed yourself-I bit my lip ignoring the question. _i wasn't thinking_ my mind jumped to my defense but it was no good because i hadn't actually said it.

'Please we can talk later Tara just- i cringed scolding myself for the begging again I burped this time sitting forward a little then coughing (gross), I could feel something rising in my stomach, sliding up my throat and into my mouth. the horrible taste multiplied. bitter. chunky liquid rushed to my mouth, saturating my taste buds with the burn of bile.

I sighed shakily gripping my stomach tighter through the fabric of Eric's shirt then with one more involuntary clench of my stomach, copious amounts of bloody vomit spewed from my mouth, splattering all down the shirt. all over the couch, my legs, and my lap, what the fuck I hadn't even fed, well at least not properly in over, three weeks, how was my body projecting this much barf.

I came to a Holt heaving and choking, and flinched suddenly feeling Tara's hand on my back,

'Jesus christ Pam...what's wrong with you' She quizzed rubbing my back. I shook my head my small frame shaking violently and shied away from her touch, Ludwig arose from her crouched position standing to her full height of four foot one.

'Tara If you don't mind I think I'd like to talk with Pam alone' she ordered

'But Pam-

'Now' Doctor Ludwig cut across her, Tara to me for some defense but I looked away unable to maintain her gaze, I just wanted her out of the way for one fucking second, the both of them I didn't want to see anyone or anything, I didn't want to talk to anyone, hell i didn't even want to look at anyone, was a little quiet to much to ask. Tara took my silence as a fuck off (which it was) and huffed getting to her feet,

'Okay well...I'll be out in the bar if you need me' she stated vamping out the door, I practically jumped on hearing it slam behind her, then got up trying to walk away , trying to avoid all the questions I could practically smell hovering on Loraine's lips.

'Sit' she ordered sternly stopping me in my tracks and making me roll my eyes, I spun around gesturing to my vomit covered shirt and legs,

'In case you haven't noticed...I am covered in...puke and i'd like to get changed because ha I reek' I spat putting my hand on the doors handle,

'Pam I need to know how long you've been ill for how long you've been feeling the way you have-she cut across me- I want to know about your symptoms perhaps maybe I can help' after a moments hesitation I huffed, spun around then soggily slunk back to the couch,slunking into it.

'Fire away but make it quick' I said quietly, I could barley bother using sarcasm as it only made me sound pathetic, I curled my hand into a fist resting my cheek against it solemnly.

'Okay Pam so normally I don't come this early in the morning when I get calls from my vampire customers but because it's you-

'cut to it' I cut across her bluntly suddenly feeling nauseous again, shit please not again my body couldn't take anymore, I sat forward again looking eye level towards her.

'lets discuss your symptoms then we can find out whats really going on with you' I sat there thinking for a second before I actually came up with an answer,

'I don't really wanna know whats wrong with me' I admitted, inspecting a broken nail 'infact I don't want to talk about it full stop this is kind of a waste of time for you so if you'd just be on your way-'/

'Pam' she said my name firmly, I huffed looking up from my newly bitten nail,

'Okay okay fine' I bleated soggily shifting my position then grimacing at my vomit covered shirt (well Eric's vomit covered shirt) in disgust,

'Right Pam so lets start with how your feeling? how do you feel' I stared at her narrowing my eyes (Jesus was she a doctor or a therapist? uh whatever if she had some answers then maybe I ought to give her a chance)

'I don't know- I admitted honestly- I just...I've been all over the place'

'Can you try and explain that in further detail?' she pushed making a light growl of frustration boom from my throat,

'I feel...Numb? - I shifted uncomfortably- I don't know how I feel, I Mean one day I'm bouncing off of the walls then another I feel Like...I feel like I want to fucking end it all can vampires be Bipolar?' I asked shifting so that my legs were curled underneath me.

'Okay' She said writing something into her note book, I eyed her suspiciously then she continued- And what are some of the symptoms you've been experiencing and how long for?' (she looked up at me from the seat she had taken at Eric and I's desk _pft_ the cheek of it, But to be honest I didn't really care right now'

'I don't know...I im sick every time I wake up...a lot, even when I don't feed and when I do feed it has to be O negative, the other flavors make me... well they you know you get the point, the o neg normally gives me nausea without vomiting and- I hesitated feeling embarrassed to say the next thing.

Loraine looked up from her notes 'Go on' she urged I sighed needlessly then continued,

'I've been really, really bloated and-

and-

'My boobs have gotten huge like really huge...Like Mariah Carey huge and I don't understand why' she cut me off sharply making me look up vamp speed,

have you gained weight?' she queried her pen ready to take more notes

'What does that have to do with this?' I retorted defensively

'Have you?' I rolled my eyes for a third time nodding my head mutely before muttering

'yes' i admitted

'how much weight?' She quizzed staring me in the eyes

'around 15 to 25 pounds' I said my brows furrowing in curiosity,

'and has that been everywhere or is there a key area where you've gained weight'

'my stomach' i nodded watching as she scribbled down something else

'and how long have you been experiencing your symptoms?'

'I don't know the past two months nearly three' I answered honestly,

'and What about sleep?' she pushed another question making me sigh.

'I don't sleep...well not much' I stated staring right back at her.

'Hmmm okay' she said, I cocked my head in question (well what's wrong with me?)

'So go on- I urged- what's you diagnoses doctor' I quizzed a bitter smirk of angst playing on my face, Loraine remained silent for a long moment scribbling down her conclusion before answering my question.

'Either your severely depressed or- she paused examining her notes, for a second time,

'or?' I endorsed sitting up slightly,

'Or I'd say your pregnant' She stated shocking me into silence...

 **Well guys there's chapter, what is it now? 4 chapter 4 lol ha-ha hope u enjoyed the cliff-hanger, more to come soon and please review xx XD xxx**


	5. Chapter 5

I stared at her shocked into a silence I had only ever felt emotionally. what did she just say to me, no this was absolutely ridiculous, what kind of drug was this woman taking, vampire's could not get...they couldn't reproduce and I hadn't-...well I had..but that had been two months ago with Eric...before any of the Arguments before, my maker had lost his memory, before he had given him self to that faerie gash body and fucking soul, and before he had vanished, but this was not possible, it wasn't! our species could not, have children and I doubt they wanted to. I certainly didn't. If it was possible a fucking pregnancy was the last thing I needed, I didn't want a baby! and no I did not believe this bullshit and I wouldn't unless I had solid proof, Eric had broken my fucking heart and...and this was just me dealing with it in my own fucking way. I wasn't pregnant!. I WASN'T. EVEN IF THE WITCH DID PUT SOME SORT OF HEX ON ME.

'Pr-Pregnant' I stuttered quietly sitting forward in the seat I had taken on the couch, the breath deflated from me like a balloon 'upset maybe but pregnant-that's a ridiculous allegation even for you. Eric left me, I was upset but who wouldn't be, do you expect me sit there with a big fucking grin on my face?'

'well it was a suggestion. but now the more I think about it, and the more I read these notes the more I actually believe that witch did actually do something to you,' She retorted earning herself a massive glare.

'Look- I said getting to my feet- I'm Not...I'm not Pregnant, There is no remote way i can be pregnant I mean, It's just...-I sigh an unneeded sigh*- It's not natural its impossible!' I rambled standing to my feet then beginning to pace,

'No Pam... impossible yes...but that doesn't make it unnatural, Pam it's perfectly natural, and just because-

'OK OK-I cut in- if your completely sure that I could be...then I wanna do a test...Or whatever vampires in my position do and considering I don't pee anymore anyone with common sense would assume you'll need to take a blood sample so, how long will that take because-

'Alright if it'll make make you feel better Pam we'll do you're test, just sit down I won't be a moment' obeying her instruction, I took another seat on the couch looking at the vomit covered shirts that was now dry, while Loraine prepared a needle after a few seconds, she came towards me sharp object in had ready to give me the horrible pin prick,

'Okay your gonna feel a slight pinch, but it'll all be over in a few seconds' I nodded quickly sucking in an unneeded breath, I hated needles I always had, even though I hadn't had a lot in my human life, the sensation of a needle was not foreign and before I knew it, the needle was in my arm. I inhaled a breath, feeling the needle withdraw from me as quickly as it went in, then let out a hushed groan, grimacing at the sight of the needle leaving my arm.

'Okay so now what?' I quizzed my vision still fixed on the needle vile full of my crimson blood.

' the results shouldn't take that long to come in you should have them by the end of tonight...Now I should get going dawn's coming up and...I need to get some rest, never know when the next customer's gonna call do ya?' She stated with a cheeky grin. I didn't smile back just watched her with a blank weary stare.

'and if I am...you know then what does that mean for me?' I quizzed frowning,

'I don't know' Ludwig admitted 'but I'll figure it out I promise. until I do though Goodbye Pam' she stated gathering her equipment, then leaving letting the door slam shut behind her. I let out a breath, then bit my lip, what if she was right...what if I was pregnant, What would I do? how would I explain to Tara...shit how would I tell Eric, after all if I was Pregnant like she said I could be; then the Baby is his because I haven't been with anyone else well anyone else who's male. and that would make things a hole lot worse and complicated ...I shouldn't have gone after that fucking witch. I should have just left it alone, for fucks sake I never did anything right! but it's okay right...I mean I might not be...I mean after all she did say she wasn't sure. well I guess I'd just have to hope she wasn't right or I don't know what I'll do. okay you know what Pam shut up...just forget about it until the results come back in, Alright so first things first in forgetting change your shirt and have a shower...

 **0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

around nineteen hours later

I stood in front of the mirror, trying to do up my corset, I had just gotten out of the shower and now I was getting ready to open up our bar, It had been over Nighteen hours and despite all my showering the bleeds hadn't hesitated to stop, I growled at myself as I struggled with the zip of my corset.

'Forfucksake come on!' I cursed out loud my face contorting in irritation as the zip twisted I screamed in frustration pulling on the zip some more , 'TARA!' I finally yelled clenching my fists in anger, faster than I could blink Tara was behind me leaning her weight against the door frame.

'Pam?' she said in a monotone obviously she was still annoyed at me...who wouldn't be, I knew I had a lot of explaining to do but I didn't know where to start, I mean what would I say, That I completely hated myself, that I prayed for death, that I was haunted by things that had happened to me in the Past, that my one hundred years of not caring had finally caught up with me, That I secretly feared being left on my own, that I could be carrying my makers child which would be a complete betrayal to Tara...fuck I was in deep and I didn't know how to get out of it.

'Zip me up' I ordered quietly moving my hair so it rested on my shoulder, Tara rolled her eyes coming towards me, and then attempting to zip me up, I looked into the mirror catching sight of our reflections, and saw Tara's lips pressed into a thin line as she attempted to zip up the corset, I exhaled an unneeded breath sucking in my stomach, she still remained struggling,

'It won't close' she stuttered pulling on the zip with all her might, I stared at my body in frustration, why did nothing ever go to fucking plan, this corset always fit, it was my favourite and now it wouldn't even zip the fuck up.

'It has to fit- I love this one' I stated firmly 'try again' I hissed sucking my stomach in further, which kind of to be honest failed miserably and felt really uncomfortable Tara pulled on the zip a final time before the thing it's self snapped off,

'Shit' she said out loud I could she her supressing a laugh which to be honest as much as I tried to fight it made me do the same thing, 'Pam we need to talk' Tara stated killing the smile on my face, I sighed heavily holding my corset against my chest and then making to walking to the other side of the room,

'There's nothing to talk about' I said my voice dropping to the same tone Tara had used on me earlier, Tara sighed folding her arms.

'We both know that's not true, Pam Just tell me what's up. Is it me? Have I done something' I don't understand why would try and Do this...Hurt yourself, you were prepared to leave me on my own...I mean I know we haven't always seen Eye to Eye Pam but that tops the record of one of the most selfish thing's you've ever done to me,- I bit my lip almost wincing at her words my back still facing her.-'

'Everything's fine-I lied-Im fine why can't you except that Im happy' I said in a small voice

'really? because Slitting your wrists does not make you look happy' She retorted making me flinch at her harshness Tara exhaled a guilty breath 'look I just want to know what's going on do I not deserve that? she quizzed, I nodded slowley, then turned around to face her.

'your right...you...you deserve to know, but right now I don't know how to tell you...I don't know how to tell anyone so...can we just drop it' I queried Tara knew that it was not a request but a command and nodded her head,

'Now' I said forcing the brightness into my tone 'pass me that dress over there' I demanded gesturing to the black frilly dress that was flung over the couch, Tara obeyed grabbing the dress an then handing it to me, I moved the corset from my body about to throw it down, that was until Tara gripped me arm, I frowned at her staring to wards her hand which was on my arm on a deadbolt lock.

'What?' I quizzed she didn't answer just stared at the wall her big brown eyes as wide as saucers 'What I repeated removing her hand from my arm with irritation

'It's Sookie' She said looking around the room.

'What about her?' I replied not a care in my voice, I didn't give a fuck about Sookie, she could be fucking drained dry and I would not give two fucks, I really wouldn't

'She's in trouble' Tara answered my question biting her lip,

'So how do you know?'

'I gave her my blood' She said it was then I felt anger erupt from my very being

'Excuse me?' I phonated spinning around and coming to stand in front of her for a second time, 'YOU DID WHAT?'

'I gave her my blood?' Tara repeated shaking her head slightly in genuine confusion and then I exploded.

'WHAT WHY YOU KNOW HOW I FUCKING FEEL ABOUT THAT FAERIE CUNT AND YOU GAVE HER YOUR BLOOD, OUR BLOOD...WHAT THE FUCK SHE TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME TARA, SHE FORCED ME TO TURN YOU, TURNED ERIC AGAINST ME!, AND STOLE HIM AWAY FROM ME!' I practically screamed shaking with anger,

'PAM SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND WE GREW UP TOGETHER SHE TOOK ME IN WHEN I HAD NO ONE, SHE'S ONE OF THE NICEST PEOPLE I'VE EVER MET! SHE DIDN'T STEAL ERIC HE CHOSE HER NOT YOU HER! AND YOU OF ALL PEOPLE KNOW THAT HE ALWAYS WANTED SOOKIE FROM THE MOMENT SHE STEPPED FOOT IN THIS VERY BAR YOU NEED TO FIND A WAY TO MOVE ON DEAL WITH THE FACT THAT HE DOESN'T WANT YOU AND HE PROBABLY NEVER WILL, AGAIN EVER, AND NO ONE WANTS YOU BECAUSE YOUR SUCH A FUCKING BITCH!, IVE TRIED TO BE NICE PAM FOR THE SAKE OF MAKING WHATEVER RELATIONSHIP WE HAVE HERE WORK BUT YOU KEEP PUSHING ME AWAY, AND IM SO FUCKING FED UP OF YOUR FUCKING BIPOLAR MOOD SWINGS-I could feel tears building up by the second, and held whatever breath I had left in an attempt to stop the sob that was destined to break free- AND YOU HAVE TO EXCEPT THAT ERIC IS NEVER GONNA COME BACK TO YOU, HE MADE IT CLEAR HOW HE FELT ABOUT YOU A FEW MONTHS AGO SO YOU NEED TO STOP LIVING IN HOPE THAT HE IS ACTUALLY GOING TO FORGIVE YOU!. YOU NEARLY TOOK AWAY THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE, MY BEST FRIEND BECAUSE YOU COULDNT HANDLE THAT FOR ONCE ERIC WAS SERIOUS ABOUT SOMEONE WHO WASN'T YOU AND-

I couldn't take anymore of the emotional abuse Tara was dishing out in my direction and letting out a sound between misery and anger I stormed from the office, and out into the bar

'Okay Pam wait im sorry I didn't mean that' Tara shouted racing after me,

'no Tara you did-I said in a muffled smothered choked sounding voice- and your right I am no good at any of this being a maker crap- I say grabbing my bag- Go to Sookie's see if she's okay but listen to me very carefully when I tell you. that skank is always fucking safe. You said yourself, don't say I didn't warn you when someone you care about gets hurt' I stated and with that I left out of the door slamming it shut behind me, the night air hit me hard drawing an unneeded breath from me, and I let out a sob of angst, as I began walking, I stumbled into the dusty car park finding my black convertible, my eyes burning with fiery tears fumbling for my keys I unlocked the car opening the door and then getting inside, the tears flowed uncontrolled as I started the vehicle, moving the gear stick into drive and then reversing out I began driving, down the dark dusty road of bon temps, the night swallowed the road up like black hole and all I could really make out was the ground ahead as my headlights lit it up. I was blind in my direction, unable to make sense of who or what I might me driving into but I didn't care, nothing mattered anymore, I was shattered I had nothing left I had pushed way everyone I had ever cared about or had everyone who had ever cared about me... I was just about to let out another sob when my mobile phone rang, slowing the car slightly I fished through my bag finding my phone, then pressing the screen for except.

'Did the test results come in' I answered in a quiet voice, knowing full well that it was doctor Ludwig

 **'I got your result's'** she practically echoed, I breathed a sigh half between relief and half between dread.

'Okay' I whispered not knowing what else to say as I continued to drive, I was never really any good on the phone as I was not particularly a people person.

' **Im sorry to say** **You are pregnant Pam which means from what ive read your vampire ablities wont be as quick as normal, you need to take car of yourself- (her voice became a smear of words)-'** I stopped the car feeling more tears leaving my eyes, the witch really had done something, of course I was such a fucking idiot, I had walked away from the witch that night laughing, thinking she had only hit me with a rhyming cuplet but I had been wrong, the words rung in my head making me feel nauseous and without thinking I hung up the phone, throwing it into the back of the car, My brain couldn't quiet register what she had said what she had told me, it...it wouldn't quite sink in, probably shock as well as other emotions, but I knew one thing I could not allow this baby to be born. I had to do something to get rid of it and fast, so starting up the engine, I gunned down the road probably faster than a bullet my foot on the excel orator pushing down to the limit. the car went faster and faster.

 **UH OH what will happen, Pam's pregnant and reckless which is not a good combination for the blonde, hope you guys enjoyed the update and next chapter will be posted asap p.s don't forget to review x**


	6. Chapter 6

the wind blew past my face as I accelorated into the pool of darkness, I didn't care that I was driving well over forty miles per hour or that I had no idea where I was going, I didn't care about protecting the new life that was growing inside me, Hell within five minuets I had stopped caring about everything, Eric, Tara you name it they could all do what they wanted, I was done with them. i looked into the miles per hour monotor on top of the stearing wheel pushing futher down on the accelorator watching the clock like hand inside the monotor shift up and up, as I shot lickerty spit into the night like a bat out of hell. After a long time of driving point blank into the darkness I made a few sharp turns to the left. then to the right travelling towards Nowhere and growing fucking tired. feeling my eyelids weighing down I decided to go faster, in an effort to stop myself slipping into sleep (stupid move even for me) speedballing down the lonley road at 10.30pm at night was not a good Idea, but I just didn't care, it was like my body had gone into auto pilot or something.

That was until I notieced something move out of the corner of my eye. and before I had the chance to hit home on the breaks, the car impacted with a large figure in the road causing my black convertable to swerve off the side of the road impacting with a tree (I let out a fural scream of panic suddenly regretting my actions).

the force took my breath away as my seat belt pulled sharply across my chest, most likely leaving a sickening bruise beneath. as I collided with the stearing wheel and then the world went black...

* * *

 _Nora p.o.v  
_

 _I cried silently_ _laying against my vampire brothers chest, I don't know how I had lasted this long without...without my Eric How could I have betrayed him like this, working for the authority, Turning against godric,. god how had I been so stupid? how had I allowed this to happen. after around five minuets Eric finally spoke._

 _'Jag alster dig Nora I forgive you' he said causing me to look up at him, How could he still love me after everything, I had done? I had gotten godric killed. again. And I would never forgive myself for it._

 _'Even still after everything I've done brother how can you forgive me after everything-' I said trying to compose my voice,_

 _'I love you and thats not gonna change' He repeated stroking my hair ' It wasn't your fault,' He stated drawing another sob from me_

 _'Is that what you said to Pam_ _?' I asked sitting up slightly to look at him , He tilted his head a little frowning slightly, I was suprised he was thrown by my question after the amount of bitching we had actually done about his progeny._

 _'what do you mean?' He quizzed his tone turning edgy and icy at the mention of her name._

 _'I mean that you can forgive me, for getting godric our maker killed again but you can't forgive Pam for nearly and unsuccessfully killing Sookie' I saw him roll his eyes and he practically shifted pushing me off of him, and then sitting on the edge of the bed._

 _'That's alot different' he hissed pulling up his boxers then standing to his full height of six four, I rolled over laying on my back, looking up at the bright lights._

 _'No it's not, Its not different at all,-_

 _'Nora I don't wanna talk about this right now, Not with you' he growled cutting me off and then walking towards the door,_

 _'Well were talking about it , Eric...because I think we both know why you kicked off at Pam like that, you were grieving over godric, you were angry at him for leaving you for leaving us and you had been holding in that anger for so long that when you got an opportunity you took it out on the one other person you care about the most in this world- I said raising my eyebrows- and as much you hate to admit you miss her..._

 _'No...Nora NO...I don't'._ _not after- He sighed- ...she could have killed the love of my life because she was jealous there's a huge difference between being jealous and being brainwashed_'_

 _' Eric will you listen to yourself. because It's Not that big a difference, Pam didn't kill Sookie and she had every good intention of saving your life, you would have done the same for godric...Look- I breathed an unneeded breath before continuing my sentence-I know your pissed but Eric imagen how she's been feeling for the past few months , scared alone?'_

 _'Pam scared?' He snorted cutting new off with slight amusement._

 _'You know what I mean' I giggled turning over to lay on my side ' and you know how much it hurts to be left by your maker. Godric did it to us more than once, were lucky he was such A damn good maker to make up for it don't make the same mistake he did. Because you know she still loves and you will lose her'_

 _and At that he fell silent finally listening to what I had said..._

* * *

 _Pam. p.o.v_

it took a long moment before the light tapping on my cheek filtered through the unconscious state of my mind. amid the other many other unwelcome sensations that I was sure I didn't want to be anymore aware of, the persistent tapping was starting to bug me.

this apparently was exactly what was intended,

I opened my eye's (which were now burning like hell) looking around at all the debris and reiunes, then catching sight of a skinny, brunette male, In a yellow and Black Nirvana shirt with retro glasses He couldn't be more than the age of eighteen (around the age I had been turned) and one other male, around the age of sixty five or seventy Probably a bunch of farmers no doubt, I opened my eye's batting the mans hand away, and groaned feeling putting my hand down and feeling something rough in texture in front of me, my vision met to a branch like object in front of me trapping my where I was.

'get her out of there' the older man ordered, shoving the younger man in my direction,

'what am I going to do I mean look at the size of me Im not exactly rocky am I' he said gesturing towards his under developed weedy frame, his country accent almost a thick as bills.

'she needs our help' The man stated making the teenager turn around in question,

'Yes but how are we going to help her?' he quizzed making the older male roll his eyes.

'I don't know we could call in a favour or something' He stated, moving closer towards my car, who was this man, I didn't know him, I didn't know who he was and I didn't want him touching me, I shook my head and then practically kicked the branch off of me my fangs shooting out in warning towards the two of them, the older man flinched away from me, but the younger man stood where he was eyeing me his mouth slightly agape I breathed unneeded heavy breaths feeling confusion take over me this kid should have been running for the hills why wasn't he?,and why had there been a tree on top of me? then I remembered I had done this. intentionally to get rid of the little monster, I was carrying, Not a good Plan of course as the little chucky had obviously survived. I let out a muffled groan shifting in my seat and then sitting up.

'Don't come near me' I winced opening what was left of the car door and then clumsily climbing out. and nearly tripping up. (so ungraceful)

'Your a vampire?' The boy said in disbelief 'Your an actual real life vampire oh my god oh wow I have so many questions' He said a grin forming on his face, as he stepped closer towards me.

'Rick come here boy' The old man ordered pulling a small pathetic looking gun out of his hoister and then pointing it towards me, I growled in annoyance before folding my arms.

'Grandpa please- the boy began but the old man cut him off.

'Get in the car...we'll be on our way now we don't want no trouble' the man said getting into the car, The kid stood where he was for a second his brown eyes mounting into those of my blue ones before turning around and sulkily stalking back towards the car.

I watched him with icy eyes as he got back in the car not before shouting a goodbye out the window to which his grandpa seized his arm pulling him down and back into his seat from his spot out of the window, I let out a breath retracting my fangs as they drove away, and then swallowing my pride and getting out my cell phone. The werewolf picked up on the first dial tone.

' **Hi Alcide** **, My car it broke down I don't suppose you could come and give me a lift?'** I quizzed feeling embarrassed for even asking, then beginning to bite my nails. Yes I know what your thinking why had I asked Alcide? well I'll explain. Me and Alcide had, had a brief fling about a month back, Now there was no sex involved but we became really. really close friends an actual lot more than close, anyway Alcide had harboured some feelings for me but the feelings had not been mutual, which made things very, what's the word? Awkward but there had been no hard feelings between us so I was hoping he would do this as a friend and I would have to suck his dick (sarcasm). after a moments hesitation I heard him clear his throat then the began speaking.

'yeah sure I'll be twenty minuets do you know where you are' he queried I looked around trying to get a look at my surroundings and then suddenly without a warning burst into tears (fucking hormones)

'no' I said in a sob ' I don't know where I am' I admitted covering my eyes and probably smearing my makeup.

'It's okay Pam...Don't...don't cry I'll find you I promise, It's a good job Im a werewolf huh?' He said I could hear the amusement in his tone and let out a small shaky laugh, I then heard the beeping on the other end signifying that he had hung up, after half a second I did the same picking up my bag from the floor of the car and then putting it over my shoulder. Maybe I should have given Alcide a chance he seemed like a pretty alright guy but even if I wanted to get with him now I couldn't because there was one massive problem, I was pregnant with someone else's mistake.

 **What did you think? hope you liked it cos im pretty proud of it, anyway please review and submit ideas of what you'd like to see in next chapter, anyway have a nice day and next chapter is COMING SOON! XX**


	7. Chapter 7

I waited in the darkness clutching my black cardigan against my body for what seemed like ages before I saw the Head lights of a green truck car or whatever you called it approaching down the dark wayward road, It could have been anyones truck but I knew that specific anywhere, Alcide. I stalked towards the big vehicle opening the door and then getting inside.

'Thanks for coming to get me' I said not even bothering to buckle my seat belt, in the hopes that if we crashed then I'd shoot through that wind shield faster than a bullet.

'No thank you's you know I'd do anything for you Pam your a close friend' The werewolf said making me crease, Oh shit he really did care about me, and I was stupid for stopping our friendship so abruptly,I sunk further and further into my seat leaning my head against my fist.

'So your car doesn't look so good huh?' he said making me automatically look towards my car as we drove past it shit why'd i have to crash the convertable I liked that one and holy shit it was a mess, I swallowed thickly ignoring him and inspecting a nail

'What happened to It?' he queried Making me jump at his unexpected continuation I sat up slightly keeping my eye's fixed on my finger nails before answering him.

'I crashed it' I admitted in a matter of fact sort of way, then seeing him raise is eyebrows but despite his shock he kept his vision focused on the road ahead,

'You what?' He bleated in disbelief.

'I crashed it' I repeated biting my nail clean off and then folding my arms He remained silent for a second before he actually replied.

'Yes I can see that but why?' He interrogated causing me to roll my eyes Jesus didn't this guy ever quit with the questions,

'I dunno fancied little a wild ride' I stated sacracastically then opening my bag and fishing through it to find my pink iPhone, my eyes widened when I realized it wasn't in there, forfucksake it must've flown from the car when I had collided with the tree. I grit my teeth in fustation throwing the bag down before I heard Alcide clear his throat to speak again. Well rather make a vague input.

'Oh' he mused making me focus on him once again.

'Oh?' I cocked my head to the side this time actually looking at him , and raising my eyebrows

'No its just I never had you down as a-

' a what ?

' never mind he said flirtatiously which made smirk I knew exactly what he meant, which only made my smug grin grow wider...

* * *

The rest of the journey went in silence until we pulled up into the familiar car park of fangtasia, alcide killed the engine and then waited for...I didn't know what. I set to unbuckling my seatbelt but was stopped by his hand . I looked up my eyes closing into slits of annoyance.

'Pam?' He deadpanned in question .

'yeah' I asked biting my lip and then looking around uncomfortably, my blue eyes then focused on his brown ones, studying every inch of his face. He took a moment as if he were struggling to think of a moderate answer for his abrupt action.

'eric doesn't deserve you' he said his eyes searching over my frame 'I've been trying to figure it out and now I just have, Pam you need to forget about him his made it clear how he feels ' he said causing me to frown, ' and I want you to know that I'm here for you even if that asshole isnt' he said if I were human I would have blushed and involentarly I found my hand against his cheek.

'Your a sweet sweet guy alcide but I can handle myself' I said turning around and then opening the trucks door about to exit not before turning around and saying,

'Thanks for the ride' I said slipping out of the car and before I knew it he had driven off probably in a strop, I hated leaving things like this with him, he was the only friend I had beside from jessica and tara (In a buisness like kind of way), I sighed cursing at myself; pulled my slipping bag back up my shoulder blade. and then stalked towards fangtasia's entrance, oh shit Tara would probably be in there and we were on no level on the best of terms. I decided that I would not forgive Tara tonight. she had been a complete bitch and she did not deserve one fucking bit of my forgiveness not at all, but then again I didnt know whether, that was my hormones talking or just me, maybe a miture of both.

I Unlocked and opened Fangtasia's entrance, stepping inside and then flicking the lights on, stripping out of my cardigan stuffing it inside of, my gucci purse and then dumped the hole lot onto what little space there was on the bar top I couldnt help my eyes staring over the mess I had made earlier Tara obviously had not cleaned the dishes something I had delieberatly left for her to do. huffing I picked up a glass and began inspecting it, That is until I felt something familar a pull I had only ever felt with my maker or Tara, I looked into one of the glasses catching sight of a blonde male wearing a black vest top a leather jacket, black jeans and combat boots, sat in the the throne on top of the stage and I knew instantly that it was eric but a part of me was afraid to turn around in the fear that, I was just hallucinating imagening something that wasn't there my eyes widened and I blinked a few times expecting the image to disapear. It didnt.

'Eric?' I quizzed out loud heisitating to turn around It was then a brunette male stepped out from the shadows a man I recognised as Bill Compton, my vision shifted to him and I suddenly felt very very intimidated and vunerable infact the hole situation made me uncomfortable and I just felt...sick...sick to my stomach, i cleared my throat then set to speaking.

'am i dreaming?' i quizzed towards the reflection earning myself a straight answer from bill,

'no pam your not dreaming' Bill said in a mixture of boredom and bemusment.

I spun around then. breathing out a sigh of relief when i realised he was still, here and he hadnt been just a figure of my imagenation. the entrance suddenly shot open but I didnt bother to turn around for I could sense it was tara all I cared about right now was making things right with Eric, even if I had said I was done with him earlier.

'okay Pam Im so sorry about earlier I was Angry I- Tara cut herself off taking in the sight of My maker and the little rat boy scout saint 'Eric?...Bill?' She quizzed good so I wasnt imagening them They were really there. oh thank god.

'what's she doing here?' Eric asked in a cold harsh...pissed monotoned voice, which to be honest didn't suprise me I knew he would be Angry but I didnt care...he was here and that was all that mattered.

'She- I tried struggling to find my words under my nearves- She's mine I- I made her vampire while you were gone congratulations your a grandmaker' I burst out trying to break the awakward ice there was no telling what Eric was feeling because he had just as in right now completely blocked off our bond and his eyes held not an inch of emotion, I suddenly found myself feeling very...anxious under his gaze.

'You dont have to worry about before- I said picking a nail nervously, - let's just leave the bad water under the bridge, let Bigons be Bigons you know? Bi girls be bi girls' I said trying for humor,(it flopped). sighing I compulsivly placed my hands on my hips, not really knowing what else to say to him, turns out there was no need for my input at all because This time Eric spoke Directly to Bill and Tara.

'Leave us' ordered His eye's still fixed on mine, I found myself refusing to look away despite the daunting feeling in my gut telling me I should, Tara and Bill obeyed Eric's command without question leaving for the office well that was A kind of lie Tara heisitated but left when I gave her a reasuring nod, which now left the two of us alone.

'Eric I-Im so glad your back- I began- Im so sorry about- He cut me off, as sharp as a knife,

'I didnt come to make a mends with you' He admitted harshly the impact from his words was a hole lot worse than the impact i had faced in the car and it caused my heart to break into one fucking billion tiny fragments of agony and hurt and anything else that could describe how I was not feeling, I bit my bottom lip in an effort to contain the tears and emotion and felt the black hole of depression that swirled in my chest to reopen, but this time even bigger even more intense.

'what-oh ...ok then what did you come for- I interogatted in a small voice, I felt as if my airways were restricted and I could barley talk, without feeling tears rushing to my eyes.

' i came to find out- He said standing to his full height of six four before continuing- where you've been hiding russell ediginton' my head shot up and I felt my emotions mix into a sickly pool of confusion.

'What?!' I bleated out my mouth dropping open 'how would i know where russell Is why would I help that fucking scum bag git twat after everything he did to you...did to us' I pratically screamed at him my british accent coming to a head like it always did when I was upset this I smashed the glass I hadnt realised i'd still been holding in my hand in a flare of anger.

'DON'T FUCKING LIE TO ME PAMELA' he roared making my jump, my form imediatly began shaking and I grit my teeth together letting a fang nip my bottom gum in an effort to stop my clumsy juddering.

'Im not' I stammered for once defending myself against his absured accusation, ' I wouldn't do that to you Eric...I wouldn't I swear' I urged him my tone desperate desperate for him to believe me, Before I could speak another word I found myself pinned against the bar by my throat in an almost crushing hold I choked and struggled for air, and this time my emotions failed me. I felt heated crimson tears of fear and fury escape from the whites of my eyes then slipping down both sides of my face, im sure staining my porcilean skin.

'WHERE'S RUSSELL' he repeated his question snarling into my face, like a monster from a horror movie, I looked up at him terrifyed feeling his grip on my throat tighten,

'I don't know' I yelled my voice cracking on the last part, my hands desperatly trying to pry, his bigger hands from their death lock around my neck,

'STOP FUCKING LYING!' he shouted, this time baring his razor sharp fangs, that were at least five centimetres bigger than mine, that alone put the fear of god in me.

'Im not lying I swear' this time I sobbed sounding so pathetic it made me sick 'What's happened to you...your not normally like this', this time he released his clutch on my throat turning his back on me, and leaving me gasping for air I took a long moment to compose myself and when I had I slipped off of the bar top.

'I trust No one neither should you' Eric stated coldly, his back still facing me. Probably to much of a chicken to turn around and face the mess he had turned me into. I felt the unneeded breath hitch in my throat, and clenched my fists struggling against my emotions.

'Well we finally agree on something- I said trying with all my efforts to steady my voice- because I don't trust you Eric, I hate you. everyone kept asking why I bothered waiting for you...hoping that you'd come back and I would tell them that i was not willing to give up on you just because of some stupid fight, But you know what, they were right, why did I bother with You...Infact why do I even give a shit about what you do anymore...Ive walked this fucking Earth with You for over one hundred years I've been your partner for over one hundred years, and you...you come here get all up in my shit and then you try to intimidate me' I said I was faced with silence which only hightend my annoyance And without thinking the last thing I ever expected myself to say left my lips.

'Release me' I demanded and this time he spun around looking at me as if I had slapped him, hell I wish I had- IF YOU CAN'T TRUST ME MORE THAN BOY SCOUT FUCKING BILL COMPTON THEN WHATS THE FUCKING POINT IN KEEPING ME AROUND?!...JUST SAY THE FUCKING WORDS ERIC...AND THEN WERE DONE HERE...' I screamed at him shocking myself, It was decided I would most defently not keep this baby now...I couldnt what kind of life would it have with us as it's parents like Eric would stick around anyway he would leave me to raise the little demon alone and when the time came, he or she would have questions about its father questions I couldn't even begin to answer, I swallowed hard practically visualizing it in my head, I had to somehow terminate this pregnancy and tonight. My maker continued to stare at me in stunned silence until this time I couldn't take it, II stalked away down the halls way then braced myself against the wall suddenly feeling all the adreniline drain from me and felt all my feelings kick start up again like a car engine, only this time amongst over things, I felt extreme nausea, 'Oh god' I said temporily forgetting that Eric was still stood in the bar less than a metre away from me. when I felt my stomach, going again I raced towards the ladies bathroom and within seconds I was before the toilet bringing up im sure a majorty of my gut's, I then shot up vamp speed locking the door to the ladies room, and then slid down it bringing it up to my legs up to my chest. and this time for the first time that night...despite my tears from earlier I really properly cried...

 **hope you enjoyed this chapter please review ideas what u would like to see in the next chapter and also nxt chap will be updated asap x**


	8. Chapter 8

I startled awake instantly when I began dreaming and heard a glass smash from out in the bar, my vision instantly focused on the white tiles of the ladies restroom , gross had I almost fallen asleep on the floor of the ladies room? well cried myself to sleep rather, I yawned tiredly heaving myself, up, i stumbled to my feet then opened the door exiting out of the restroom then stalked down the hallway and out into the bar, Red and Purple strobe lights shot around the Bar making the perfect playground for pills, blood, sex and boos (which it was) I looked around my eyes searching for Eric Eric and bill were Eric must have been blocking off our bond because I couldn't feel him at all which meant I had no idea where he was...Not that I cared though...much; and Tara was, I didn't know that either, I heard another glass smash and looked over to the right hand corner, then spotted our bar maid and assistant ginger.

'Oh I'm sorry'the bar maid rushed to explain herself 'I -I just didn't expect you to be out I mean you were in there for a long time and Eric he ...he got real worried about ya' she began but I cut her off.

'His got no right to be worried since when did he start giving a shit about me' I hissed out more to myself than Ginger rounding the bar to grab a bottle of AB positive I was starving yet I Felt nauseous at the Same time god I had to ring Lorain but first I had to find my progeny, I knew she was here I could feel her presence through the bond we shared. But I had to pretend to feed...even if I was hungry I didn't want to eat , I didn't want the Mistake that grew inside me to grow anymore and I couldn't have people knowing I wasn't feeding because if they did that would cause problems and they would find out how I really felt they would find out what I was hiding so I had to keep up appearances.

'Where's Tara?' I quizzed gripping the bottle of blood so hard I was surprised it didn't smash, I looked down at the blood sniffed the chemicals and screwed my face up in disgust.

'She...she went to ground ginger said eyeing the bottled blood I held in my hand, I instantly moved towards the basement slamming the ab positive blood I had just opened onto the bar top,

'Should I open up?' Ginger called after me. ignoring her question I disappeared to ground slamming the door shut behind me...

* * *

i looked around ground it was the same dark mildly lighted shithole it normally was, dusty full of spiders almost a perfect Dracula stereo type. My thoughts were broken when shallow breathing caught my ears, Ok obviously Tara , still a habit she hadn't shaken from her human life, when I had first turned Tara I found it insanely annoying but as time went on I grew to secretly love the habit as it was just one of her many cute qualities. Walking over to the black coffin on the left, I pulled on the golden handle lifting the black sheers lid. It opened with a hiss revealing the beautiful sleeping ebony known as Tara, she lay on her side her head smothered into the coffins side material, still wearing the red fangtasia T-shirt I had insisted on her wearing.

' _How could you do this to me Sookie?_ ' Tara muttered through her sleepy state I rolled my eyes at the mention of that faerie bitches name great so Eric was not the only one that dreamt of that disgusting sparkling bitch, squinting my eyes i genitally moved a strand of Tara's hair from her face and then stared down towards the sleeping beauty studying her. She would hate me if she ever found out about Eric and I even if she hadn't been my progeny at the time and the fact that I now had a problem that wouldn't go away on its own now made things soo much worse, this would destroy her i knew that feeling all to well , i had felt it with Eric many times In the past when his past lovers would mysteriously turn up. I swallowed thickly my thoughts shattering to a hault when I heard, footsteps approaching from behind me, I bit my lip knowing full well that it was Eric and kept my back to him as he had done me earlier I couldn't face him not after Earlier, I couldn't bare it I couldn't look at him I gripped the handle to Tara's coffin and squeezed it nervously.

'Pam?' I heard my makers deep masculine voice, tensing my shoulders I swallowed my pride and stubborness then shut the lid to Tara's coffin then turned around to stare at him. there was a silence for a few seconds but I broke it with a question.

'Where's bill ?' I quizzed resting my aching back against the wall making an effort to keep our gazes locked.

'He had an errand' Eric revealed matching my flat tone,

'Hm' I mussed and nodded looking down at my bare feet the tension between us was incredible, I didn't know what to say to him. and this just made the situation a lot more awkward.

'Sit' he ordered his vision shifting down towards the bottom stair I chewed my lip heisitating before obeying his order, I sat down on the cold rocky floor, again staring down at my pink toe nails, I heard Eric move behind me and soon felt his presence beside me , It took a moment for the conversation to get going but it soon did.

'We can't fall ourselves, searching for Russell edgington is a sucide mission' he deadpanned out, I turned my head to the side raising my chin slightly at the mention of that skeezes name.

'But when Bill and I do get him we will be facing a treesan charge- at that my head snapped towards him-

'I thought you had friends in the authority' I said looking him dead in the eye.

'a friend-he corrected me- and she can't help me anymore' he stated, sure "she" another fuck buddy no doubt. It was a known fact that Eric did not do well with female friends I was a prime example of that. I swallowed hard feeling unexpected jealousy surge through my frame but as quickly as that emotion came it disappeared.

'Either Russell will have our heads or the authority will' he stated at that I felt fear wisp through my form temporily restricting my air ways, i may not have been seeing eye to eye with Eric but make no mistake that I wanted him dead the thought of losing him made me feel sick to my stomach.

'And there is no other option-

I'll go with you I rushed cutting across him - we've defeated Russell before we can put up a fight against the authority' I rushed desperately my voice crumbling with emotion.

' the end may come soon and when it does i don't want you to be there' he stated, I shook my head then stood to my feet folding my arms, in rebellion.

'I don't wanna hear this...okay I want to be there have a right to be there don't you think you owe me that right,' I said figuring uncomfortably .

'No' he said firmly ' what you said in anger-I locked my jaw stubbornly- you were right I have to release you' I felt my jaw drop open and took a step backwards shaking my head again in disbelief

' and its not because I don't trust you, or because I don't care its because your my only progeny my one legacy I need you to live when I'm gone' i didn't like that in fact i hated it...the aspect of losing Eric suddenly became very real and it was scary...it scared me...i couldn't lose him i didn't want to. I couldn't begin to imagen a world without him in it. In that moment i forgot about everything our arguments his threats everything and acted on pure emotion .in the blink of an eye I was in front of him my hands cupping either side of his face,

'There not going to kill you if anything there gonna kill that slimmy trash bag Russell leave him to them Eric...please I am begging you don't do this to me again...because this will reuine us I won't... I can't live without you Eric I've tried and it destroyed me...you can't leave me now Eric...please If you leave me I will never forgive you ' I stuttered my words breaking into sobs he gripped my wrists genitally holding them where they were.

'Pam I'm doing this for you... You are a maker and you have a loyalty to your progeny-

'I have a loyalty to you' I interrupted him then letting out a breathy unneeded sigh-is this because of sookie? Because I'm sorry about that I'm so sorry- I said in a small voice

'No how could you even think that Pam I be already forgiven you for that.

'Then why are you doing this to me ?' I say

'Because i care about you Pam, I care about the effects my actions will have on you' Eric stated I pressed my lips together. he didn't love me, cared for me sure but...so a few months ago had been a causal fuck then!...and this monster that grew inside me was just a reminder of that. squeezed my eyes shut realizing that maybe this was for the best. as much as I hated to admit it.

'OK...ok' I bleated 'okay-i nodded- if that's what you want I get it I understand...I accept' I gritted out despite what I had said early and had meant in the heat of the moment . I had never dreamed that he would actually do it through. actually separate us forever.

"Do it" I said my hands balling into fists as I tried to compose myself a century together and I Still couldn't recall him never being able to meet my eyes until now that is , I was normally the one to look away, he stood to his full height of six four walking forward to tower over me.

I wanted to scream, throw myself at him beat my fists against his chest, throw a tantrum like he hasn't seen in a mileum of walking this earth. But Instead I stand there frozen my small frame shaking like a leaf in a summer breeze waiting for the words I never truly wanted him to say. Words I had never dreamt he'd say.

'Pamela he says taking an unneeded breath before gritting out the words. 'I renounce the ties of our blood...your maker I release you'

An undescribable feeling tore through my body like an elastic band being spread to thin and then...Snap gone nothing broken in half easier than shattering a glass. And I had never ever felt so alone.

I let out a choked cry and then launched myself into Eric's arms, immediately engulfed in his familiar embrace, my small frame shaking with painful sobs as my face presses against the hard muscle of his shoulder, his hand wraps around the base of my neck securing me against him as he buries his face into my me hair tightly .I ran my hands everywhere I could reach, his arms his shoulders the hand wrapped securely within my hair. Desperate to feel him as I could no longer feel him within me. It was then I realized I had made a mistake in asking him to release me because it was not want I had wanted , it really wasn't.

When he speaks again, his voice is an accented whisper thick with emotion.

'You are my child...just as I was the child of godric. You were born into greatness' he pulls away from me. Gripping my face tightly in both hands (as I had done to him earlier,) our foreheads almost touching as he looks my eyes his own eyes rimmed with bloody tears, I continue to sob the tears painful .

"Our blood with thrieve...do you understand" I forced myself to nod tewars pouring from my eyes as he strokes my cheek with his thumbs, he leans in and kisses me lightly on the forehead pulling back to look at my face his expression is incomprehensible as he brushes away the tears from under my eyes with the pad of his thumb, before slowly leaning in again giving me every opportunity to stop him. Before he softly kisses my lips.

I instantly melted into him, my arms winding around his neck desperately, pulling him closer towards me, not wanting let go of him for a second because i know that if I let go I'll never see him again, I whimpered into the kiss pulling him closer fisting the lapels of his leather jacket.

'Eric we have to leave now' bills voice rang from the top of the stairs Eric broke the kiss which left me feeling disconnected as i gasped for air. what was going on here ...It was then I realized that the kiss was that of a kiss goodbye.

'Goodbye Pam' Eric whispered quietly I felt more hot tears leave my eyes and grabbed his hand holding it as tightly as I could,

'Please dont leave me again please don't' i cried pressing my lips into a firm line

'Im sorry Pam, Im so sorry' he stated freeing himself from my grip, and then in the blink of an eye he had left.

I breathed heavily looking around ground my vision turning dark red with blood, my body suddenly felt like it couldn't hold itself up anymore and I collapsed to the ground, drawing in fast unsteady breaths, I couldn't feel him, He had left me Again this time was different, and I COULDN'T FEEL HIM!, I COULDN'T FEEL HIM! and I hated it I didn't think within seconds I had flung the door to ground open, and vamp speed entered the Bar.

'Eric?!' I bleated looking around the bar 'Eric!'

'Pam..Pam whats going on- I heard Gingers voice, within seconds she was in front of me, hm pretty fast for a human,

'His left me...He left again and this time It's my fault- I wailed running both shaky hands through my hair,

'Its okay Pam we'll...we'll figure this out...I promise, but later...Because there's someone here to see you- she said slowing me down...I stopped mid sob wiping my eyes with full effort to stop the tears flowing.

'What?' I whimpered looking over her shoulder towards the open exit of fangtasia. the door swung in the wind.

'Alcide Herveaux is in the office...he said its important' My head snapped back towards her and I bit my why would alcide come after our little tiff what else was there to talk about.

'WHAT!...I mean did he say why he came... I asked quietly my airways still closed up from my extreme sobbing,

'Nohe just said it's important ' At that I looked towards the door chewed my lip in frustration and then vamp speed shot into the office. where I found Alcide with a boquet of pink lillies (my favorite).

'Pam we need to talk' he voiced

 **hope you enjoyed based this chap on one of my favorite fics hope she doesnt mind oh and dont foget to review and follow xx chapter 9 will be posted soon xx p.s remember people IDEAS, IDEAS, IDEAS**


	9. Chapter 9

'we need to talk' Alcide deadpanned out I risked a look behind me briefly in the hopes that Eric would walk back through the door, it didn't happen, clenching my fists I turned my attention back to Alcide, stared towards the bouquet he held in his right hand then back to his face in confusion,

'Alcide?-I said without any enthusiasm in my voice- what...what are you doing here' I said sniffling and then wiping another tear that slipped free, There was a small silence as the werewolf scrambled to for something to say, I sighed seeing his mental debate and felt slight impatience flare to life,

'Alcide...could you just spit it out...because- I began but he cut me off

'Pam D'you like me' the werewolf asked without any warning. i chewed the back of my gum wiped a the corners of my eyes and then groaned inwardly. was it not supposed to be girls who spoke about feelings. and relationships? or had sookie set a trend to everyone in Shreveport. why did he have to turn up now why couldn't he just leave me to wallow in self blame and grief for my maker, why could I not just get on with my evening without all this introspective crap?.

'Of course I like you' I replied dryly then cleared my tight throat.

'then why've you never tried to do more than kiss me?' He asked unable to look into my eyes. Jesus who was the female here me or him. what had brought this on, why had he picked today of all days. I hadn't kissed him in months why had he started asking questions now.

his head bent and he was obviously embarrassed. I shut the door behind me temporarily forgetting about the situation that had just occurred. what was I supposed to say to that?

'I've just had a lot on my mind recently' I sighed needlessly 'You know running this bar...without Eric- I swallowed hard at hearing myself mention his name- raising Tara properly...his cleared me out...taking all our money so now I'm practically left with nothing I think he did it to get back at me for sookie and I...Im just tired of fighting it's...it's just all so draining...things aren't going my way at the moment'

'Then let me help Pam don't push me away' Alcide pleaded

'No I told you a month ago-

it's only money Pam' His left hand sprung from one side of his body to the other as he fished through his pocket retrieving his woallet. my eyes widened horrifyed at what he thought he was doing as I watched him put the boquet onto the desk, and save a check book from his wallet I shook my head folding my arms stubornly for a second time that night. he walked over towards me. coming closer so we were literally a metre apart.

'How much d'you need' he was signing the check before even filling the amount.

'Im not taking your money I told him quietly,

'Pam I want to do this, I want to help you' said alcide but i hardly heard him, i rolled my eye's then turned round vamp speed turning the doors handle and then opening the door,

'I think you'd better go' I said

'Pam...' alcide stepped closer placing a warm hand against my face he looked down at me like he really did like me or something.( which confused me because we had agreed to be just friends...but then again look how that had worked out for Eric and I (spoiler Alert...Not good) like I was something special in his life. even after our short time of being together. Alcide bent his head down and kissed me. I closed my eyes - and found myself kissing him just as passionately as he was kissing me. it been a while ( two months) since anyone had wanted me like that. i wrapped my arms round his neck forgetting about what had happened less than ten mineuts ago and kissed him like this moment was the last thing.

and then I opened my eyes Alcide was still kissing me. his eyes still shut but at the sight of him my my soul froze. I pulled away staring up at him.

'What's the matter' He asked

'Nothing' I mumbled 'you really have to leave'

'Pam your scared and your hurting about something (bingo)...I I can smell it wont you tell me what it is?'

'what are you talking about?'

'I think your afraid to get close to anyone. because your scared they'll hurt you like Eric did. im not gonna let anyone hurt you again Pam, Im not gonna hurt you Pam I promise I just want a chance. I just want to make you happy and sometimes...Sometimes I can't even read you because you look at me like-

'like what what?' i prompted wen he trailed off.

'like you see someone else when you look at me (he got that right...every man i looked at now that wasn't Eric turned into my uncle...I couldnt get him out of my head I couldn't and when Eric had come back ,when he had came to me in the basement after our disagreement...I had thought he had come to tell me he was sorry...that everything would be alright he always made it better. I was wrong. 'like your looking through me'

the strangest feeling tingled right through me like my last remaining blood was shievering or something. had I really let my guard down that much within my month of spending time with Alcide?

'You know about my wife dying...after...' he trailed off 'won't you tell me who you've lost it was someone you cared about wasn't it...someone before Eric?' I opened my mouth to speak but the words wouldnt come out.

'I loved debbie...more than my life probably as much as you love Eric' he continued 'it's not something you get over quickly...and I know that...i can sense that you've been carrying this with you for a long time'.

'why are you telling me this?' the words came out in a whisper quiet and racked with pain.

'Have you lost someone?'

'My brother...My brother died he...- i trailed off

' Alcide nodded looking down at me. he was so understanding and that was the worst of it. because i knew he did understand. totally. me almost as much as Eric did. he was like the calm sane part of me.

'Im so sorry Pam'

I couldnt answer

'you look so alone sometimes...so hurt even when things are okay with that asshole'

and now the remaining blood was howling around my body . racing faster and hotter. i wanted him to stop. just stop talking stop understanding me. my throat was hurting my eyes were hurting I felt nauseous.

stop talking...stop understanding...stop it alcide...STOP STOP STOP

'Pam' alcide said his deep masculine voice full or uncertainty i stared at him not daring to blink. his hand crept to the back of my neck slipping under my blonde curls his touch was soft...and so so warm.

'You and I are more alike than you think' i had to stop him talking. had to so I kissed him. with what felt like a fist in my chest squeezing relentlessly at my heart. every fibre in body telling me to stop as this was an ultimate betrayl to Eric. to the monster that grew inside me ( not like I cared')

I felt Alcides arms wind around my waist as he kissed me back with the same kind of lonely desperation. And for the first time in our on and off relationship he was right . I was lonley. I had been lonley ever since that gash in a sundress had walked into our bar that night four years ago- since she had stolen eric away and shattered our relationship in one billion tiny pieces. what was it about me that made it so hard for me to get close to anyone that wasn't Eric? what was it about me that made it impossible to make friends and progenies and keep them. What was it about me that had me wanting to abort an Innocent little baby? What was it about me that had me kissing a werewolf and no longer wanting to pull away and wipe my mouth (because thats how it had been in the beggining) what was it about me that had me falling for someone I should despise? WHAT WAS IT?

I felt alcides hands slip from my waste to up under my top. and he pulled me close. his hand moving straight to my breast. I could hear Alicdes blood roaring racing. pumping and he was breathless. I was more turned on than I had ever been in my life ( probably due to the hormones) I wanted to do more than have sex. I wanted him to make love to me. something I had done with Eric plenty of times but was a stranger to doing it with somebody who wasn't him, Especially a male and a werewolf. I wanted to drown in him and him in me.

But then I opened my eyes...I straightened up and forced myself to concentrate on his smell that reminded me he was in fact a werewolf. Take it in. Sink into It. But i couldn't smell his dog like scent anymore. just his eyes. warm and rich brown smiling at me with understanding. with want. with...love.

with love I was loved...I was wanted for once.

The werewolf smiled at me with total love trust and devotion. It was to much. I was dying in it. without thinking I vamp speed ripped his shirt off we was kissed alot more until we were both lying on the floor the room a mess of clothes...

two hours later there was a knock the office door that had us both up in a matter of seconds.

'did that really just happen?' Alcide asked I shushed him pulling my dress back on over my head.

'Yeah It really happened' I said trying to hide the guilt in my voice...

* * *

Sookie pov

i got out of my shitty yellow car and started towards the building, in search off Eric...he had came by my house just two hours ago and saved my life but what was new, but he had sounded...weird like he was saying something...something that wasn't supposed to be obvious. Anyway I had to find him because now I was worried who knew what he meant. Okay sookie stop be possitive Eric's fine...his always fine...chill out.

I opened the door to fangtasia and was immediently greeted by the sight of bodies jumpinh to the rave, and pounding music, my eyes searched the area for Eric or his bitch progeny Pam who pretended to be a lesbian but really wasnt fooling anyone, everyone could tell she was still hung up on Eric. but he was to busy chasing me around to notiece. not that I was complaining though.

pushing Past the crowd of human and vampire I slunked towards the office door, and then gave it a knock. there was no answer so i turned away, that was until I heard movement from behind the door and put my ear against it. where I picked up muffled speech.

'Pam?!' I bellowed over the music, The muffled speech became quiet and I called her name a second time wait hold up what if she was in there with Eric...O hell no that was not happening not on my watch he was...I loved...fuck I didnt know but this sure as hell was not happening, I grabbed the handle and ripped the door open with more force than intended, and what I saw before me...shocked me beyond belief...

 **hope you guys liked this chapter nxt chapter will be posted as soon as possible pleasee review im craving them and leave ideas**


	10. Chapter 10

Sookie

The sight before me shocked me beyond belief, and I stood in the doorway in a stunned silence taking in the sight in front of me, Pam and alcide? Since when...I swallowed hard feeling the one emotion I had never expected myself to feel on alcide's behalf...Jealousy even If we had been a fling once I had still never felt like this before. Pam had just about gotten her dress back over her head and Alcide's shirt was on but not done up, obviously because Pam had broken the buttons (gross). The pair of them stared at me like a dear caught in headlights and I felt anger flare to life. This was Pam getting her own back on me because I had made Eric leave her. But that's only because she had tried to kill me and plus She had wanted me dead from day one anyway.

'Alcide?' I quizzed taking a step into the office, the werewolf looked around and smiled slightly at Pam who nudged his arm in an effort to get him to talk. Alcide looked towards Pam again and smirked Pam smiled back but quickly covered it up.

'Sookie-Alcide cleared his throat-What are you doing here?' I swallowed thickly being careful not to break into tears...Alcide was my best friend...but seeing him with another woman especially Pam who somehow managed to steal all my men (or maybe it was the other way round) burned.

'I...I came to find Eric' I said catching my voice before it disappeared, I saw Pam clench both of her fists in fury and she growled inwardly.

'have you always been so fucking stupid' she hissed stepping closer towards me

I took a step backwards 'what?' I asked my voice a raw whisper,

'ERIC'S GONE...he left me...Left you and his not coming back...' this time Pam broke down into tears she spun around and buried her face into the hard muscles of alcide chest. I looked away and blinked nearly letting the tears loose I hadn't known were there.

'Alcide...can I talk to you- I said Alcide pulled away from Pam, I stared at the back of Pams messy head mentally cursing at her ( lets hope she's not a mind reader) the werewolf genitally kissed her lips. And I spun around towards the door so I didn't have to watch them any longer; folding my arms, and then spinning on my heels once I dove into the crowd then began pushing past the people in the crowed and exited out of fangtasia into the breezy night.

* * *

Pam

I waited in the office, until I heard the phone ring, vamp speed picked it up a small part of me hoping god praying it was Eric...It wasn't. it was Loraine Ludwig.

' **Pam you cannot keep ignoring my calls'** Loraine shot down the phone I cut my eyes holding the phone tightly almost breaking it in frustration...why did she keep calling I didn't want to hear about this...at all...full stop...in fact to be honest I had almost forgotten about my situation,

'Well I can...and I am I don't want to talk to you...I don't want to think about this this thing '

 **'Well Pam I'm on my way over no arguments because...your due a scan'** I widened my eyes

'No...No why? You can't come over...you can't' I said 'I...I don't want to see it...I don't even want to think about it can't we just forget about it?

' **No we can't because we have to think through your options...I'm coming over and that's the end of it** ' and before i could even protest again this time she left me hanging.

* * *

Alcide

'What's up?' I asked towering over the short woman known as Sookie Stackhouse. She stood about a foot away from me with her arms folded her short ponytail blowing in the cool wind of Bon Temps.

'I thought you were at the barn?' she said

'I thought you were at work' I retorted, a silence fell over the car lot and we both regarded each other for a few seconds sookie inhaled a breath

I had No Idea...you two were...how long have you been seeing each-other alcide is it serious...' She asked her voice hitting a jealous edge. I didn't get it.

'It doesn't matter,- I said-

'Why are you seeing her' she blurted out suddenly. woah this had escalted quickly...I didn't know what to tell her, I couldn't tell her that I was in love with Pam that I had fallen in love with her. that she was the most ethereal being I had ever set eyes upon and there was nothing I wouldn't do for her because the feelings were new I had only really realized what those unexplained feelings had meant tonight.

'What… are you thinking her...her of all people- the faerie broke in I frowned at the waitress and looked around the car park then sucked in a breath of bordness.

'Yes...her...what does it matter anyway? she's no longer Eric's he released her she's free to do what she wants' I assured her why did this bother her...sure she and I had been a little more than friends once but that had been a long time ago and besides she was hung up on Bill and Eric...I did not feel that way about her and I never really had she had just been some quick fun.

'Yeh but Alcide...she's Eric's progeny...he may have released her but that doesn't mean their done they've spent over one hundred years together...there...there's no way she hasn't still got feelings for him you know that you saw how she reacted in there when i asked about him which means she obviously still cares about him... and I- I cut her off taking a step towards her so I was no towering over her intimidatingly,

'Don't tell me what Pam thinks...she was pissed off...don't try and kill my relationship with Pam just because you can't make up your mind about whether you want me, bill or Eric' I growled at her.

After an uncomfortable silence Sookie nodded her head clenched her fists and then almost vampire speed quickly moved towards her car, I stood there confused watching as she started the engine then drove away. Rolling my eyes I entered back into fangtasia. Before I knew it I had made my way back to the office where i saw Pam sitting down...she looked pale...paler than usual,.

'Pam?' I quizzed shutting the door behind me

'Alcide...- She said her voice shaking as if something bad had happened' I stepped closer towards her but she stood up quickly putting a hand out to stop me.

'Are you okay?' I asked worry lacing my tone She looked towards the door and approached closer towards her.

'Im fine- she rushed...'Alcide you have to go...now...' she said looking around the room I was about to argue but then I got a weird pulling feeling I only ever felt when there was trouble. The pack. The pack was in trouble, within moments I nodded then shot out the door past the crowd into the moonlight and then shifted.

* * *

Pam

 _Around an hour later_

'this is going to be cold' doctor Ludwig warned before continuing.

I cringed as the cold jelly hit my stomach...Alcide had long since left after I had reassured him that everything had was fine with me and Ludwig had turned up not long afterwards. Tara was also still asleep and by my guess she would be out til at least tomorrow night (I hoped). I had decided to keep the bar open so there was no attention on the office which meant after this check-up or whatever it was I could just nip this thing in the bud before it got worse, I looked away from the flickering screen when I felt the object on my stomach.

'Everything seems to be fine the infants healthy and...Normal... well as normal as it can be considering you're a vampire Would you like to know the sex?' Loraine inlisted I squeezed my eyes shut being careful not to look at the screen.

'No- I said-I want it gone...that's what I want' I admitted suddenly feeling tears well for im sure the hundredth time that night...I didn't want a baby...I couldn't be the mother I was supposed to be to it because I had never had a great role model of a mother in my human life i didnt know how to be a mom...I didn't want to raise this baby on my own.

'well Im afraid it's to late for that- Loraine said removing the device and wiping it cleani watched her for a long moment in silence _what did she mean_

'What do you mean it's too late?' I asked 'you said that I was only two months along which means it shouldn't be to late to have an abortion and-

'No Pam your 24 weeks along which means your five months along and judging by the looks of things your due dates july of this year probably around the tenth or the twentyeighth' Ludwig stated making me widen my eyes. wait I don't understand I had been with Eric five months ago I do recall that but how could the witch make this happen after three months...unless she didn't.

'But you said the witch-

'I must've been wrong...but it's no worry we can figure it out...I'll figure it out but until then Pam im afraid your having this little boy whether you like it or not'. I swallowed hard I remained silent for a bit before submitting an unsual answer well question.

'it's a boy?' i asked finally finding my words

'Yep...Pam it's a boy, your boy...your son and you want to kill him that innocent little baby... oh well were not all mother material... well anyway re you sure you don't want a look just so you can remember it you know for the rest of your immortal life...it's a 4D scan it might be a little scary at first but you'll get used to it? She said...I hesitated before turning my head like a child facing its worse fear, and then I saw IT. I caught sight of the flickering image of a 24 week old baby...no that couldn't of be growing inside of me...it looked so...so human, I fanged the inside of my cheek feeling tears well inside my eyes.

'It... ERM...it looks just like a real baby- I stuttered

'It is a real baby pam...your baby.' I cried at that finally realizing the impact that my situation had on everyone else had on him.

'No his not...well at least he won't be when the authority find out about him...they'll take him away from me and when alcide...

'd'you want a picture loraine quizzed interrupting me I hesitated and then I nodded mutely still staring at the sonogram then cursed my subconscious for doing so. I couldn't allow myself to get attached to this thing...Because if i did then I'd probably without a doubt get hurt like I always did. i continued to stare at the flickering image and more tears boiled over...god it looked so human...I could see its hands...it's little face and...No stop it just stop, ludwig spun around and then pressed a button on the machine, I soon heard the sound of printing paper.

''well given the fact you've got no choice to keep the baby you might wanna tell eric your pregnant, because your already starting to show.- well that would't be a problem...eric had already made it clear he wasn't coming back but there was still alcide he would freak when he found out especially when he found out it was eric's that would finish him...he'd never speak me again and I was done being hated I got enough of that from Tara...I had to get rid of this kid somehow there must've been a way to abort a five month developed foetus there had to be.

'This doesn't change anything' I said hiding my dry tone of voice...'what are my options for abortion?' I quizzed using my elbows to prop myself up

'But-

'What are my options?' I repeated hastily wiping the freezing goo off of my stomach. And then quickly standing to me feet before I got to comfortable.

'Well given how far along you are I'm afraid you won't be able to have an aspirin abortion or any of the other ones in the categories for early stages of pregnancy your only options are D&C which stands for dilation and cuttrage-

'Okay and what's this D&C one do'

'Well you would have to physically give birth to the baby which could be a very traumatizing situation for you and- the door burst open revealing Tara, I whirled around my mouth hanging slightly agape.

'Pam? - She said her vision shifting to the sonogram machine I exhaled heavily and vastly,

'Tara- I said Looking to the screen and then back towards Ludwig- Turn it off' I said pointedly towards Loraine

'' why- Tara said an unreadable expression gracing her beautiful features-What's going on what is that?' She quizzed coming closer I moved in front of her to stop her and then looked back over my shoulder, Tara looked towards me forcefully moved me out of the way and peered down towards the screen squinting her brown eyes.

'What is it?' she quizzed looking at the flickering image, I looked to Loraine for an answer but she looked to the ground twisting her lip in awkwardness.

'Pam?' she said again standing up from her bent position to look at me I swallowed hard, then tried to walk away but she grabbed my arm in the same vase grip she had used earlier.

I looked to Loraine again with pleading eyes but she looked away. Gritting my teeth in agitation I sighed then folded my arms.

'I-I began my voice shaking nervously- I'm pregnant' I said I watched Tara furrow her brows in confusion and then she smirked slightly before busting a gut laughing I stared at her my eyes still glimmering with wet tears,

'That's impossible' She snorted I could tell she was holding in more laughter and swallowed thickly, she was expecting me to burst out laughing as she had just done; tell her I was joking but I wasn't… I wish I was joking…I really wish I was Instead I stood there trying once again to hold back tears,

'I'm sorry Tara I'm so sorry the witch…she…she did this Well we thought she did but we were wrong because it turns out I've been pregnant for five months and I didn't know so now it's too late to have a normal abortion and-' I rushed my words tripping over each syllable, Tara stood in silence staring at me her eyes full of complete. I didn't know what. She stared at me for ages stared at me until I couldn't take the silence.

'Say something- I begged- Tara please' she regarded me silently her eyes falling to my abdomen then the machine then to Loraine. And then in the blink of an eye she was gone.

'No- I said taking a brief look back at doctor Ludwig before pacing after her as fast as I could manage- No Tara listen to me wait please let me explain…-I said my voice breaking into sobs- please, please let me explain

'Pam how can you do that to me' She cried 'You know how I feel about you'

'I'm sorry Tara' I sobbed trying not to look her into her eyes. 'It wasn't like… I didn't plan on getting pregnant I would take it back if I could but I can't and-

'I know whose been between your legs Pam. Im not dumb' she said I bit my lip

'Excuse me?' I asked she cut me off

'I'll kill that alcide- she cut me off yelling over the loud dubstep music making my eye's widen as she pushed past the shouting jumping rave-…I'll kill him you think I don't know what you guys have been up to god it's all making sense' now She interrupted me my eyes shot towards her and I swallowed hard then shook my head.

'No' I said 'you can't…you can't tell him,

'give me one reason why I shouldnt?' I bit my lip shook my head then looked at her straight in the eye

'Because-'

'Because what?' Tara said placing her hands on her hips.

'Because it's not his…It's Eric's' I said breathing out sigh half because I was relieved that I wasn't in this on my own and half because I was afraid of her reaction

Tara shook her head and Backed away bumping into one of the fang bangers, 'Hey' the fang banger protested that was until Tara spun around baring fangs making the brunette back off.

'YOU- she began but was interrupted by a brunette male I had failed to acknowledge, My vision travelled to throne and I felt anger flare.

'We'll talk about this later- I said- I don't have to explain myself to you' I stated drying my tears and pulling myself together then Looking around catching sight of ginger who was staring at the two of us but now stared towards the ugly Male that was sitting in…my makers throne a butters leer playing on the corner of his lips as he seized a red head into his arms probably ready to drain her dry, I felt my fangs shoot out in rage. And without thinking I was in front of the male vampire. (who kind of reminded me of a flamboyant version of bill.)

'Excuse me' I said coldly He ignored me. his face still buried in the redheads cleavage Losing patience I forced my foot down on him pinning him down by his chest there was no way he could move. The redhead screamed hit the ground and then crawled away to coward in the corner.

'Good now I've got your attention'- I said in my usual smartass tone 'there's no feeding on humans in fangtasia' His mouth hung open as if he were about to laugh which only frustrated me further 'number fucking two get out of my makers throne before I stake you all over it' I Growled which only made the smirk on his face wider. Why was he smiling?

'Monarchs have lifted the ban on feeding and Northman is history, the authority have named me the new sheriff of area five' I frowned letting my guard down temporally and before I could come up with a retort he had thrown me across the room, I hit the table landing on my back and then hit the ground Tara was by my side within seconds, despite the argument we had just had.

'GRAB A HUMAN DRINKS ARE ON ME' he laughed grabbing the brunette up from the floor, pulling her back onto his lap and then began feeding again. Tara and I looked at each other in horror.

 **HOPE YOU GUYS LIKED THIS CHAPTER SORRY FOR THE DELAY AND PLEASE REVIEW NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE POSTED ASAP ENJOY I've already began writing chapter 11 X**


	11. Chapter 11

I sat in the office ignoring Loraine as she packed up her equipment and blocking out Tara's panicked rant. subconsciously taking the ultrasound print out she handed to me when she walked past towards the door.

'What Now?' Tara shot out from her corner of the room I remained silent clutching a pillow tight against my chest for comfort, yeah (What the hell were we going to do pam?)…I had lost Eric…soon It would be alcide and I had lost the bar, what a fucking idiot.

'Pam!' Tara shouted jumping me out of my thoughts.

'I DON'T KNOW! - I yelled agitated- JESUS JUST GIMME A SECOND…-I shot standing to my feet really quickly a little too quickly- I JUST NEED TO THINK I- I rambled suddenly feeling quite unwell and really, really dizzy, I stumbled slightly then caught my balance on the arm of the sofa,

'Pam...Pam are you okay?' Tara quizzed taking a step towards me her eyes full of worry the tone of her voice edgy. I swallowed thickly then nodded quickly.

'I'm fine' I blurted watching as Ludwig left the room 'I'm fine…we just need to figure this out…how are we going to get rid of-

'Elijah' Tara finished my sentence sitting on the black desk I watched her making my expression unreadable.

'Oh so were on a first name basis with the creep now?' I quizzed folding my arms.

'Yes…No…I don't know' Tara gibed 'I mean what are we supposed to do?' she said, 'he practically owns our asses he already took the bar and Eric's place as sheriff for area five it's just a matter of time before-

I cut her off 'oh what so you're just giving up? Letting him own-I said mocking her voice- our asses? We are not going to let him take over as sheriff…the authority can't do this they. OUCH!' I pipped my hand instantly moving to the small curve of my stomach, what was happening what was this strange sensation it was a feeling…a feeling I couldn't quite describe…what was it. It felt like? Butterflies? Maybe I don't know.

'What is it?' Tara said I didn't answer just stood there frozen feeling the movement again only this time against my hand ' ow' I said again when I felt a really strong force against my palm.

'Pam! What's wrong?' Tara bleated spinning around vamp speed and snatching up the detachable phone.

'I- I burst- I don't know -I panicked- I don't know…It feels like…like butterflies I don't know' I wailed 'It doesn't hurt but-

'It's probably just kicking,' Tara cut in her voice full of jealousy I rolled my eyes and then took a seat again. Tara put the phone back onto the hook.

'Tara- I started but she intervened walking forward so she now stood in front of me.

'I'm sorry I can't pretend that we don't need to talk about this. It's eating me up inside'- She stated- When were you going to tell me? 'She challenged making me look up from my fixation on the floor 'when you got huge, when your ankles began to swell-

'I think you're a month to late on that one' I cut in she glared at me making me shut up.

, 'ORR! When you finally give birth to that thing because that's what's going to happen, it won't stay inside you forever' she mocked I growled inwardly then stood to my feet once again she was right. I wouldn't have told her if she hadn't of walked in, I would have gotten rid of it if it wasn't medically to late, I still would but there was one thing stopping me…Fear and something else.

'That's not fair' I defended myself 'I only found out a few days ago I had no idea what I was going to do, I still don't…I'm scared Tara but I'm having this baby either way because it's medically too late to take care of it so you should get used to the idea… and as for this place we don't need it it's just four walls and plaster.' I said storming out of the room.

Tara pov

 _I sat in the office pondering on what Pam had just said, I couldn't let her lose this place, and she and Eric had been through hell to get it to where it was but what would I do? To kill him would be incredibly risky but I reckon I could pull it off without the authority finding out. But I would need alibies would need them fast…come on Tara Thornton think. How do you pull off the perfect murder? …Ginger... (I mean not literally ginger I mean she wasn't the murdering type) but she would make perfect bait. I beamed exiting the office. Pam would be so proud of me._

Pam pov

I sat outside on Fantasia's roof and bit my lip my mind wondering to the last person that had been on my mind. Conrad. How had he known? Why had he come if he had just been a figure of my imagination? Unless he was real maybe trapped in some sort of parallel world, what if…No Pam stop your losing it. You don't want to lose it again. Not again. But I was already losing it. Because I didn't know what to do. I couldn't put myself through giving birth to the thing. It would scar me for the rest of my immortal eternity. I tried to put on a brave face in front of Tara but the truth was, I was bricking it. In fact I'm shitting myself Scared. Yes Pamela Swynford de Beaufort scared. Scared because I had actually seen this thing, found out its gender realised that it wasn't a monster…it was a baby… I saw it…it was alive and already halfway developed into a fully grown baby, four more months and it would grace the world with its abnormal presence, but couldn't take away its right to live. To be alive but I couldn't keep It either. So I'd have to…give it away give Him away. It was the only thing I could do to keep him safe…so he didn't have to look over his shoulder for the rest of his life. I owed him that. Because whether I liked it or not, He was a part of me. Apart of Eric. And I would never forgive myself if I was to blame for his death.

I had to make preparations, I had to leave and I would leave tomorrow night. I'm sorry alcide…I'm sorry Tara but it's no longer safe. Please forgive me.

I bit my lip and then slid of the roof, my feet hit the ground and I stalked back into the night club.

As I entered the joint, the intermingled smells of smoke and sweat and too many people and vampire instantly assaulted my senses I inhaled it deeply which made me feel nauseous. "Tara. Tara I had to find Tara" I thought and pushed my body through the uncomfortable thong,( Jesus I had to get rid of these things') . Finally finding my way to an empty barstool in the corner, I caught a red head males eye, shook my head and smiled downward. Laughing to myself I motioned to our newest bartender Chris..."B negative" I mouthed, he nodded and melted away into the cries of a hundred other thirsty patrons.  
By now, my eyes were adjusting to the imminent darkness, tomblike and womblike at the same time. Bright spots of neon beer and tru blood signs on the wall stood out, illuminating the faces, fangs, cleavage and Mohawks of the crowd, while others disappeared into the contrasting blackness. My eye's fixed onto the office door. Wait something was wrong. Where was ginger? I slid down from my Stoll and pushed past the sweaty bodies, towards the door opening it, where I was faced with a gruesome sight.

'You have got to be kidding me' I said looking at Tara who held in her right hand some sort of samari weapon

'Were not running' Tara said over gingers screaming, I looked at Tara with anger

'No one fucks with us in our house- She began her speech but I stopped her dead in her tracks 'NO…-I said-….No Tara what have you done?'

'I got rid of him kill him like you wanted- she made to defend herself but I stopped her.

'I didn't say that…Tara there going to come after you. They'll kill you!' I panicked

'Who?' she said

'the authority' I yelled, in a blur I left the room and was up on the stage where I unplugged the stereo, the music came to a hold and everyone stopped dancing, they all groaned and yelled in protest.

'Everyone out!' I yelled 'OUT!' all the humans rushed out of the bar, and so did the vampires leaving the bar completely empty. Tara ran out to where I stood.

'WHAT DO WE DO?' she bleated…'I…I don't want to die, How they will even know?

'THEY HAVE FUCKING CAMERA'S EVERYWHERE,' I yelled 'OH FOR FUCKS SAKE TARA YOU'VE REALLY DONE IT THIS TIME' I screamed at her

'IM SORRY I CLEARED EVERY THING UP THERES NO EVIDENCE! Tara yelled back her tone matching mine

I shook my head then moved towards ground.

'Where are you going?' Tara called after me. 'To think I said'

 _Two hours Tara_

 _I stood behind the bar cleaning the glasses. A few people had rendered the club, mostly vampires and pam had been thinking for a long time. I knew she wanted to be alone right now but we had a lot to talk about. A lot. I stared at the glass pondering on whether I should go find her but my thoughts were interrupted when a short haired middle age (vampire) approached me. She wore a pink business suit her skirt stopping just below her knees._

' _Were all out of true blood' I said leaning over the bar_

 _The woman leaned forward plastering a force grin over her face 'what else are you serving? She asked,_

' _Your welcome to try our fine section of humanity' I said trying to recreate Pam's advertising tone._

' _I'm waiting for someone my progeny' she stated I eyed her then noticed Pam come up the stairs to sit in the throne, I looked back to the woman and forced a smile_

' _His sheriff of these parts' Oh shit Elijah I stared her cold in the eye, and dipped my head as if I had no idea why she had come._

' _came by here last night' I said flatly 'we paid our taxes and he moved on_

' _Oh is that right?' she said brightly with force sarcasm_

' _Yeah' I lied then looked over to Pam, her eyes were focused on the white liner paper she had in her lap as she scribbled down some writing (Pam your help would be deeply appreciated I thought) in a flash my head was pinned against the bar, I let out a shocked wince and tried to sit up, but her grip weighed down on me heavier than a car I could tell she was at least five hundred years older than me by her strength alone._

' _I can smell Elijah's blood on you' she said letting me up her vice grip not leaving my hair._

' _A maker always knows when her progeny dies, he was only one of two hundred and four but it's still like a cold spike in your heart- she paused a second to take an unneeded breath and searched my eyes- who killed him? - she gripped my hair tighter- Was it you?'I stared at her about to open my mouth to speak but was interrupted._

' _it was me…a voice came from behind me, a voice I recognised as pam's the woman instantly spun around releasing her grip on my hair._

' _What possessed you…to murder my progeny' she asked slivering over to where Pam stood_

' _He was getting on my nerves' Pam said flatly The woman regared her for a few seconds before clicking her fingers and with that, ten armed vampires entered the bar holding guns, they held Pam at gun point while two of their men cuffed her._

' _In the name of the one true vampire authority, a rolemodel of wisdom and justice, which has been seen upon before lillith, I arrest you for the murder of Sheriff Elijah storm.' Within moments they had shoved Pam out the door. I stood there in stunned silence._

Pam

I was forcefully shoved into the back of a black vehicle, and fell onto my front, landing hard on my stomach I swallowed thickly, where were they taking me? What would happen? How would I get out of this one? I sat up drawing my knee's to my chest and watched them shut the door leaving me in a gaping hole of darkness. I licked my lips and waited until I felt the car start up, which didn't take long, and when it did, I had to put an arm out to prevent me from sliding all over the place. Like a ball inside an air machine.

'She will receive deep punishment for this crime she's committed I want you to make sure of that' I heard the woman's voice, I did not know her name but Eric and I had crossed paths with her and her authority band mates more than once in my one hundred years by his side, because back then we were always in shit, every god damn week because Eric couldn't keep it in his pants (not that I was complaining), in fact he was the reason we were stranded at fangtasia for thirty years, Not that I didn't love the place but, It does to be honest drive a girl mad sometimes, The mere thought drove me insane and I folded my arms. But then…I got that feeling again, that swift butterflying swimming sensation just below my belly button, I frowned Not knowing what to do, I had, had this feeling earlier but,…! My thoughts were shattered when I Felt something move against my bare feet, it felt like…A trainer? I moved my feet.

'Who's there?' uttered a familiar voice…who was that? Was it…was it Jessica? Jessica Hamby. I shifted oh my god thank god I'm not alone…wait no Pam contain yourself play it cool be the cold bitch you know you are.

'Barbie!' I uttered blankly there was a moment of silence before the voice spoke again.

'Pam?' She quizzed

'Bingo' I said dryly

'O Pam I'm so glad you're here…Where are they taking use?' She asked

'Fuck should I know' I said breathing in a heavy breath 'But it can't be good, they'll probably make it a slow painful and then torture us and eventually kill us'

'But who are they- Jessica quizzed there was a long daunting silence before I answered,

'The authority I dead panned…

 **Hey guys managed to update Nxt chapter will b up asap please review and follow and enjoy the rest of ur day xxx**


	12. Chapter 12

After about an hour of driving (in complete silence) the vehicle finally slowed. I felt Jessica jolt awake and stared at the outline of her form and judging by how statically her hair stood up she didn't look good, the doors of the black van soon opened one by one, hitting us with one harsh light that wasn't day but a street lamp which glowed white, my eye's finally fixed on Jessica and just as I had suspected, she looked wrecked her red hair pulled into a tight pony tail blood staining her face, massive bags under her eyes despite the makeup she wore in an attempt to cover it, god she look almost as bad as me…almost,

I focused on the hand that now gripped my shoulder and was pulling me from the van, and wriggled in protest, the same was soon done to Jessica,

'Shut up' the guard grunted twisting Jessica's arm as they practically dragged us towards the opaque glass door, the wind blew through my golden locks, making me gasp when it hit my knee length sweater, and went straight through my black skinny jeans something I had rushed into when I had been packing to leave earlier.

'What are you going to do with us?' I asked gasping when I felt the silver cuffs move around my bare wrists and looked backwards to see the officer holding me wore leather gloves (smart son of bitch) I shook my head ogling at the clear door they were now opening the baby vampire squealed in protest as they dragged us inside and I winced as the guard twisting my fucking arm (ouch), we walked down a white marble cover hallway, and I looked down at the floral patterns and then up towards the ceiling where I saw rectangular lights going past like in a movie. It made me dizzy. I bit down on my lip and sighed heavily. The music that came from the end of the hall way making me calm, 'lestats sonata as I recall, one of my favourites.

Suddenly I was pushed against something hard, and with force, I gasped and held my breath, Jessica stared at me with a worried expression, something I failed to notice,

'Tell roman were bringing two up' The woman from earlier voiced 'I'll take this one she said to the vampire guard holding Jessica, In vamp speed all four of us were inside the lift and the five hundred year old pushed the button for floor one, we were up there in seconds flat, where I was barged out of the lift. The woman nodded towards the blonde vampire who sat behind a desk before us,

'Take her to the cell' she ordered the guard that held me I watched her with Jessica until I couldn't see them anymore, and entered a grey painted hall way, with a red portrait on the left, we turned a corner where I caught the eye of a naked male shifter I recognise as Sam merlotte,

'What the fuck are you doing here?' I demanded

'What are you doing here he questioned back my eyes followed his until I couldn't turn my head anymore.

'Hey help lunar' He shouted

'Who the fuck is Luna?' I quizzed the guard pushed my head making me turn around with flare 'FUCK YOU' I spat when he pushed me into my cell and stepped inside He grabbed my hair forcing me to stand still

'What are you doing I yelled

'Hold still' he ordered, I wriggle but he dug his nails into my arms which hurt, I stopped abruptly pressing my lips into a straight line. I was expecting him to hurt me give me a beating. Rape me because that was what I was used to when I was normally taken hostage, but instead I felt something cold go around my neck I looked down but couldn't see anything all I could see was my chest.

'What?' I started but in a blink he was gone and I was locked inside that confined space.

'LET ME OUT!' I demanded grabbing hold of the bars, I instantly recoiled from it my hands instantly going to my neck a buzzing sensation went all throughout my body and tightened shockingly around my where the collar was, My entire frame shook and I fell backwards onto the concrete convulsing, instantly I felt the butterflying sensation against my abdomen for the second time that night but this time it was…Urgent like a warning.

'What's wrong? What's wrong? What did I do?' I asked the unborn baby growing inside my womb placing both hands on my stomach, there was another spark and I recoiled from myself and began to cry, what do I do what do I do…my baby I thought… I held my hands up not knowing what to do when I felt another warning kick.

And scrambled backwards until I felt the back of the bed and heaved myself up on to it, I had to get this thing off of me? Come on Pam use your brains, I sat on the edge of the bed thinking hardly for about forty minutes and crying out loud until I couldn't cry anymore I lay on the my back feeling a numb empty sensation I had never ever felt before…I couldn't feel him he hadn't "kicked" for over forty minutes my mind filled with horrible possibilities I soon heard the heavy sound of protest, I looked around until my vision focused on Jessica who was shoved into the cell next to mine.

'LET ME OUT!' she screamed grabbing the bar before I could tell her not to but she didn't get the shock so why did it only affect me.

'Pam?' I heard the trembling voice of the red head, I continued to stare up at the ceiling my vision a blurry red.

''its bill…and Eric…they've lost it they've gone insane' she blustered 'I don't know what do' wait now hold on hold the fuck up Eric was alive…but he said…he said he went after Russell. Was this Jessica telling me that Eric had joined the fucking authority and lied to me again? My frame was now roaring with angst ut the better part of me was so numb.

'I can't feel it…' I whispered to Jessica dryly and quietly in a small voice I cleared my throat and tried again my voice coming out small and pathetic 'I-I can't feel it-

'Pam didn't you hear what I just said? Their worse than my uncle that started his own church he told my cousins Santa Claus wasn't real when they were little so he wouldn't up stage Jesus'

I sat up temporally forgetting about the fact that I hadn't felt the baby, in over forty minutes

'They put this collar round my neck…Have you got one?' I asked in a quiet voice,

'No' Jessica stated 'but Pam-

'I touched the bars and got shocked' I said Standing up once again to pace around the cell 'are you telling me Eric and Bill are behind this fuckery?'

'Basically yes' I turned around biting my finger nails,

'Eric's always made such fun of religion-

'Not in here' Jessica said standing up 'it's like there in a cult, you know their eyes are crazy…crazy feeds crazy, they want to conquer the world and their just crazy enough to do it and it doesn't matter how many people get hurt or killed' I listened getting ready to make a bitter retort.

'You know one of the annoying things about being immortal is having to watch this same stupid scenario happen over and over, it's usual the humans though, guess this proves were just as fucking retared as they are-

'I still can't believe Eric and Bill weren't even going to warn Sookie that Russell ediginton was coming after them' Jessica shook her head I rolled my eyes

'Must all roads lead to fucking sookie' I breathed resisting the urge to cradle my abdomen, because I knew what would happen'

'So you're just going to let them drain her all because according to their vampire bible…you're an abomination' Right that did it. I turned around smirking bleakly.

'Maybe there's something to this religion after all' 'I said bitterly Jessica stared at me exhaled a breath and then sat down her bed but as soon as she did we heard a loud crash from the ceiling.

'Great now what? I breathed looking around blearily when I lights shut down, the whole world spun around making me throw up in my mouth, and I looked around hearing footsteps approaching from down the stairs on the right hand side of the hallway.

'Sookie?' Jessica bleated out

'Sookie?!' I echoed feeling a mixture of frustration and relief, yeah sure she had probably come to save our asses but we were not on the best of terms (not after she had caught me with Alcide) plus we had always hated eachother, she had stolen Eric away from me, (okay seriously Pam stop caring)

'Jessica' sookie called out 'you okay?' I ignored the two female's conversion instead focusing my gaze on my progeny, because she was the only one I gave a fuck about in this room, aside from Jessica... Kinda.

'What the fuck are you doing' I called out towards her,

'im getting you the fuck out of jail bitch' I smirked then jumped as Tara vamp-speed shot one of the vamp guards, the redhead screw her face up in disgust

'Ewww' Jessica bleated out watching as the guard burst into a puddle of a mixture of blood interstines heart and whatever else made up the body from his human life I silently gagged seeing the sight of crimson liquid that now stained the outside of my cell

' _gross'_ I muttered silently biting the inside of my cheek which drew blood, I felt my fangs itch then clenched my teeth together in an effort to stop them bursting out, Sookie regarded me for a second before speaking,

'yawl need to hold tight we need to wait a second here' she announced moving a strand of hair away from her face, I blankly stared at her for a moment then spoke;

'Wait for what?' I asked rising out of the slump I had been in to get the pressure of my pelvis, then pacing towards the cells bars,

'Wait for Eric and Nora to disarm and unlock everything' I closed my eyes breathing out a heavy sigh, and tried to contain the raging phoenix inside me that was dying to break free, who the fuck was Nora…who was she because I hadn't heard of her…Like ever

'Nice plan' I said shakily giving them my famous eyebrow raise…No Pam act normally, Don't think about the baby…just don't I swallowed hard and looked down towards my adomin,

'Sure beat yours' Tara replied flirtatiously I looked up towards her arching an eyebrow; it was then I heard the clank of metal and the doors gave way and the metal collar fell from my neck…I instantly let a hand wind around it, jessica and i let out a blessid sigh of relief in unision, then a defening almost awarkward silence fell over the concrete walls, Sookie stood on the opposite end of Taras cells waiting...just waiting it took me a while to realise what the stupid bitch had been waiting for, and I cleared my throat looking towards Jessica who had also just realised,

'Oh erm sookie can you get these doors please' Jessica asked politely, gesturing towards the cells handle.

'Oh right because there made of silver and yawl are vampires duh' sookie stated dumbly I scowled then rolled my eyes shifting uncomfortably were I stood something didn't feel right, I didnt feel right..I ignored the odd sensation in my back letting the unneeded air deflate from me like a balloon.

Tara beat sookie to my cell opening the door with an ear piercing shriek of pain sending shivers down my back,

'Jesus Tara' I said outloud with a smirk moving my messy hair behind my ear,

'Tara' sookie breathed in shock I watched Tara feeling pride well up inside me, my thoughts were interrupted when tara grabbed hold of me bringing me towards her lips entering in for a kiss but i dodged it gripping her shoulders and pulling her at arms lengh the feeling of dizziness radiated from back all the way to my knee caps

'I can't-I said- Alcide- but then I froze for a feeling like i was going to fall, the world around me shifted making me stumble

'Pam- I heard Sookie's voice blurt out in concern, I whimpered in confusion allowing myself to be helped by Tara then bracing myself against her shoulder,

'I'm okay- _what if the collar really did something-_ I thought but i wouldn't say that out loud I didn't want to believe anything was wrong…I didn't want to, I pressed my lips in a firm line looking around the room wearily,

'Pam...What's happening' Jessica bleated out cautiously Placing a on my shoulder, 'are you okay-

'I said I'm fine' I _snapped_ cutting her off, Jessica gasped then fell silent, 'I feel sleepy' i muttered,

Again my eye's began seeping shut (problably due to my lack of sleep) but i willed myself to stay awake at least until i got out of here...

 _two minuets later_

'Hey Pam It's all going to be okay ,- Tara reassured me my gazes shifted to the ceiling but snapped back up towards her when she spoke again- hey look at me you're okay' Tara spoke as we walked up the stairs trying her best to make me feel better, i shook my head weakly gripping onto her tighter,

'No it won't…Its not okay' I gritted out shivering

'What do you mean?' Tara quizzed

'The collar the Bar… It had volt's it went off…And I haven't felt him move in over forty minutes I cried quietly. Tara gave me an unreadable expression that was laced in worry. 'I don't think-

'No Pam don't say that, his probably just resting everything's going to be okay right?' she said I pressed my lips together and began shaking my head

'Right?' Tara said I looked up then forced a reassuring smile.

'Right' I said quietly clearing my throat

'There now That's the Pam I know' she nodded gesturing for Jessica to give her some help, the red head rushed over Like an obedient child. grabbing under my other arm then taking my weight over her right shoulder.

the Faerie paced towards the metal transporter; pressed the button for the elevator, then spun around to face me her ponytail flailed about in the process almost hitting Tara in the face _bitch_ I thought

'Are you okay?' she asked specifically towards me,

all I could manage was a shake of my head and the sway made me so nauseous I wanted to throw up, I let go of Tara bracing myself against the elevator until I felt the dizziness subsided, after a moment of closing my eye's, they snapped open, when I felt the butterflying soaring sensation right at the bottom of my stomach I closed my eyes in relief my hand finally finding my adomin and looked towards Tara, who was beaming, I nodded towards her and her smile got wider, and that's when I finally realised How much I loved the baby…My baby. My son I took a grip on Tara's hand once again. Jessica took hold of me again.

 **Hi guys chapter 2 will b posted some time tommoz so keep ur eyes pealed have a nice evening and review x**


	13. Chapter 13

I crinkled my nose suddenly smelling Sookie, but a lighter low calorie version of her _Jason_ I thought looking over my shoulder towards the doorway

'Jason' Jessica shot out letting go of me, I gasped bracing myself against Tara again.

The red head vamped over to Jason pulling him into a snug embrace, he looked less than happy to see her, in fact he screwed his face up in disgust. I cringed looking at Tara with a slight smirk.

'I'm sorry about what I said I do love you and I want to be with you' she burst hugging him desperately it was then I knew this wouldn't end well, he wriggled free from Jessica's vice like hug,

I can't ever love a vamper Jessica, I just can't I'm sorry I dont love you' he uttered I stared at Jessica watching as her heart broke in a million fragments, the red head let out a quick unneeded breath making it sound almost painful, i cringed seeing the look on jasons face, it didnt take a genius to to know he had completely bullshitted her, jessica was completly oblivious probably due to her under developed vampire senses.

the lift pinged and the doors slid open with a hiss, Eric and the brunette I didn't know entered the room I barely heard what they said as I lost in my own little world of hell, eric stopped where he was by my guess taking in the sight of sookie, i clenched my fists tightly staring at the ceiling,

'Sookie' he said breathlessly his accent thicker than usual I saw sookie tense then turn around, to face him

'Eric?' She said echoing his breathless tone, he stepped closer towards her closing the space between them; taking her hand in his,

'I thought you were dead you didn't call me like I asked you to' he said moving the stray strand of hair from her face, then cupping her cheeks I whimpered quietly feeling myself about to cry, why was i crying I felt sad and upset yet hiding my emotions was never normally a problem for me, (hormones)

'I'm sorry' the faerie replied softly breaking me from my thoughts I felt an unusual intense and unexpected surge of jealousy run through me and gulped back tears my emotions soon turned to anger when Eric's gaze shifted towards me filled with regret,

'Pamela-' he begun but I interrupt his icy blue eyes catching those of my similar ones

' No I don't want to hear it just stay away…please I can't I'- I gritted out letting go of Tara's hands the brunette female moved to stand in front of me taking my hand in hers

'Come on Pamela' I heard the woman say I didn't obey, her British accent angered me and my patience was on an all time low my temper was flaring red hot I barely had a chance to think of my actions. The only thought running through my head was getting her to shut up.  
I pursed my lips and raised my hand back. And threw my hand forward as hard as I could, whipping it across her face. The crack of skin contacting skin echoed off the walls. Vibrations of pain started in my palm and spread all the way to my finger tips. My palm was bright red, the same red mark that matched the one on her face. She stared at me with her eyes wide as her hand slowly made it to her fire red cheek. Everyone fell silent.

'I'm not fucking going anywhere with you and i I'm not leaving without some answers…Eric' I hissed out I heard Eric exhale a breath of frustration, and the brunette was up within seconds pinning me Flat against the wall her hand in a firm grip against my throat; she was a good two hundred years older than me so i had no chance of getting out of this vice hold, Tara hissed baring fangs at her ready to attack

'Let go off her you British bitch!' Tara yelled Stepping forward.

'Tara' I warned , I felt her grip release from my throat and realised Eric had pulled her off of me, the brunette growled and wriggled against Eric's hold in wrath,

'Get in the lift Pam' he growled out firmly I ignored his command, instead pushing myself off the wall setting a slow pace

' I want Answers Eric!' I said again my voice as firm and demanding as I could make it and I'm dizzy again but this time hot as well,

'Can we talk about this later,' Eric gritted out, I ignored his question instead turning my back and stubbornly making towards the door..."wait Pam think about your son" my mind nagged Oh shit I rolled my eyes and then turned around slowely and got inside the lift.

'Ok so Eric, Alcide and I will be up, momentarily until that ya'll sit tight ' Sookie stated wait wait wait hold the fuck up Alcide…What was he doing here? Why was…the alarm bells started ringing And then It all pieced together he had come here with Tara to save me, I felt my breath hitch in my throat.

'Wait what Alcide's here?' I quizzed stepping forward,

'Yeah but- sookie started Eric cut across her

'Why…

'Why? what do you mean why?' I quizzed folding my arms,

'Why do you care so much about Alcide you used to despise him' Eric replied deeply, I opened my mouth to speak but sookie cut me off with a bitter remark

'Because she's sleeping with him' she stated spitefully I stared at her my eyes so wide they could have popped out of their sockets.

'What?' Eric growled shocking everyone in the room into another awkward silence I looked back towards him my mouth slightly agape,

'I-I erm let me through- I said Pushing Past the brunette and stumbling back out Into the foie I looked around the big space about to walk towards a dark hallway that was until I felt a strong grip on my arm

'Get off me- I protested- what are you doing?' I grabbed his hand trying pry it off of my arm…it didn't work.

'You are not doing this' he stated 'Alcide is not important. your life is!'

'You can't stop me' I said 'I'm going to find him' I announced stubbornly

'Pamela- I won't warn you again…stay here' He growled and with that he pushed me towards the elevator and proceeded walking down the way I would have gone. I frowned watching on until sookie and he disappeared behind the hallway into the cloak of darkness. Turning back around I bumped into the silver doors of the lift oh nice they had already left, without me I bit my lip. Well they had gone without me so there was a reason for me to stay, I would tell Eric that if he asked, I followed the hallway Eric and sookie had gone down Earlier and caught sight of Eric kicking down the door, He entered vamp speed, and I raced down after them tornadoing into the room; shoving Past Eric and catching sight of an unconscious Alcide,

'pam' He roared I told you to leave'

I Dropped to my knee's in front of the werewolf blanking my maker Blanking him because alcide was bleeding and bad'

Eric Pov

I stared at the Pair of them watching as MY pam lovingly ran her finger tips through his dark mane of hair. Alcide the werewolf of all the people she could choose from what was wrong with Tara? Or ginger.

…Sookie had said they were in some sort of relation with each other…was it true…If it was I would rip his fucking head off. How dare anyone that wasn't me touch… pam! She was mine and no one else's not even alcide's. I had made her therefore she belonged to me. Even if I had released her, and not alcide hell even sookie would get in the way of that, I stared at my progeny who kneeled in front alcide and noticed something different about her. Something I couldn't quite put my finger on but something I had defiantly sensed before and seen…had she gained weight? Could vampires even gain weight? I wouldn't ask her because that would make her hate me even more. , I watched Pam with alcide feeling for the first time in a long time jealous, jealous that he had been there for her when I hadn't. that he had gained her love trust and devotion, that she had probably given herself to him blood body and soul. I made used all my effort to swipe the thought clean from my mind. No she wouldn't do that…she wouldn't. (or would she?)

'God I'm so sorry- She whispered to Alcide- I'm so sorry I got you into this' she said bending her upper half down to kiss his fore head, I fidgeted with envy eyeing the two of them, but my jealous emotions ending when I caught sight of Bill Compton. With the vile of Lilith blood.

Pam pov

'So Lilith appeared to you as well bill breathed I looked up noticing Bill for the first time'

'only to savagely alliterate my maker' the words erupted from Eric's chest in as if someone had fed him poison I turned around breathily to look at I looked back towards him but his icy eyes were fixed on bill, Bill gripped the bottle staring right through him,

'She's a mad god bill' Eric stated in a less dense less harsh tone of voice, making Bill raise his chin in defiance, and smirked in amusement.

'She's nothing but destruction' He said 'Don't do it' he warned sternly, I stared at Bill, looking for any signs of Eric's words sinking in it didn't look hopeful,

'So you can? 'He quizzed my eyes snapped back to Eric's tall form and everything began making sense, Jessica had been right they were worshiping Lilith, but one thing she hadn't mentioned was that they were also drinking her blood which meant he had lost faith in godric, I swallowed thickly feeling…so…so sick at the thought.

'Throw it in the fucking fire' Eric cautioned, his voice coming off strong even from behind me.

'You cannot stop me' Bill mused brainwashed I gazed up at him shaking my head

'So why'd you authorize our entry then…you knew we would try? ' Eric retorted

'Because I wasn't yet sure I would get rid of Salome' the Boy Scout admitted starting a steady pace back and forth around the room.

'Bill this isn't you' Sookie scraped in I looked down ignoring her voice my vision was on Alcide who was beginning to stir awake.

'What the fuck do you know about me,' He snapped intimidatingly I thought back a laugh despite the seriousness of the situation at the shocked looked I'm guessing was slapped Sookie's face.

'For all you know everything I did with you was an act. Calculated to a lesson to this particular response' Bill shot out cruelly

'I know that's not true' she defended herself,

'Why because the light you bare? - Jesus Christ finally someone says it after four fucking years- did you ever consider the possibility that it's a handy cap the one that blinds you to the most obvious of truth's that you are an abomination…just like the vampire bible states- (preach it) I thought biting my tongue to actually say it due to the fact I knew now was not the time.

I felt sookie walk around me and watched her legs as she took walked towards Bill,

'Bill…You are stronger than this' she gritted out marching around alcide 'you are capable of sympathy and kindness and generosity, you are unique among all the vampires I've met (she say's trying to sweet talk him round) don't throw that away!' she yelled there was a silence that fell over the room as everyone watched each other, I felt out Alcide shift beneath me and his eyes opened I looked down at him and smiled stroking his hair once again.

'I've spent my entire life as a vampire apologising believing I was wrong somehow, living in fear, fear that god had forsaken me, that I was damned. Well Lilith grants us freedom from fear. Visatomesnat 24 fear not for my blood is beyond fear,' I cringed at how mad he sounded, he couldn't possibly be buying this shit. Could he? Could any of them? I mean it was just a myth. Just because it was written in a book and one paper doesn't mean it's real.- fear of sin, fear of mankind fear of retribution- he continued- for vow are begat by god- this was madness- and this world is but a spring to slake they sacred thirst'

Bill if I ever meant anything to you at all' Sookie stated stepping forward I rolled my eyes, Jesus this bitch always made it about her,

'I told you…the night we met, Vampires often turn on those they love the most' he said leaving everyone to ponder on everything he had just said before vamp speed downing the vile of blood, Sookie made a sound of protest and Eric took a step forward but it was too late. We all waited in silence nothing happened at first but then something did…Something horribly peak, something awful He began convulsing still standing his two feet, the remaining blood he had in his vessel oozing boiling from everywhere his eye's nose ears mouth…you name it, I gagged my heart telling me to get the hell out of there but my head telling me to stay and watch, Sookie backed up until she was besides Eric. My maker who pushed her behind him for protection. And then like some sort of fucked up magic trick Bill exploded…I mean Proper exploded bursting like some sort of bad chemical reaction, the Blood splattered all over me and I screamed. Choked and gagged Feeling like I was going to vomit…literally.

The faerie immediately broke down into tear's the grief evident in her sobs she launched herself at Eric. I looked away unable to watch the pair of them as it was still too painful, I could hear her pathetic sobbing and growled well that was until I looked at the puddle of blood and saw it practically mopping itself up. Eric must've noticed it to,

'Sookie' he said

'I'm sorry but is that supposed to happen' I rushed out looking at the puddle, It was then I saw the bloody form of bill emerging from the puddle of crimson gore and in the nude I scrambled backwards, in fear my blue eyes widening.

'Fuck' Sookie breathed _precisely_ I thought. Bill billith or whoever the hellit was let out, the most animalistic sound I have ever heard a vampire make.

'Run' Eric roared, grabbing my up by my arm vamp speed, and taking me vamp speed out of the room, sookie ran human speed behind us. Wait alcide was in there with that freak…I…I had to get him out, but I had to think of the baby as well. I ran down the hall way as fast as I could, Eric held Sookie's hand willing her to go faster

'COME ON!' he ordered, within seconds we were in the foie we had been stood in not so long ago Sookie screamed as she tripped up over an obliterated vampire solider, he scooped her up running her vamp speed into the lift and pushed the button. I hesitated in a moment of madness and froze in the middle of the hall way.

'Pam get In' He roared, I can't hold the lift for long' I looked at him shaking my head

'I'm Sorry' I said backing up 'I can't leave him…I'm so sorry' I said

'Pam!' Eric roared about to come out of the confined space but the elevator door shut, I breathed heavily looking around and then feeling outright fear.

 **Hi guys hope you enjoyed this chapter sorry for the delay x and please review with ideas enjoy your evening x**


	14. Chapter 14

Eric

The lift door shut on me and Pam disappeared behind it, I had never felt so…anxious (and i was never anxious) for her in my one hundred years of her being by my side. What was she doing? Did she have a death wish? This was more than dangerous and this was not her proving some silly point either she was serious, the lift began moving and I punched the button for the first floor immedialty over and over,

'Eric' Sookie nagged 'Eric we cannot go back for her we have to leave it's not safe here' I ignored her continuing to press the button,

'Eric' Sookie yelled 'Stop it! it's to late she's gone' Sookie shrieked thumping me on the back.

'No!' I roared 'I am not leaving without her she's not gone...not yet and…She's my progeny. you can't really expect me to abandon her again can you?-' It was then the lift stopped and the light's went from a sunshine yellow to a dim blue.

'Fuck' I cursed looking up at the steel ceiling,

'what do we do' Sookie burst looking around and then gripped my shirt, shaking me.

i blanked her completelty still pressing the button while eagly gawking up towards the ceiling 'shut up sookie' I said under my breath. Quiet enough so that her human ears couldn't hear.

' Eric!- Sooke moaned- We have to go please?' the faerie quizzed making me spin around in anger,

'IM NOT LEAVING WITHOUT HER! - I roared punching a dent in the steel wall,

'Ok ok fine but what about alcide then?' sookie blusted 'are we gonna save him as well?... because if we don't you do know Pam will hate you...she'll never forgive you' Sookie replied coily

'I gritted my teeth at the thought of Pam loving someone else...some one that wasn't me...

'She'll come to forgive me- I stated stubbornly my own selfish jeolousy clouding mY better judgement- she always does' I said

'Not this time Eric' Sookie probed 'She loves him as you love me and-

'I don't give a fuck about alcide' I interjected spinning around vamp speed and grabbing sookie by both arms knowing it would leave a painful bruise but sookie was the least of my concerns right now 'I really couldn't care less if the fucker dropped dead on the spot' Sookie stared at me in shock for a few seconds before speaking.

'What about what she did to me' Sookie blurted I clenched my right fist in annoyance releasing my grip on her arms then turning away striding back towards the buttons,

'We'll talk about that later' I said making an uncomfortable silence between us...

'Eric?' the faerie breathed her voice was irratating and obnioux something i really wished i couldve avoided. I continued to press the buttons, and heard her take a step towards me I rolled my eyes. tensing every muscle in my body.

'What?' I asked irritated Sookie was silent for a long moment before she spoke once again,

'do You still love her' she asked in an almost an accusing tone, I stopped pressing the button, froze sighing needlessly,

'She's my child' I stated I obviously feel protective of her I admitted

'No- Sookie hissed bouncing nervously on her heels- do you want her...do you like want to sleep with her?' Sookie quizzed her voice cracking on the last bit'

'Look sookie we don't have time for this…Are you going to help or not?' I quizzed turning around my mind recalling what had happened between Pam and I five months ago I pushed the thought out my mind hoping that sookie hadn't figured it out',

'Okay' she nodded her hand suddenly lighting up as the light graced her finger tips.

Pam pov

I stared at the dark foyerfeeling fear. Fear because my eye's were not adapting to the dark like they usually did and i couldnt see shit so I would have to feel my way around the room, not or rather whos remains i would trip and slip over I put my hands out into the darkness walked a little and then bumped into something solid. I ran my hands against the solid object, the bumpy bits of uncovered wall paper leaving scrapes on my hands, I pushed off the wall making tracks towards the hall way I had just left from. quietly I slunk back into the dark room catching sight of alcide who was still on the floor Bill was nowhere to be seen so I rushed to his side,

'Alcide?' I whispered quietly 'come on get up we have to leave' I rushed getting onto my hands and knees then taking his hand in mine… _Alcide_ No reply I was met with another defending silence, I fell quite for a second shaking my head my mind not quite processing what I knew had happened,

'Alcide?' I tried finally again finding my voice, it came out choked and dry and pathetic 'Please don't do this' I said looking over his pale features his eyes wereclosed as if he were sleeping which makes the situation worse. and one hundred times more painful.

'Please dont- I begged my voice breaking on last bit I put my hand over my mouth to stifle the scream i felt climbing up my throat and felt icy tear's run down my face, if I were human I would be able to hear my heart hammering against my chest all the way up to my head, I then realised I was holding my remaining breath, and let go of my mouth feeling the air ease out of my lungs, my head suddenly snapped up when I heard something crack behind me and I spun around, standing to my feet there was no one in the room but I could sense someone I could almost hear the room breathing, I ignored it…getting back onto my knee's leaning forward and kissing Alcide's cold lips.

'No' I breathed 'oh my god' and In that split second I stopped caring about everything, I mean everything, Bill, Eric the Baby, EVERYTHING I looked over alcide's pale corpse and melted to lie down next to him, my arms winding around his Pale form and, He was cold colder than me All his warmths, all his sunshine had gone there was nothing left I cried quietly and whispered my goodbyes because as much as I wanted to stay I had no choice but to leave, my life was at risk and the babys life was to. I stood to my feet a second time, taking a few steps backwards back into the hallway my vision still fixed on Alcide, until I again entered the dark blue tunnel of the Authorities head quatres where i then began a slow pace down it my arms wound around my stomach protectively as the tears flowed freely down my face making me probably appear to be much younger than I really was, probably a little younger than alcide was and-

-CRACK- I stopped dead in my tracks freezing where I was and looking around

'Stop Eric this isn't funny- I began but then released and remembered Eric had gone and Bill where was Bill, where was he?, my blue eyes flew around the room adapting to the darkness and to the shadows until they fixed on one particular one I squinted my eyes staring down the long hallwalk and caught sight of a silhouette standing at the end of it, The figure made me jump and I slowly backed away trying my best to watch were I stepped. The heel of my foot hit something sharp and made a sicking crack and then-snap- my head snapped backed towards where shadow bill had been standing and I cursed myself shakily he was…Gone gone! I panned my eyes in blind Panic…where was he where did he go? Where was he!?... and then I saw him around three metres away from me; I stopped cold as we locked eyes and the power radiating through his eyes was so intense that it disabled me to move. this was going to get real, real quick if i did not escape, and I had to get out...now! I attempted to back away,

'STOP!' I yelled in warning, hoping by some miricle he would snap out it.

'DON'T COME ANY CLOSER- I didnt even get to finish that sentence because in a split second, in the blink of an eye Bill was infront of me, he let out a vicious inhuman growl that echoed off of the walls and into all the other rooms i opened my mouth shocked at the sound that resembled a demon and within seconds, Bill billith or whoever the hell it was launched himself at me just launched with everything he had, slammed up to me and we were thrown off the trail into the room where the elevator was, and landed two three feet out of the hall, we snapped two three four glasses and pictures, computers you name it and I hit the ground with a loud gutted scream, Billith gripped my throat, holding on so tight that he could have broken bones, and that was what he was doing...crushing the life out of me, I opened my mouth in silent scream before I felt his fangs slice into my neck, I yowled louder in a mixture of shock and fear fighting with everything i had to get him off!, (what was he doing? why was he feeding from me?)

'Eric!' I screamed feeling Bill literally draining me with all his power, I heard movement inside the lift and felt brief hope but screamed again when his fangs scraped ruffly against my jugler, I lifted my arms feeling for his face and when I found his eye'sI dug my nails into them, feeling the moist wetness of his eyeballs (gross) Bill howled withdrawing his fangs from me with a his off pain, he the lifted me up by the throat. then smashing my back against the hard floor with the speed of a moving train, my vision went to a hazy black and i relaxed the vision of bill becoming hazy, my hearing completely faltering, I could hear Bill rupturing into his wrist and then felt him force his uper arm against my mouth, I gagged and wriggled in shock my vision coming back completely as i tasted the bitter richness of his blood Lilith's blood, I screamed and spluttered trying desperately to get him off me, and then within second's the lift burst open, Bill was gone and the place…was on FIRE.I rolled over onto my side coughing and crying whispering nonsense to myself due to the complete shock of the situation.

I cried still muttering and looking around the room until I felt arm's wind around me pulling me up off of the floor I thought against the intruder with everything I had, I thought with everything, but then I realised the Intruder was hugging me, I soon realised it was Eric and hugged him pulling him closer against me, I whimpered trembling.

'Eric…we need to leave' The faerie moaned 'QUICK'

Eric looked me over checking I was okay before turning his attention onto sookie I pushed away from him folding my arms and braced myself against the wall,

'Okay' He said I leaned my forehead onto the wall squeezing my eyes shut and inhaled a needless shaky breath 'Pam?...' Eric quizzed I contined to stared at the peeled concrete

'Pam!' he said again snapping me out of my dreamy haze I looked at him in the eye turning around, 'Let's go' he said taking my hand in his and then leading me down towards the stares I remained quiet sookies desperate fearful words turning into a smear of sound. the image of alcides corpse flashed through my mind wrecking me with guilt and I blacked out completely it was as if the whole world had sped up I only remembered elements of going down loads of stares and finding a concrete door, and then we were down inside some crusty old school car park I looked around the dark car park, my eye's still red with tears that I had been holding in had been saving for later if that made any sense., Sookie rushed towards a black suv unlocking and opening the door to the passenger side, she was inside faster than I could, blink, Eric practically shoved me into the backseat, I hit the first seat with a weak grunt and then slid up, looking at Sookie's reflection in the wind mirror, she had her hand wrapped around her crusifix in a pathetic attempt to prey, I blearly looked towrds her and then towards Eric, who vamp speed entered the drivers side, he fired up the engine instanly fast and i closed my eye's burying my head into my knees for the first time in one hundred years feeling complete pressure and stress.

 **hi guys sorry for the delay I've had lots of school work but next chapter should b up soon I ain't quitting hope u enjoy? And review cheers PS please summit ideas xxx please XD**


	15. Chapter 15

ten minuets later

Tara, Jessica, jason and the brunette hoped into the the car Tar made sure she was sat next to me,

'Bill?' Jessica quizzed Sookie shook her head, the red head looked towards the Sookie sadly and then sat down,

'And what about alcide?' Tara quizzed Eric stared at me in the view mirror and I squeezed my eyes shut almst flinching at her words. 'He didn't make it' I stated dryly trying desperatly to compose my voice.

'I...I'm so Sorry' Sookie shot out her voice breaking on the last part I sucked in a breath held it and then let it out i felt as if i had been punched in the stomach , 'We should go; said a british drool i closed my eyes leaning my head against the window and felt the fetus kick.

'

* * *

the car began to leave, but I was to far gone to care about anything...about bill, the blood, the strange brunette of whom i had never met before, nothing really mattered now because alcide was dead...and it was my fault...I knew now that I couldnt possibly keep this baby because, everything I loved and cared about went, It happened with conrad, it had happened with eric...It happened with alcide and soon it would happen with my son...and i couldnt allow that. my attention was soon drawn back to the others when the radio announced a live translation from the goveners mansion, Eric made the sound higher and Everyone was quiet.

we listened to the speech, and I sat bleary eyed and wavered a little where I sat numb unlike everybody else who was growing annoyed and repulsed by the idea of having to stay inside during the nights and even more so by the idea of having to close fangtasia, it was then i heard the brunette speak.

'we did this...we bombed the factories, bombed the authority we've turned the whole world against us now theres now one left to protect us' she was addressing Eric. obviously her hand was on his shoulder, i suddenly found my eyes glued to her hand which was on my makers shoulder, so casually touching him. he despised being touched when not during sex. even then he would sometimes binde the girls he fucked...I was the only exception. beside Sookie of course. we were the only two people whose touch he welcomed...the others...

but this woman was touching him this strange unknown female and he not only didn't stop her, he welcolmed her. he was actually okay with it, comforted by it and-...my thoughts stopped abruptyly-

when i felt a something happen to me...something weird it almost felt like a pop in my lower adomin...and it hurt...I looked around seeing if anyone else had seen the expression of fear that crossed my face it or heard it rather but no one had.

I sucked in a sharp shaky gasp and held my adomin wincing, Tara must've figured out something was wrong because she turned her head to look at me. I diverted eye contact biting my inner gum.

'Pam?' She quizzed out loud I hadn't even realised I had been sucking in desperate needless breaths but I had and as soon as I realised I had I stopped and smiled at everyone embarrassed great now everyone's attention was on me. I looked down at my lap swallowing thickly.

'Pam?' Said Eric's deep masculine voice my head shot up, I could see him watching me in the wind mirror as I could feel the others watching me.

'Are you okay?' my progeny asked eyeing my adomin, my eyes snapped towards her widely And I smiled forcely mustering up a nod.

'Sure (nothings okay anymore,alcides gone Eric hates Mr...I'm pregnant everything's peachy) ' I rushed brightly I could see Jessica watching me from beside Jason as if I had gone mad...I practically had.

'Pam are you sure your okay I mean alcides just died and/

'Jessica' tara warned cutting across her.'

'I'm...I'm okay im just pissed if that suit comes near me or any of my shit- I began with force enthusiasm

'will you shut up about your shit when the world is about to end' the brunette rudely interupted, turning around and glaring at me with one clapt look on her face.I growled unwardly and clenched my fists. In a mixture of annoyance and agony.

'Honey...i ...don't know about the world- I said struggling to get my words together as my mouth was now juddering- but I'm about to end your face' i said shaking violently it was then I felt the car swerve in about a 90 degree angle and I winced smaking my head against the seat.

'Nora I need a word- Eric demanded- Privately- he added' I bit my lip staring at the pair of them and then watched as they exitted the car, so her name was Nora...OK but who was she, I shifted feeling uncomfortable again and bit my lip forcing the door open.

'Eric...Eric?' I quizzed racing towards my makers tall form. 'who is she?' I quizzed trying my hardest to push alcide to the back of my mind and ignoring the weird liquid that was soaking my jeans,

'she's my sister' Eric stated after a breif heisitation suddenly sounding cold again...like before at the bar, and it shocked me he turned his back on me once again and headed in "nora's Lora's or whatever the hell her name was direction" .

I stood still for a second sucking in a sharp breath and then held my adomin, quickly Removing my hand and letting it drop to my side when Nora turned around to face Eric.

'In over one hundred year's you never thought to tell me you have a sister'-

'Any reason to?' He quizzed harshly my mouth hung open and I stood in complete shock. Watching as he strided away. I raced after him a second time.

'After spending my entire life with you...you've lied to me over and over again how can you. How can you be so...cruel' I asked gripping his arm. He spun around grabbing my hand in a almost crushing grip. I tried to twist it free but he only held it tighter.

"If Bill's out there, he may be coming for us the state of Louisiana basicly just declared was against us." -he said quickly, as if he was annoyed by my behavior. – "This is time." My mouth dropped open and I screamed at him,

'ERIC ALCIDE JUST DIED AND IM SURE ITS BECAUSE OF HER! IF SHE-

'get over it and have my back or get out of my face' he yelled shoving me backwards vamp speed, I let out a shocked sound as my back and head hit the HARD concrete floor. What the hell was that...what had I done? I stared up at him in shocked silence holding the back of my head as he towered over me. he eyed me coldly before storming off after Nora. I heard footsteps running towards me but continued to stare after him.

'pam are you ok?' Tara asked lifting me up under my arms until i was again on my feet, I hastly shook her off and then frowned at her kindness...'I'm fine' I rushed staring after Eric and Nora. Down towards bump. And then took off towards the beach.

* * *

"…get out of my face."

I trusted him. I trusted him above everything. I was always proud of our relationship, thinking it was deeper and stronger than any other maker-progeny relationships. Just like the relationship between Eric and Godric. It wasn't like that though, as it turns out. He lied to me. All these years…he leaded me to believe he was sharing his life with me, telling me his darkest secrets and deepest desires. In reality, he had told me only what he thought i wanted to hear would Godric have done that to Eric? I highly doubted it.  
I kept asking myself why he didnt trust me. All my life, everything i'd ever done, was obeying his orders and following his lead. I was shocked the night he came to me, demanding I revealed where Russell Edgington was. Accusing me of  
digging him up. He threatened me and pressed me into the table, his hand tight on my throat, snarling at me.

There surely were times when he lost his temper with me. I was no angel, after all. But he never ever treated me like that. He'd asked me what he wanted with a voice like honey, threatening a punishment if I lied. But telling him the truth seemed like a second nature to me. (the pregnancy was the only thing i had ever kept from him and that's how it had to stay) The only times I lied were when I wanted to tease him, or when the promised punishment seemed especially… sinful. But that night when he came after the long disappearance was the first time he actually used physical power. It was also the first time I was actually... afraid of him.  
I tthought may be that it was because of the time he spent within the Authority I mean I had gone through it over and over in that cell and What Jessica had told me was pretty much sounding like a nest. So I hoped he changed because of that. Because of the blood that was making him stronger, but at the same time more aggressive and sadistic.  
Now, however, that was no longer the option. A better theory was that, now that he found Nora again, no doubt after he hadn't seen her in a long time, he felt sort of nostalgic about the past. And I was not part of his past. I was his present.  
I stepped through the sand, closer to the seashore, and sat down quickly when i felt a sickening cramp at the bottom of my adomin, not caring about my designer jeans right now. They were already ruined anyway. Tara had followed me down the to the beach I was sure of that and was beside me within seconds.

"You know, love doesn't have to be a competition between you and someone else…" – she began, and bloody tears spilled down from my eyes.

'I don't want his love' I Said hugging my knees well trying to, 'He left me...his defending that bitch nora and she let alcide die its her fault and he doesnt care about me so why do I still care about him'

'you know thats not true' Tara stated taking hold of my hand I moved my hand away, and scooted further away from her cradling my hand against me chest. I felt uncomfortable at the thought of someone else knowing my emotions. The only one with whom I always could share my every emotion was Eric. But then again, Eric was my 'only one' in many many senses.  
"Piss off!" – I said (my British accent coming to life as it always did when I was upset), unsure about how to act. When I understood Tara wasn't going anywhere, I added, a little harsher – "I mean it. Tara!"  
But she still sat there.  
"No, you don't. You just don't want me to see you crying..and don't try to blame it on hormones because you have been through hell today."

"I'm not crying!" – I exclaimed. Then, only after a few seconds, added – "Well, I'm crying! but so what if i am I have just lost one of the many people i care about the most!"  
Tara came closer and threw her hand around my shoulder, trying to comfort me.

my child. i kept wondering if it would be the same with us as is it was with me and Eric. What if we spend a century together, maybe more, and then one day Tara learns it had all been a lie? What if i make the same mistake as Eric? What if she'd be forced to witness the relationship we'd built crumble in front of her eyes? Will she hate her progeny then? Will she hate her maker? Did he? Did Eric hate me? i could not stand the thought of it.  
Tara's touch was comforting, and soon i found i was feeling better. At least i knew if i left Eric i wouldn't be alone. Yet, the thought was still liquid pain for me.  
When i finally calmed down and washed away the tears, and we headed towards the others, wondering what were they were doing in our absence. However, what we found was surely not what we had been expecting. Nora was on the bridge, her back to me, her hands up in surrender. Jason was right in front of her, pointing a gun at Nora and throwing a tantrum about vampires "brainraping" him against his will. I smirked lightly and then glanced at Eric. He stood some distance away behind Nora, confident as ever, fangs drawn, ready to defend her, if necessary. I watched him, a look of pure possession on his face (he had never looked at me that way). The message it held was clear: 'Don't you dare touch what is not yours. Do so and it will be the last thing you do.' I didn't even doubt he would be long since dead if he was not Sookie's brother.  
I used to be jealous of Sookie. Now that seemed childish to me. Sookie, while important to Eric, was still a human, even if not entirely human. The fact was, she shared nothing with Eric. A few blood exchanges were not enough to build a connection time was able to. Time was Sookie's disadvantage, because, while Sookie knew Eric for a few years, I did for a hundred. There was a lot we'd been through, together, a lot of things that bound us (the pregnancy our son). Nora, however, was entirely different. I could see she was important to Eric, and I assumed they've been through a lot together, too. Nora was a far better reason to be jealous.  
The conflict ended when Sookie stepped in, protecting Nora from Jason with her body. I thought 'this is gonna be good- and then came that horrible cramp again, the one beneth my stomach,- I faltered a little and nearly fell down but held my composure'  
and then Jessica began screaming that Bill was calling her, and when Eric held her so she could not go, she began feeling great pain. Finally, Sookie said she'd get her to Bill. Eric agreed. Tara wanted to go, too, but before I could stop her, Eric did. He caught her ponytail, and returned her to my side, gentler than he would if she would have not been my progeny. She didn't notice it, however, as he spoke.  
"Take your progeny back to Fangtasia. We'll come right behind."  
I understood, of course, that he wanted to go to Bill, in case Sookie and Jessica needed help. A wave of fear swept through me, along with a little bit of hurt, because he trusted Nora, and not me, to go with him (not that i could in my current condition). I pushed it aside, however. It was dangerous for him to go. His safety was the priority. my feelings would have to wait.

I watched Eric with his vampire sister and moved to talk to him, 'Eric please don't do this i begged' /

'Get out of my way Pam' He said sternly his voice was cold, angry, and ... pissed  
I obeyed immediately, stepping aside, my heart breaking into tiny pieces. 'What happened to him?' 'How many ways do i have to say it' He said under his breath, I gasped watching him swaggered away and then folded my arms over my waist,

'Fine' I muttered, watching as they took to the skies.( Eric and Nora)

we stayed silently there, the two of us – me and Tara.

"What do we do now?" – Tara asked after a long silence.  
"We go to Fangtasia" – I answered quickly, without even the briefest hesitation.  
No one spoke for a few minutes, then Tara broke the silence.  
"He really is an asshole. You don't have to do as he says, you know."  
I smiled. Of course I had to. Whatever happened, however he changed, no matter how much times he released me and told me to get out of his sight, I would still obey his orders. my blood called me to do so. But so did my soul.  
we took the car back to fangtasia and got there in 40 minutes.

* * *

"Eric released you" – Tara said, following me through the front door. – "I don't get it why you keep taking orders from him…"  
"That's right!" – I replied. – "You don't get it."

"Hey… I know what it's like to be betrayed by someone you trust the most. But, sometimes, it takes losing some shit to make room for something new. It's just you and me now, right? So, fuck Eric!  
I kept my back to her considering what she had just said, but she took my silence the wrong way

"You wanna be Eric Northman's punching bag for the rest of eternity? That's up to you. But Im not gonna sit back and let whatever's happening happen!" – Tara yelled Storming back towards the door as if the conversation ended. I felt her rage, so sharp it practically dripped from my words as I spoke.

"Do what you want TARA(I scream back my hormones getting the better of me) BUT DONT BLAME ME WHEN YOU END UP DEAD LIKE ALCIDE!" – I yelled my voice cracking on the last part  
Tara smiled, a sad smile on her full lips.  
"Im sorry that happened but your not going to change my mind" I felt desperation cloud inside me

'Tara please I can not handle anything right now and I certainly cannot handle losing someone else i care about its to dangerous you didnt see what happened in that room what he turned into what he did to- I said stopping myself the expression on Tara's face changed from rigid and pissed to cold.

'Im sorry Pam but I've made up my mind...they may need my help' She said and vamp speed she left I gasped and braced myself against the bar top...I had lost everyone and everything I loved this was screwed up everything was soo screwed up nothing made sense anymore. I bit my lip and walked away , heading for my… his office.

When i i entered I retreived the suitcase I had packed earlier and began zipping in up up my movements were a blur to the human eye, but then I heard something I stopped abruptly and listened closely it sounded like a dripping tap? I looked around frowning slightly and sniffled, I heard it again then looked up nothing... but when I looked down I saw drooplets of red just were my feet met...I frowned confused and then felt the most agony i had ever felt in my life, I held my adomin and then clapsed to the floor with a gasp.

'Tara' I screamed gripping my stomach my face contorting in Pain as I could barely move,

'Ginger;' I yelled as one thought shot to my mind I was losing it...I was miscarrying my baby and then the world turned to an inky foggy black...

 **hey hope u enjoyed this chpt nxt chapter will b posted asap please review. Leave ideas and comment. Happy reading xxx**


	16. Chapter 16

Tara p.o.v

I rushed to bills mansion which took me exactly half an hour and when i got there, it was full tilt madness, I emerged from the woods sticking to the shadows and moving in the direction of the big white mansion (the compton estate) , but i then stopped when i felt a sharp...SHARP pain in the centre of my chest...Pam...something was wrong...something was really really wrong, but i was to angry to care, it couldnt have been as bad as what was happening infront of my eye's right now and she was probably just feeling sorry for herself like she always did probably slit her wrists again...oh well ginger would help her out once she got there.

I stood still by a tree observing the scene before my eye's, Nora flew towards bill and he vamp speed tossed her to the floor like she was nothing but a paper weight and as soon as bill was distracted, Eric attacked, Vamp speed with a white oak stake which according to legend could kill gold like vampires or was it old vampires i didnt know, but Bill was ready for that as well, He pinned eric against the railing holding him in a tight grip by the throat, which was a shock to see since Bill was a good nine hundred years younger than Eric, Sookie screamed in disaproval and launched herself into Bill's direction driving the stake into where his heart was located,

the baby vampire known as jessica let lose a yell...it wasnt even words just a yell of pure fear with a mixture of angst, and before I knew it i was on the scene, my foot on the upper step, I froze watching bill, everyone eyed him in disbelief, it was one of those what the hell type moments or oh my god, I diverted my vision to sookie who was now breathing heavily due to the shock of what had just occured.

Bill bared fangs and gasped for air as he gripped the wooden stak, freeing it slowly from his chest it slid out with no ease what so ever, and everyone watched the wound in his chest heel up, my eyes widened and I looked at Eric, his eyes read the shock i emotionally felt.

'Now can we talk?' Bill quiered strutting away from eric to stand by the door, Bill shifted his vision to where eric stood nodded his head and in less that a second Eric's fangs snapped back up into his gums, Nora causiously strode towards eric,

'I brought you here tonight so you could see for yourself's I am no monster, I do not wish any of you harm but if you force me to defend myself again- he said turning his head towards sookie his southern accent alot heavier than usual- you will be sorry' He said nodding

'What are you?' Sookie quizzed/

'Are you lillith?' Nora quizzed cutting straight across sookie Bill rose an eyebrow and turned his head slowly to look at her,

'I am bill compton but clearly I am something more' He answered their questions again looking at Eric- 'I see that now' He added

'I see everything so differently now' He said Eyeing sookie spitefully, I watch the hurt cross through my best friends eyes as she swallowed thickly,

'The fear in your eyes- he said Approaching the three of us- I know i put that there' he said to jessica,

Eric and nora exchanged looks behind him,

'But i promise you...the man who did that to you is gone'

'That's right- Sookie mustered out steam leaving her mouth due to the cold- Bill compton is gone...he died...i felt it' She stated 'So whatever the hell you are...if you really mean us no harm then prove it stay away from jessica and all of us, leave bon temps tonight and never, come back' sookie said swallowing tears./

'No' Jessica shot over her she bent down dropping the wooden strake and causiously walked towards bill moving past sookie and I 'Bill is staying and so am I' she announced I moved towards her putting a hand on her shoulder but she sookie me off 'Your the ones who should leave' Sookie shook her head coming to stand next to her.

'Jess i am not leaving you with-/

'His my maker you will never understand' Jessica yelled stubbornly over her,

'this is not Bill!' Sookie shouted

'You don't know that you cant know that None of you know anything all you wanna do is kill and ask questions later you told me that you loved him and you tried to stake him' Jessica spoke fast rounding on Sookie as she did 'How could you?' There was a breif moment of heisitation as the two females locked eyes sookie looked up at jessica teary eyed and breaved fastly, 'This clearly annoyed jessica, because a gutterl growl erupted from her chest, her fangs burst free, Eric snarled doing the same ready to defend sookie if it came down to it. Bill eyed eric.

'I want you to get out...now!' Jessica warned I watched her and then shifted feeling my chest tighten

'Please don't do this' Sookie begged attempting to touch jessica, the redhead slapped her had away making Eric growl a second time.

'I said get out' She yelled sookie stepped back crying ' all of you' she said looking at Eric he growled at her and this angered bill/ Billith

'You heard her' Bill warned 'get out' He ordered and with that the hole building and ground began shaking. you didnt have to tell me twice I was off within seconds, Looking backwards, I saw Nora shove Eric down the stairs he grabbed hold off sookie shoving her off of the porch and off of the compton estate and I went back to meet them feeling...weak?

* * *

Before I knew it we were all stalking back towards sookie's house Nora and I were shocked into a stunned silence and all we could do was listen to Eric and Sookie converse

'I got money- Eric announced-enough for you to go where ever you want start a new life...away from here'

'There is no point- Sookie admitted- Ive had bills blood...lots of it if he wants me he'll find me' Sookie stated looking over to Eric there was a moment of silence before speaking again

'you staked bill...to save me- oh bloody hell here we go- I never expected that from you' He said looking over to Sookie,

'I never expected it from myself...bills not the only one whos changed my life its so different from how i thought it would turn out im not who i thought id turn out to be'

Sookie stopped on the step turning around to face Eric,

nora and I stopped behind him

'well to me you'll always be that girl in the white dress' He admitted Sookie smiled ' the one who walked into my bar' he stated they regared eachother for a long moment be for eric spoke holding up the keys,

'I got it' he said walking up the steps and towards the door I stared at Sookie and she turned around as he unlocked the door, and the two of them disapeared inside,

Nora turned to me and spoke 'what's going on with those two?' She quizzed looking towards me I stared at her for a moment before answering 'Its complicated' I replied making to walk off but stopped when she made a snide remark about MY maker.

'So i take it his grown tired of Pamela' She said bitchly I could practically hear the smile that had formed on her face I spun around glaring at her

'wow Pam was right about you...you really are a british bitch- I said quoteing my maker Nora smiled bareing fangs-

'well honey its the truth- Eric always did this when we were with godric picked up something new chewed it up and then spat it out...he just decided to keep this one for longer' she smirked I clenched my fists growing angry.

' and what does that make you?' I quizzed

'His sister...the one person he'll never get tired of' she stated proudley ' i should slap you silly for questioning that'

'well that's were your wrong because pam...' I stopped myself remembering what Pam had said and then released i hadnt felt anything from her with the space of forty minuets...'Pam' I said again feeling an empty aching feeling in my chest' I looked up to see Eric out side of sookies house and frowned staring at him,

Nora glared at me and then moved towards her vampire brother, she teased him about sookie and we all soon left the stackhouse estate.

* * *

it didnt take long until we were outside of fangtasia, and when we were Eric opened the door, all three of us entered and i folded my arms looking around for Pam...I couldnt feel her but i knew she was here her heels were still beneath the bar where she had probably kicked them off.

'Pam?' I called out looking around the bar, nothing had changed much since earlier except the air...maybe the atmosphere i was picking up this odd smell it smelt like...honey and metal? like wtf I looked around striding down the bar and stopped when I was in the middle of the bar just by the stage.

'where is she?' Eric quizzed from behind me his voice was cold and heartless...once again.

'probably off somewhere feeling sorry for herself' Nora cut in stripping out of her coat and then dumping it onto the stool which was behind her, she turned towards me smiling and I shot her a confused look in return,

'Right Tara...-she said brightly- Why don't you and I get to know eachother, you can tell me more about Pam along the way...Ive already heard alot about her from Eric, but lets see what you think of her' I frowned but followed her leed something told me there was no saying no to this woman,

* * *

Eric Pov

I watched as my vampire granddaughter and my vampire sister left the bar and as soon as they were gone I began setting up, I decided we would open tonight, reason being because i was eric northman and nobody human nor vampire told me what to do, the bar was a shithole as nora had just said but it was nothing Pam couldnt clean up, smirking to myself I walked up the stairs towards me throne and slumped into it...something i had done a mere day ago but i never missed the feeling of being completely superior to the humans and other vampires and that wouldnt change all because of some fucking governer, my thoughts were interupted when i heard movement from inside the office and my fangs shot out ready to attack.

* * *

Pam

everything seemed blurry and groggy and my ears rung, and after about a minuet everything seemed to come into focus, I felt something warm and wet dripping down my thighs and it soaked through everything i wore, I ran my hands over my partiucally swollen adomin and felt the material of my sweater clinging to me, lifting my arm up my eyes focused on my hand looking at the red liquid that stained it ; not quite regerstering what it was,why was I on the ground why was my hand red and why was I wet, gripping the desk I made to heave myself up but fell back down (dragging the phone down with me) when I felt a sharp shooting Pain in my stomach, I gasped in agony snatching the Phone and vamp speed Dialing for Lorains number,

' **hello**?' she picked up on the first ring

'h-h-hi' I shivered holding the phone in a crushing grip I squeezed my eyes shut when another wave of pain contracted through me

' **pam ive been trying to reach you all night i think i may know whats/**

'C-C Come now. come now..- I panicked- you have to come quick' i groaned my breathing turning heavy

' **Why whats wrong...Pam?'  
** loraine drowned me in questions, I rolled my eyes with what little strengh i had left

'Theres alot of red and Im all wet and uggghhh- I cut off dropping the phone and letting out a long agonised cry of pain, what was happing i keeled over putting my arms around my head and curling into a ball attempting to find some sort of comfort...it didnt work god was i losing it was was i losing the baby?-

suddenly the door burst open the riggs holding it together giving way instantly, but i was in to much agony to acknowledge who it was, I whined and cried rocking back and forth hoping that by some mircle doctor ludwig had flown here,

' Pamela?' I heard a deep masculine voice I turned my head slowly drawing in breaths, I caught sight of Eric standing around a meter away from me fangs bared, and gripped my hair...hard.

'Eric? i thought you were at sookies?' I said trying to sound as normal as possible.

'Pam' he said edging closer towards me and then quicker than i could blink he was on his knees in front of me his fingers tracing my back, I shied away from his touch frowning and gripping my top in my blood hand.

'why are you bleeding?- he demanded- were you attacked' I shut my eyes feeling a wave of pain corcade over me and dug my nails into my scalp so hard it should of drawn blood, I felt his eyes on me and ,I gritted my teeth

'im fine god damn it' I breathed

'whats going on' he asked I shook my head pressing my lips together in a thin line he stared at me in silence his expression unreadable

'Its...nothing...stop asking questions

'tell me' He gritted out firmly

'I stopped abruptly breathing heavily, because the horrible pain i had felt less than a second ago... was now gone it had stopped everything had stopped even the bleeding, i let out a quick breath then sat up slowly withdrawing a breath and looking towards my maker.

'I...Im okay' i said nodding then gathering all my strength got to my feet bracing myself against the desk, i Faltered a little and Eric caught me,

'Im okay!' I hissed again pushing him away...you can go back to sookie now, I said the harshness lacing my tone as it did his earlier.

'Pam' He demanded I ignored him, rolling my eyes, and then felt anger flare to life,

' whats wrong' he repeated for the third time stuttering as I attempted to get up

'Stop asking me that...stop asking me that! ' I yelled picking up an empty true blood bottle and then hurling it towards him, he dodged it easily 'YOU DON'T GET TO CARE!...YOU LEFT ME FOR FIVE MONTHS FIVE FUCKING MONTHS STUCK WITH TARA...I DIDNT WANT HER ERIC JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I WANTED YOU HERE WITH ME WHERE YOU SHOULD BE. YOU DIDNT CARE THEN SO WHY DO YOU CARE NOW...WERE DONE YOU MADE SURE OF THAT WHEN YOU RELEASED ME, NOW GET THE FUCK OUT MY WAY' i screamed pushing him towards the door, he wouldn't budge despite my best efforts and i could feel my feet slipping against the floor I let go lowering my eyes in defeat.

'Just tell me whats wrong' he growled grabbing my wrists i huffed and thought against his grip until he release it knowing there was no getting out of this, staring into his eyes i grumbled inwardly

'No' I said stubbornly and then the door opened a second time it wasn't Ludwig however it was tara and nora...Ugh nora, I clenched my fist spinning around and then grabbed my suitcase off of the table, storming past them struggling to keep the clothes inside it from flying out.

'where are you going' Eric urged grabbing my upper arm, I shook myself free staring up at him before yelling

'IM LEAVING YOU'

Shoving past Tara and nora and back into the bar i strode towards the door;opened it but it suddenly it slammed shut, I looked up to see eric towering over me,

'what the hell' I challenged, Nora grabbed the bag from my hand and looked towards my progeny throwing it into her arms,

'YOUR NOT GOING ANYWHERE' Eric barked his harsh tone from earlier returning I frowned

'NOT AFTER TONIGHTS EVENTS' nora finished erics sentence, 'its not safe'

'And you shouldnt be travelling in your condition' Tara blurted out, I froze then turned to look at her with wide eyes,

'Tara' i half breathed half blurted

Eric stepped forward and i could feel him behind me 'What condition?' He inquired towards tara, Tara swallowed thickly then looked towards me I knew what she was about to do but before I could command her not to say anything she had already started her sentence

'Pam' is-' she busted out I stared towards her feeling utter betrayal/

'Tara don't do this' I warned staring at her

'I'm sorry but i can't let you leave. not with billith out here he needs to know' Tara interrupted me coming forward to stand in front of me

'whats wrong?' Nora quizzed form behind her I stared to Nora and then Tara

'Are you sick Pam?... are-

'She's pregnant...' Tara deadpanned out pointedly toward Eric squeezing her eyes shut, I clenched my jaw feeling my heart sink and a defening silence fleeted the room as all sets of eyes feel on me ...

'what?' Eric asked his harsh tone disappearing completely as he spun me around to face him before i could go for Tara. I tensed every muscle in my body in fuming anger.

I remained silent swallowing the lump that had formed in my throat, there was a brief pause before Nora jumped in,

'That's impossible' Nora stated folding her arms 'vampires...they can't they-

'I know it sounds crazy' Tara broke in once again 'but its the truth, the witch...Marnie she did something well we think and jesus she cant even fit into her bloody corsets anymore (i growled at that turning my head to look at her cheers for that tara)-

'Its not true' I cut in coldly

'Pam' Tara said shocked at my dishonesty she looked towards Eric, and then Nora her mouth hanging slightly open.

Eric gave Nora the look to get Tara out of the room and Nora obeyed taking my progeny by the arm and leading her towards ground. Once the other two were gone it was more or less awkward I stood there picking bag up off of the floor. Eric stopped me his hand coming between mine and the handle of the bag I glared up at him and then released it out of my grasp.

...'what?' I asked looking up at him before wriggling uncomfortably under his gaze his blue eyes were fixed onto my similar ones making it impossible for me to concentrate on anything else and I had no choice but to look him in the eye.

...what does she mean?' He demanded towering over me I felt my stomach churn and finally looked away.

'none of your buisness' I muttered defensively placing both hands on my hips 'and since when do you-

'How far along are you"/ he cut across me I opened my mouth taken slightly question then sighed answering him.

'Eric. . . it isnt true okay- i snorted- tara is full off crap she's trying to stop me from leaving and-

'Come here' Eric demanded i rolled my eyes going closer towards him and swallowed hard as he studied me and then my stomach, what was he playing at.

'im gonna ask you again- he said- how far along are you' He asked my mouth opened then closed, and i sighed in defeat

'A little over three months' i muttered he nodded his head still eyeing me then shot me his next question.

'Is...is it?-/

'No' I lied sharply cutting across him his face was still expressionless and I couldn't tell what he was thinking or feeling there was a long moment of silence before he went on.

'Right well who was he what did he look like...what was he like? do I know him?'

'Who?' I quizzed back frowning at him

'The father' he said the harshness from earlier returning I frowned looking down at my toes,

'I don't know I can't remember' came another lie

'You can't remember who you fucked?' Eric shot out spitefully making me feel like some sort of dirty tramp I shot daggers at him pressing,my lips together in irritation

'And you can?' I snapped rudely 'you know since there's been so many' I heard a growl erupt from Eric's chest and looked to the floor again

'I'm gonna ask you one more time and i want the truth...who is he?' He demanded his voice becoming dark, I felt slight fear tugging at me knowing I would have to tell him the truth.

'I can't remember' I deceived again.

'Describe him were did you meet him was it in bon temps was it here?' Eric seethed I swallowed thickly I fell silent again before answering another jealous question.

' I don't know it was here if you must know and - I yelled

'Your lying' he shouted. 'Tell me the truth Pam' it was then I knew I had no other choice but to and I sighed in defeat giving him a fearful look.

'...its yours' I muttered in a small voice Eric turned his back on me nodding and then picked up one of the true blood bottles smashing it to its destruction on the floor. I opened my mouth in shock.

' AND YOU DIDNT THINK TO TELL ME!' He roared spinning around and towering over me yet again with flare.

'WHAT?!...I even didn't know I only found out a few days ago!- I yelled back in my defense- I only found out a couple of days ago. And even if I did know you chose Sookie and the authority You made your choice and I wouldnt of used this to change or mind or make you stay and you hated me you told me to leave or you'd kill me-/

' you could have said something when we were at the authority-

'No! no I couldn't have you were completely fucked up when you were at the authority and then the way you looked at Sookie when you saw her the love that told me everything i needed to know about how you felt about me. I couldn't screw that up I couldnt im not gonna use this as an excuse to trap you-

'Ok ok pam you listen to me okay?- Eric ground out he sounded more like...himself- none of that matters now okay it doesnt matter- I was taken aback by his sway of mood as he came close towards me placing both of his hands on my adomen-I know i havent been there...but im here now okay?- I looked up at him blearly- and I dont wouldnt want you to ever get rid of the baby because...Im never gonna leave you again Pam...i promise ' He said catching my me off guard with a kiss, I stiffened tensing every bit of my body and waited for him to finish his pathetic bullshit speech and when he did i stared at him bemused. He cupped my cheeks and looked me in the eyes his blue eyes boring into those of my similar ones as he stroked my skin with the pads of his thumbs well he had certainly changed his tune

'say something he urged' a small smile playing on his lips I glared up at him knowing full well this would be the moment i shut him down this would be the moment i would destroy him as he destroyed me and i would relish in it what would he had done if the baby wasnt his huh? well that before i told him was a prime example he would have probably disowned me slung me out i didn't know, i cleared my throat and then spoke.

'Look Eric i dont know what kind of twisted fantasy you have about raising this baby- I said coldly- but thats all it is...a fantasy- I smirked cruelly on seeing the look that crossed his face- okay? I would rather rip my own heart out than do some stupid family bonding with you after everything you've put me through...so let me make this as clear as i can...I dont want to know you...im doing you a favour. eric...okay? I can't reely on you- i breathed- so take a good look because you are never gonna see me again' I said grabbing my bag up and off of the floor,

'its over' I said the tears threatening to spill out of my eyes, my voice coming out unexpectedly choked I held my breath in an effort to stop the tears breaking free and just knew my eyes were rimed with red,

'No Pam it...it doesnt have to be-' eric started attempting to grab my hand i moved it vamp speed towards my where my heart would have once beat and sighed,

'it does...You can't keep me here Eric...Im not happy here so please if you really do love me love me and this baby like you say you do then...Don't try to stop me' I said spotting that Tara and Nora had left the office and then looking towards my progeny 'either of you' And with that i left entering the cold windy night of bon temps once again.

 **hope you enjoyed this update and please review and follow and pleeasse gimme some ideas sorry for the delay and i hope you guys relished in seeing eric get shut down lol :D xxxx**


	17. Chapter 17

Nora pov

Eric was silent...he had been silient for about five hours and there was nothing i could do to break it, i stood outside the office door watching him through the keyhole, He was sat at his desk his mobile phone to his ear im sure ringing Pam for the hundreth time tonight. I rolled my eyes and opened the door it opened with a hiss which caused Eric to looked up as i came in. I folded my arms and rocked on my heels thinking of what to say,

'do you wanna go on the hunt?' I asked,

Eric regarded me for a few seconds ignoring my question I clenched my jaw in anger

'No im fine' he finally said paying me next to no attention we were silent again for a long moment and i couldnt help what i said next my impatience getting the better of me.

'oh for godsake She's gone Eric what are you doing' I asked folding my arms and then leaning my back against the frames door, he payed no attention to me instead dialing the number again.

'Eric' I nagged There was another moment of silence 'SHE'S NOT COMING BACK TO YOU' I yelled stomping my foot in fustration my brother looked up his Blue eyes boring into my similar ones in threat I stood where I was staring at him, feeling hunted, feeling fear...I had pushed him...I had pushed him far this time, but instead of running I stood where I was my arms falling to either side of my body as I held my head up high,

'Eric' I said slowing my tone 'i know you upset...but she's gone...she doesnt want to be here anymore because it's obvious you don't love her in that way , you said that yourself'

'Nora-' Eric warned slowly standing to his feet

'ERIC!- I burst out- YOU DONT LOVE HER'

within seconds he had moved from where he was and I was pinned against the desk, I groaned in agony my hands moving to scratch at his this only made him rage more.

'HER HEADS ALL OVER THE PLACE RIGHT KNOW...SHE DOESNT KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS ' he roarded his grip tightening on my wristes I winced wriggling slightly

'yes she does Eric...god dont be so fucking stupid...she's had enough of you what don't you get...you've let her down so many times...what did you think was happen'

'- SHE'S CARRYING MY CHILD SHE CAN'T LEAVE ME NOW' I stared at him then feeling the rage within me boiling over

'HOW DO YOU KNOW THE CHILDS EVEN YOURS I MEAN YEAH SURE TARA TOLD YOU BUT PAMS SMART...SHE WANTED TO HURT YOU LIKE YOU HURT HER WHOS TO SAY SHE DIDNT COMMAND TARA TO TELL YOU THAT WHOS TO SAY THEY DIDNT MAKEUP THE HOLE THING TO GET BACK AT YOU-

He was silent again releasing his grip on my wrists I tilted my sitting up and then cradling my sore wrist

' I know' he said i tilted my head in confusion

'how' I said the question playing on my lips

Eric opened his mouth to say something well that was until the phone rang, hi piercing blue eyes fixing on the phone he then made to rush towards it... but I snatched it up vamp speed before he could get to it holding it close against my chest.

'give me the phone nora' he demanded holding out his hand i held it tighter stubbornly my baby blue eyes widening in stuborness

'No not until you-

'give me the phone!' he roared forcing me to hand it over he grabbed my hand knewly breaking my fingers as he pryed the phone from my grip and then pressed the still ringing phone to his ear.

'Hello?' he said waiting for a reply he looked bitterly disapointed when it wasn't Pam and clicked his fingers silently getting me to leave I rolled my eyes and then stalked out of the office and into the bar.

* * *

around two mineuts later

eric stormed from his office and towards exit, I watched him my eyes following his every move,

'where are you going?' I quizzed standing out of my seat and watching him he completly blanked me and i repeaed myself

'Eric? i asked, whats wrong he finally answered

'its pam.' he said bluntly

'what about her?' I asked

'She's was at sookies' he replied grabbing Pam's unfinished true blood off of the bar and downing it i eyed him annoyed thinking of what to say to him but he would not listen...I needed his attention but how...and then my mind wondered to the bill situation screw Pam what if she was lying how could i trust her eric had told me she was a coniving bitch when we had been shacked up in the authority.

'Eric...'-I said spinning around in my chair to face him he stopped what he was doing and stared at me...

'what?' he ground out growing fustrated.

'I have something to tell you about Lillith. well bill..''

* * *

pam

i burst out of my vehicle stumbling out onto the grounds of the stackhouse estate...I was starving...I looked around at the trees and then gasped when the scent of fae hit me square in the jaw, my hand flew to cover my nose and mouth within seconds, I couldnt kill sookie as much as i wanted to...I couldnt...I hated her and wanted nothing better than to watch her be ripped to shreds but...you dont always get what you want in this long life I twisted my jaw moving towards the front door vamp speed, hesisting before booting the thing down, i stormed through the house im sure waking every one inside it and before long i could hear sookies feet padding down the stairs, i looked back breifly catching sight of blonde hair and then i rounded on the fridge ripping the door off clean viciously and then throwing the remaining part on the floor,

'Pam?' I heard sookies voice chirp behind me I cruched down(well define cruching) as much as i could fishing through the fridge for blood...anything that would ease the now aching overbaring thirst

'Pam it's 3 o clock in the morning...( i ignored her throwing out bits of food continuing to look) what are you doing?' she continued i squeezed my eyes shut my hand flying to my throat...it was dry...it burnt, the sensation reminded me of being a new born vampire only this was more intense and the only thing i could hear was the sound of sookie's blood roaring pulsing through her veins and i hadnt eaten in days no weeks.

'F-fuck off' I shivered my eyes fixating on the raw meat that sat on the last shelf of the small fridge I didnt think just grabbed it (my mind had somehow generating the ridiculous idea that i could suck the blood from the meat...baby brain) i ripped it free from the plastic confining it,

'Hey' sookie protested making to grab it off me I growled at her im pretty sure resembling golam perfectly my fangs slidding free from my gums and pouncing into the meat...it was cold...it frooze my teeth and it tasted unfamiliar yet weirdly satisfying.

'Get out of my house!' Sookie yelled i looked up at her shocked but yet strangly amused that she had spoken to me in this way i could kill her in seconds her hand shook i could tell she was frightened, I could smells it what did she think i would eat her? pft i was offended by the idea.

'I'll call Eric' she blurted her lip pulling into a thin defensive pout I smirked bitterly picking up the fridge door and messily attempting to place it back in its original spot,

'Your not gonna do that' I said spinning around again to face the little cunt.

'Yes I am' Sookie announced storming into the hallway, grabbing the detachable phone and then dialing his number, i rolled my eyes and then vamp speed i was infront onf her holding her by the throat

'PAM' sookie sculdged out ripping at my hands 'please just get out this isnt your house...I want you to leave' I blanked her completely instead looking around the house and smiling inwardly

'its a nice little place you've got here in my house when eric and i lived here it was a shithole...Im not going anywhere' I confirmed ' this is Eric's house and im eric's progeny which gives me the rightful dee to it' I said feeling my stomach chrun and growning at the harsh stretch it caused my body, it took me a second to release that what i was feeling was nausea

'PAM!' sookie screamed 'if you dont leave...' She began but i cut her off (pft empty threats pathetic) i rolled my eyes then promted up releasing my grip from her when i felt her pulse slowing

'You'll what use your light...I said sarcastically 'you'll be dead before you can do whatever freaky thing it is you do when your conguring up "the sun"'

'you wont kill me' Sookie said smartly god this bitch thought she was gods gift

'Hm i dont know sookie the amount of Eric's lovers ive killed, and you believe that theres a hell... im already pretty much going there right?' I said stepping closer

'Pam' Sookie said quickly...'stop'

' he'll make you promises you know? make you think his going to come back and he doesnt he just fucking ups and leaves you when ever and l- I cut off abruptly faltering backwards and holding my chest-I was gonna be sick-

'Oh shit' I said flatly, and with that i took off towards the kitchen once again and leaned over the sink...I dry heaved a few times before the messiness actually made an apearence and when it did i hiccuped at swallowed trying to stop it but hell spurted back up again

'god' i rasped grabbing my hair and holding it out of the sink I could feel Sookie staring at me and I sighed in needless heavy breaths pulling my head up when i was sure i wasnt gonna throw up anymore,

'get out...- I breathed- Get out'I said (why was I still throwing up hadnt i been past this stage in pregnancy?)

sookie continued to stare at me 'whats wrong with you?' she quizzed staring at me i ignored her question my eyes watching her...

' you love Eric sookie...right but you love bill too...but please please do me a favour choose Eric your welcome to him.. i want him out of my life...for good' I said barging past her and stalking towards the door

'do it sookie do it Pick Eric and then youll see how much he'll hurt you' I said before opening the front door a second time and with that i left stalking back towards my car

* * *

'tears flew free from my eye's and this time broke down, i screamed thumping a dent in the lid of the car and then broke dowm sobbing

'Fuck. god shit' I cursed pulling my hair in fustration I felt a drop of water fall from the sky...great now it was raining...it never rained in bon temps I looked up at the stary sky my mind wondering to how i had ended up in this position,

* * *

 _three proir to the date of conception Five mnths ago_

 _I sat at Erics desk loud music blasting through my skull as it took over the room...I did not regret what I had "nearly" done to sookie infact I was pleased with what I had done the li ttle bitch had had it coming did she honestly think i would let my maker die for her...a pathetic meaningless human_

 _'Pam!' I heard Eric's voice tearing through the bar, I turned the music up louder in an effort to drown him out and sat back in the chair closing my eyes relaxing that well that was until i saw the door pratically fly at me i sat up shocked but i didnt let that show instead i continued to play my music cranking it louder and louder i focused on my black hoodie inspecting it and picking a spec of dried blood of it, to which i then picked up my wine glass which was full of b negative the only flavour i could bare._

 _I could see Eric mouthing something but i couldnt make it out over the music I coily stared up at him 'Im sorry what?' I said sarcastically_

 _'I told you to leave' Eric growled at me I pressed my lips into a thin line nodding as i did and I looked away then beginning to sing the words out loud drumming my fingers against the desk to the beat,_

 _within the space of a mini second Eric had picked up the stereo and thrown it just above my head it shattered against the wall to its destruction its remains scattering all over me I shifted my eyes up towards Eric taken aback and then swallowed hard in a mixture of fear and anger I sat up in my seat and then stood to my feet...he was going to hit me...I could feel it_

 _'I was listening to that' I stated opening the draw and retreiving my Pink phone and matching headphones I could see this only fucked him off more and in a blur he was infront of me pining me to the floor against my throat i yelled my fangs shooting free my hands flying up to defend myself he grabbed both my arms pinning them down beside my head_

 _'DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH PAMELA' he roared into my face hs grip on my wrists getting tighter as i struggled beneath his weight i managed to shake a wrist freee while he was destracted and dug my nail into his arm and pulled down leaving a sickening scratch, ignoring this Eric grabbed my hair banging my head against the hard floor, I whimpered and gasped in shock and pain._

 _'get off me'I shouted at the top of my lungs sending a loud echo thumping off of the bar walls_

 _'YOU COULD HAVE KILLED HER...THE LOVE OF MY LIFE! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!' he yelled using his other hand to grip my hair forcing me to to look at him_

 _'your alive isn't that worth it?' I retaliated back giving up the fight_

 _'For Sookie's life? are you saying you wanted her dead?!' he shouted making his grip impossibly tight I let out a small groan of pain but soon stilled my expression becoming serious_

 _'Your alive!' I half yelled half contradicted that set him off he glared at me releasing his hold on my wristes turning his back on me i could feel the anger within him was still boiling at a high point i wouldnt need a bond to know that I could read him like a book,_

 _I would rather Sookie be alive... if my death meant she'd be safe from any harm then- I cut him off_

 _'I was not gonna let you die for a human you've put me in this Position before and it isn't fair theres no way... Eric ask me to do anything else but that!' ;I shouted then using the desk to heave myself up, caught myself then calmed down 'Look I am not prepared to lose you not after one hundred years together you expected me to stand back and watch you die like a fucking broadway show! I couldnt lose you i wont lose you please Eric i couldnt bare it'_

 _'And you nearly allowed me to lose sookie like that, after Sylvie you were willing to put me through that again this time it would be at your hand... you cost me the love of my life once and you were prepared to do it again!'_

 _'I thought i was the love of your life you told me that!' I cried pointing at him and losing my calm composure he ignored me stepping over the broken door and exitting the way he had come in_

 _'Were not finished here!- I yelled running after him and breaking a heel- because this is not just about me trying to kill Sookie this is about godric as well...you welcomed death not only because it kept sookie safe but because you wanted to be with godric again'_

 _he froze at my words because yes that had been part of the reason, the fact that I had pulled that card on him clearly enraged him further and i could feel that he wanted me out...Now! he could hardly stand the sight of me but I continued rounding in front of him_

 _'come on Eric you must see it...getting angry at me all the time?' I stared into his eyes a little to much for my liking. 'barely coming home? being reckless short fused?...'WEAK' in so many ways look eric i get that your upset about what i nearly did to sookie but I also get that your upset about godric, do you think he would be happy seeing you like this, seeing you pick a human over your own blood someone you've been with for over one hundred years,' He hesitated and I jumped_

 _' DO YOU?!'_

 _and then I saw something change in him...something in his eyes it was like watching a t.v flick into a tempory colour screen like you see on a television when it goes into a static on television mode,_

 _and then out of no where his fist came at me hard and fast, a force so strong it sent me flying into the nearby wall and I think it temporarily broke my nose._

 _I heaved myself off of the floor Looking at him with shock and betrayl but then he jumped ontop of me vamp speed, 'eric stop stop' I screamed my arms moving to get him of me stop him_

 _he continued to hit me and beat on me and my screams soon turned it cries 'Eric stop it' i sobbed pleading with him..._

* * *

 _eric pov_

 _I jumped on top of her, throwing punch after punch, I paused and saw Pam mouthing something but it was just a smear of words, rage pulsed through my empty veins and all i could hear was my own vicious heart beating in my ears. Pam's mouth remained open, uttering a long syllable of words, but i kept punching, of course we had, had physical fights before but never like this...never ever like this we would usually just end up fucking. but this was different way different, i continued punching excepting that whatever words were coming out of Pam's mouth were insults towards Sookie, I felt something warm and wet on my hands and paused frowning at my fist._

 _blood trickled down my knuckles but it was not mine, I looked back towards Pam my brain suddenly rebooting. I could hear and see sense now, and stared down towards her._

 _The long syllable I had been hearing Pamela saying was her shouting at me begging me to stop- a pain filled scream almost. I felt nauseous as soon as I heard Pam crying and saw the damage I had inflicted suddenly my anger turned to remorse making me temporarily forget about the fact she had tried to kill Sookie and then brung godric up._

 _'P-Pam?' my heart stopped beating for a second before getting up from on top of her 'Pam...Im sorry are you okay?' Pam drew in an unneeded breath and nodded quickly i knew it was fake,_

* * *

 _Pam pov:_

 _'im sorry- i didnt- he trailed off red tears rimming his eye's my heart broke at the sight of his tears and i shook my head getting up then edged closer towards him,_

 _'Its okay i forgive you I forgive you' I rushed my arms wrapping around his neck_

 _'there is nothing you can do...that will scare me away do you understand me?' I said shaking him slightlly 'because i love you Eric'' ...'i love you i repeated 'so please dont push me away' I begged my voice braking down again and i burst out sobbing bowing my head my arms still around his neck, I didn't even know how i was tolerating the sight of him, he had quite literally just beaten the living crap out of me. I was broken from my thoughts by Eric's rough hand raising my chin so I could meet his icy gaze. His eyes held something I didn't recognise, it was almost like a long and then His lips crashed to mine in a heated frenzy. i didnt think just responded the kiss was desperate and...grief stricken, I relished in the intimate contact I hadnt had with him for over twenty five years grabbing the top of his leather jacket I pushed it off of his shoulders and then you know what happened next- ("i was an idiot")  
_

HONK

i was startled from my thoughts when i saw bright whites head lights glaring at me making causing me to stand defensivly to my feet my hand flying to cradle my almost visbly pregnant belly,

'Pam' I heard a familiar voice...Oh forfucksake it was sookie she had somehow managed to sneak her way into her shitty little car, I bit my lip in anger,

'stay away from me' I blurted out backing up towards my car until my body hit the metal this was a set up i could feel it.

'Pam please' sookie said 'i havent rung Eric' getting out of the car ' you don't have to run' Sookie stated I was silent for a long while before answering...

'Yes I do' I said spinning around and then running into the dark inky woods forget the car Eric would track it i had to get out of here had to running was the only way so i RAN...ran as fast as my child baring body would take me...

 **sorry for the delay guys ive had alot of exams and revision nxt chapter will b posted as soon as i can please review, comment and follow have a enjoy the rest of your evening folks xxxxxx**


	18. Chapter 18

it had been five minuets and i had already stopped running i was already tired probably due to my pregnancy so i began walking pulling down a branch infront of me and stepping over it, i was soaked and it was pouring down with rain...rain that was weird...it never rained in bon temps NEVER so what was this? was it bill had he done something i didnt know and i didnt really want to, I felt my neck throb and lifted my hand up to inspect it feeling an open wound...pulling my arm back i stared at my blood covered hand...how was i still bleeding vampires never bled something was wrong with me i should have been healin and and-

SNAP i looked around and then beind me my vision shifting around no one there probably a werepanther nothing i couldnt handle I blinked and turned my vision to face the front again blinking back the rain and this time I saw something there was a man not a werewolf...not a werepanther not even a vampire, No this was...I didnt know, this was weird but this man...somehow felt...seemed familiar?

'Hello?' i asked looking right at him 'have we met before?' i moved closer to him trying to get a clearer angle. but when i blinked...

...he was gone.

'hey?' I yelled it this time

'hey' i shouted again not sure what else to say, i felt my mouth dry up and my palms somehow went sweaty despite my being a vampire, I took Taras phone out of my pocket about to phone Eric but then remember our situation, and sighed placing it back into my pocket. something was off about this place...Yet i couldnt quite put my finger on it

and then the cell phone began ringing I took it out again there was no caller ID i didnt heisitate to answer the number

' **hello?'** i answered quickly

'Pam? I heard Sookies familiar voice from down the line 'Pam where the hell are you come back it's pouring with rain'

 **'there's somebody here'** i cut over her

'Pam nobody's there just comeback'

 **'there is !'** i yelled

'Pam theres nobody' sookie said sharply ' I gritted my teeth then hung up the phone glancing backwards, this place had a very. very edgy feel to it.

i walked forward giving up thinking my mind was infact playing tricks but then i saw the face of the man again this time he was further away in the woods how could he had gotten that far? he was standing under the weaping willow.( i knew where i was) i had a split second impression of something that couldnt be right something that i couldnt even begin to process before the face came into focus, and then i blinked again the rain running through my eyelashes and he was gone (what the hell?) i blinked again thinking , maybe i was tired i hadnt slept in while and walked further into the woods further towards the weeping willow , the phone rang again and I picked it up

' **Sookie i dont want to-**

'Pam it's tara came the voice of my progeny...where are you?'

' **somewhere far away hopefully'** i replied stepping over the branch

'Pam i just got a phone call from jessica she said it's not safe out there...you gotta come back now' i looked around the woods feeling wrong just all wrong

'i saw someone' i blurted out again hoping that no knowing that tara would believe me there was silence on the other line for a few seconds before tara answered

'How'd he look can you describe him?' she quizzed i swallowed thickly as i sturggled to remember, average, average, average he just wasnt memorable

 **' average height, he had redish brown hair fair skin...i think maybe brown eyes'**

'average height, redish brown hair fair skin...and maybe brown eyes' tara repeated to someone in the background i heard a voice in the background a male voice which sounded like...i didnt know defently not eric though

'what was he wearing?' Tara quizzed

and that i realised was a complete blank. clothes obviously but i couldnt remember a colour of shirt or pants or patterns. nothing.

' i dont know i confessed' this was get ridiculous... i heard another branch break looked around and then i saw him again waching me i paused and stared back he stepped out of sight,

 _n_ ot _again_

I bailed and took of running i could hear tara yelling down the line but that was the least of my worries,

'I'll call you back' I yelled hanging up and then vamp speed clicking the camera app on taras phone, i didnt mean to follow him i just wanted to get close enough to snap his picture. then i could prove what i was talking about.

photo evidence

i didnt slow down this time i couldnt i'd seen how fast this-this thing could move i no longer thought of this thing as a man, i realised; there was something fundamentally wrong about it. it wasnt a vampire, at least i didnt think it was. it was something else

maybe something...worse?

i ran through a branch rounding on the willow tree where he had been stood, my eyes wide because i was met with nothing but empty woods...empty space... he had disapeared again ) _oh come on )n_ ow i was freaking out what was he...what was i up against i didnt understand this time i rang tara back dialing the digits in under ten seconds,

' **Tara something is really really wrong here!'** i yelled down the phone blinking through the rain and trying desperatly to find him,

'Pam get out of there Tara shouted down the other line of the phone and then a bright light hit me, I shielded my eyes stumbling backwards but did not fall down,

'Pam what was that?' Tara quizzed down the line i did not answer just simply watched because now there was stuff happening i saw two people appear this time one of them was the stranger i had seen earlier i looked over just in time to see the stranger bend over and yank up a...drainage grate? in the middle or the woods?

which tipped up in a rusty metalic groan the other person...(vampire) didnt pause he walked right into the open hole and just dropped. disapeared. i expected the stranger to go with him, but instead he let the drainage grate slam shut, stood on it and...

and then he turned and looked at me. his skin was grey and it looked...dead-not pale,like vampires. but a slick, decaying shade like something rotting in the shadows. his eyes werent eyes. his mouth, as it opened wasnt a mouth. I didnt know what it was, my brain refused to put it into a pattern.

and then the creature melted, and flowed in a rush of liquid down the drain.

I gasped, eyes wide and felt sick, really sick. I didnt even know why; it was wrong, sure, but not nearly as wrong as many things id seen in my long hundred years. something inside me was screaming, as if id seen something entirely different from what i'd thought i'd seen.

Taras tiny voice was coming out of the phone, I raised it back to my ear moving slowly. i still wasnt sure if i needed to sit down or not . nothing seemed right now. nothing, i squeezed my eyes shut and could almost. almost see...

see what?

' Im okay' I whispered 'im-'

I felt the world tilt and go dim and with a distant feeling of suprise, i realised that i was going to fall down.

it didnt hurt at all.

 **soz for the delay guys it took ages as i had major writers block and you get it anywho nxt chapter will b posted asap please review and comment xx**


	19. Chapter 19

tara

'Pam...Pam.'I yelled down the line my brows furrowing something was wrong really wrong, i hung up the phone then turned to sookie,

'what do we do' i demanded 'somethings wrong i heard something happen to her on the other line what do we do sookie'

'Im thinking' the faeire yelled turning her back on me and biting her nails,

i waited impatiently and then stalked towards the door she was taking to much time to think and anything could happen to her anything and she was not in the right condition or frame of mind to defend herself,

'Tara wait' sookie shouted i didnt listen just kept moving

'TARA' sookie said sternly grabbing my shoulder i spun around to face her angily

'Pams out there alone and your telling me to wait?!' I yelled at her '

'i know but tara its dangerous outside...your my bestfriend and i dont want to loose you I dont know what i'd do without tara we grew up together and i dont know how i'll cope if i loose you' she blurted desperatly

'she's my maker...- I gritted out- you will never understand' I said mirroring jessica and staring her dead in the eye, Sookie eyed me and then sighed stepping aside and letting me out into the rain, I walked down the stairs briefly looking at Pam's car and then followed the way i guess she'd gone into the woods.

A few mins later'

I had been walking for a few minuetplace and still no sign of Pam, it was pouring and the rain made my clothes cling to my body i blinked through it holding onto my jacket and then looked further into the woods catching sight of blonde hair i slowed down and then ran towards her knowing it was pam,

'Pam' I yelled quickly as i ran towards her it was pouring down and her hair was soaked

'Pam' i shouted again getting my phone out to ring eric he didnt pick up

'oh my god' I bleated taking my jacket and placing it over her

* * *

I woke up with my head cradled in Tara's lap, my progeny was talking to me however I couldn't quite process what she was saying and as soon as my eyes opened she cried out in relief

'Oh thankgod' she said 'you scared the living shits outta me! What happened? Did someone attack you?' She rushed me with questions touching the open wound on my neck i frowned batting her hand away and sat up slightly holding my still bleeding neck

'No' I felt deeply weird as if my brain was working at a one quartered speed.

'I fell' but why? 'I tripped.' That made more sense than anything else. I'd seen...something I just couldn't imagen what it was, because my brain refused to even try.

Grey. Something grey.

Tara was pulling me carefully to my feet. 'Enough of the detective shit. I'm taking you back home whether you like it or not'

No...no I'm not going there I said shaking my head'

'I'm not taking no for an answer pam its my turn to look after you, now when we get back to sookies you going to get in the car we pico some things up from fangtasia and then we leave...okay?'

Tara looked really scared. I thought I should be if not scared then worried as well I had never been a wimp but that didn't mean I wasn't causious. But something in me had just... switched off. Burnt out.

 _i felt so wrong_

We stalked through the woods and I eyed the dark elements on nature carefully looking out for anything...that something augh I didn't know.

'Pam when we spoke on the phone you told me you'd seen something someone, can you remember what you saw? She quizzed interupting my thoughts,

I turned my head towards her as we walked further though the woods, I was weary and hot? but At least the rain was letting up... and god it was so hot why was I so hot why blinked at Tara,

'It was nothing' I said sharply plastering on a fake smile 'I was just seeing things' I reassured her

'Well Pam' she laughed slightly 'that worries me more' I shook my head blinking when I saw the lights to Sookie's house, wait what had I fallen slept walked or something how had we got here so fast.

I turned and looked at Tara confused 'how'd we get here so fast?' I quired

'You werent that far away from the house in the first place' she said eyeing me worried, I looked away and swallowed thickly.

Just get me away from here I snapped grabbing hold of my soaked shirt, Tara looked back at me before vamping up the stairs to sookies house, i shifted uncomfortably feeling distrubed what had i just seen? in the woods it just it didnt make sense i couldnt even clearly remember what i had seen and thats what scared me even more, I bit my lip watching sookie come out of the house with my progeny.

'Pam come in side' Sookie said

 **guys im sorry for such a short chapter but i had to update i have alot of revision at the moment as i am soon to be sitting my gcses but i swear i will update as soon as i can please review love u all xxx**


	20. Chapter 20

_4 mnths ago..._

 _I was sitting on his couch, in his home, waiting for him to come from Dallas. The sun had already risen, the blood from the bleeds mixing with my tears. I refused to die for the day, but even if I'd wanted to, I wouldn't be able. Not with the excruciating pain ripping through me. That evening I'd felt a kaleidoscope of emotions that had left me confused and worried. They were emotions that were so unfamiliar to my maker, emotions I had never felt coming from him in my whole life. There was irritation and anger all the night, but I didn't pay attention to that until the bond exploded with a sharp pang of shock, quickly followed by disbelief and helplessness. I knew Eric was in Dallas, so I figured out the emotions had to do something with Godric, but I didn't know what exactly was happening. Not until I felt a sharp pain, the intensity of it making Me fall to my knees. The pain was both physical and emotional, the close bond with Eric allowing me to feel, in the literal sense of the word, the physical pain he felt at the death of his maker. It was like liquid fire sipping through my veins, and was fuelled by Eric's immense emotional pain, it was almost too much to bear. I wondered what was it like for him, when everything I felt was just a small hint of the intensity of his feelings._

 _And so there I was sitting there, waiting for the night to come so that he would come back to Shreveport, bloody tears running down my cheeks against my will. The physical pain had subsided, but the mental one was still there, just as sharp as before. I knew he needed comfort, and I briefly considered sending him waves of calmness through the bond, but I dismissed the thought quickly. I knew he would not approve, no matter how much he needed it. In his mind, needing comfort meant being weak, and if I was the one who always shared my emotions with him, positive and negative, taking relief in him comforting me, he was quite the opposite. He never told me about the hurt, the pain, the anger he felt. He was strong. And the burden was his alone._

 _I really had no other choice than to wait._

 _And when he came? What would I do? What would I say, to make him feel better? What did someone do in this case? Do I embrace him, let him cry on my shoulder? That would have been good. For a human. But not for my maker. Do I tell him I'm sorry? No. What good will that be? He already knows I'm sorry. He feels it. He feels my pain – my own pain – at the thought of him suffering that way. He feels my compassion. My worry. So what do I…_

 _My thoughts died the moment I felt him getting closer, and when I lifted my head, and saw him standing in the doorway. His face and clothes were stained with blood, his lips set in a tight line, his body tensed. But that is not what I looked at. His eyes. They were darker than usually, and cold, the cruelty in his gaze almost frightening me before I remember his anger is not directed at me, but at Godric. At himself, maybe._

 _I stood up slowly, afraid to move in his presence, and made a few steps towards him, until I was stood right in front of him, and through it our gazes never wavered. Just as slowly, I lifted one hand and reached for him, touching my fingertips to his cheek as gently as I could. Somehow, I knew words were unnecessary, and I did what my heart told me to do, in the hope of making him feel better. But, whatever I expected his reaction to be, it was nothing like this. He moved at vampire speed, slamming me against the wall…Hard, one of his hands securing my wrists together above my head, while the other tangled myself in my hair. He pulled on it, hard, yanking my head back, and before I knew what he was doing, he sank his fangs into my throat, drinking deeply. Even if this was supposed to be pleasurable, right now I was feeling a lot more pain than pleasure. His bite wasn't by all means gentle, neither was his drinking me. But I knew the insignificant pain I was feeling now was nothing compared to the burning ache he was feeling at the loss of his maker. His father. His brother. His son. The one whom he watched dying, unable to do something… anything to stop it. I knew he needed this. He needed to get off his pain by submitting to his primal self. He needed to be in control again. To dominate. He needed this, and I was more than happy to allow it._

 _In less than a second he tore off my clothes and I cried out as I felt him enter me to the hilt in one forceful thrust, without any warning. He threw his head back and growled at the feeling, then began to move inside and out of me, setting a punishing pace. I wasn't quite ready for his intrusion, and I bit my lip to keep from crying out from the pain I felt at his hard thrusts. His free hand went to my breast, massaging it roughly, and I gasped as he pinched my nipple. Nothing he did right now was gentle or affectionate. It was rough. Hard. Primal. Animalistic. It wasn't him who was doing this. Not all of him. He chose to forget himself, even if only for a short moment, allowing his primal instincts to take control of him. He chose to forget all the unbearable pain, to lose himself in the moment. because he knew there was no one else who would understand this need of his. Only me._

 _I moaned as his hand cupped my other breast, beginning to enjoy his actions. His thrusting and his hands roaming over my body had caused wetness to pool between my legs, and the pain his movements had caused at the beginning turned now to pleasure. I moaned again loudly probably loud enough for the hole of bon temps to me, mesmerized by how good he felt inside me, and tried to remember the last time we were intimate. Realizing it was more than five decades since he'd been inside me, I threw my head back and groaned as I fell over the edge, my walls fluttering around him. His thrusts got even more frantic as he leaned to my breast, sinking his fangs into it, and after two more seconds he growled like an animal, spilling himself inside me._

 _I closed my eyes, fighting the urge to bite him, knowing it was not allowed right now. This was him laying his claim on me. Proving his domination. And I fully submitted._

 _He gave me no time to recover as he spun me around, entering me from behind, his cock still hard, his pace still mind-blowingly quick, his growls and grunts not abating._

 _"You will never leave me!" – he said, his voice raised, the pain in it obvious. He wanted to prove me, but more to himself, that if Godric was not under his control, then I was. And I'd will never go without his consent. He will not allow it._

 _"I won't!" – I said between moans._

 _"You are fucking MINE!" – he accentuated his words with an especially hard thrust that had me crying. – "Say it!" – his palm landed on my ass and I cried again. He wasn't spanking me the way he did when we were playing in the past, he was only teasing me then. Now, however, he was actually using his force, and it hurt. – "SAY IT!" – one more slap landed on my backside, even harder this time, and I felt tears well up in her eyes, but she pushed them back._

 _"I'm yours!" – I cried, both from the pain I still felt from his slaps and from the pleasure. – "I will always be yours. Only yours." I moaned as the vermilion tears uncontrollably ran down my cheeks_

 _He roared possessively at my words, driving into me over and over again, never ceasing the rhythm he created. He felt himself nearing his release and he slapped me again, the predator inside him relishing the pain and the fear he was delivering. He roared again as he came hard, his climax inducing my own, I cried out loud in ecstasy screaming and groaning as I fell over the edge again, my knees nearly bucking from the intense pleasure I experiencing I was shaking all over._

 _But he was not even nearly done with me._

 _It was only hours after that they were laying on the floor, him on his back, looking to the ceiling, me resting my head on his shoulder, his arm around my waist. Both of us were on our own train of thought and there were no words, only silence. Eric was tracing his fingertips along my curve absent-mindedly and i flinched when I felt his fingers on a bruise he had given me earlier one that had not yet healed up but as the reality began to sink in, he broke the silence._

 _"Did I hurt you?" – he asked not looking at me, his eyes still glued to the ceiling. His voice shook me out of my reverie, and I shifted a little so I could look into his eyes._

 _"Don't be ridiculous!" – I lied – "Of course you didn't."_

 _"But I_ ** _felt_** _it." – he replied, his voice void of any emotion. – "I was feeling your pain, and I was_ ** _reveling_** _in it."_

 _"Eric." – I interrupted. When he turned his head to look at me and I knew he was listening to me, I continued. – "It's nothing." – my tone was assuring and determinate and I saw him nod after a brief hesitation. There was nothing he could do to change what had done, anyway, and, besides that, it had really helped. I felt through the bond that his pain had eased a little, and I debated whether to ask him about Godric's death or not. I wanted to know what had happened, and it was the best chance to ask, so that I won't have to remind him about it later. Yet, his memory of it was no doubt still fresh, and I didn't want to press him on the subject._

 _"He met the sun." – Eric said in a flat tone, feeling my internal debate and my need to know what had happened. – "Willingly."_

 _My eyes widened a little from the shock I felt. I opened my mouth to answer, but I couldn't think of any words that would seem appropriate. After a few minutes of silence, I finally whispered_

 _"I'm sorry, Eric."_

 _His hands tightened around me, before he yanked me up and made me look at him, his fingers fixing on my jaw._

 _"Listen to me." – he said, looking right into my eyes, his voice so full of determination it nearly frightened me._

 _– "I will never leave you like that." – I began to shake her head, not wanting to hear anything about him leaving me, but he forced my gaze back. –_

 _"No, listen. Look at me." – when I did he continued. –_

 _"If I will ever… leave… I promise you it will be because someone killed me. Or because there was no escape out of the situation, or… whatever else. – he saw tears well up in my eyes, and he knew it was painful for me to listen this, but he continued. – "But I will never leave you willingly. Never. This I promise you." – a single tear escaped my eye, pouring down her cheek, and he leaned forward, licking it gently._

 _"Don't you_ ** _dare_** _leave me!" – I whispered. Don't you **ever** do to me what Godric did to you' I said placing a firm kiss on his lips and then another one as I climbed on top of him the kiss becoming deep and more intimate. Right round ten then._

* * *

presnt day:

I sat on sookie's couch holding the small bump known as my stomach as the memory washed over me, well he had left me hadn't he despite everything he had said he had accused me of harming sookie on purpose and now he had shacked up with some brunette who claimed to be his sister damn it this was a mess.

I listened to Sookie and Tara talking in the kitchen about Bill and what the plan was to take him out was (not that i gave a shit or wanted any involment in the " assasination of Bill/ Billith compton") for about forty minuets while stairing at the flickering candle on the mantel piece but my thoughts and flashbacks were soon wiped from my mind when i heard the familiar heavy accented voice of my progeny,

'right Pam, we set to go?' Tara quizzed strutting back confidently into the living room, I stood up instantly still resting my hand on my stomach all the while gripping the soaking clothing Tara stared at bump, then my neck that was still bleeding I might add and then towards the door when she heard Sookie's voice floating down the hallway.

'Right well I'll be seeing you tommorow Tara' The faerie announced watching my progany with shattered eyes, Sookie stared for a little bit and i watched on confused what was going on?it was then I realised the faerie was gawking her ugly gaptooth at me I cast my vision down at the floor trying to avoid her staring gaze as it fixed on me further making me feel like some sorta animal that had come out of extinction the faerie cocked her head to the side her eyes wondering over my body, she stopped a moment holding back what she had been about to say before changing her mind and saying it anyway.

'there is...-theres something, theres something different about you' she accused squinting her chocolate eyes,I felt my arms wind around my body defensively protecting it from her daggers. my eyes fluttered towards Tara giving her that get rid of her look and Tara stepped in between us.

'we really should get going' she countered glancing backwards once towards me and catching my eye.

Sookie moved around her her gaze never wavering making me feel naked,

'don't you?- Sookie began but Tara cut over her

'Its nothing' Tara cracked out sternly taking hold of gashes arm in a hard grip Sookie fish eyed tara in shock. her mouth hanging slightly agape. Tara squeezed slightly giving her " that warning look" then let go.

'Ok' sookie muttered out holding her hands up in surrender then stepping aside. I glared at the fae giving the room a once over before flying from the living room vamp speed; out back into the pouring rain, Tara wasnt far behind me, i trudged through the downpour towards Tara's black convertable and got in the passenger seat not bothering with my seat belt. the door was still open. And Tara bent down putting her head inside the dark vehicle.

'Gimme a minuet...dont move'. She informed gentally, she looked scared. really scared. I thought I should be scared, too, but something in me had just... switched off. burnt out.

 _I felt so wrong_

Tara shut my door locking me in.( not that, that would help )bent down and mouthed don't move before she dashed back into sookies house to retrieve my bag and im guessing feed sookie some shitty apology or finish up more on the bill or even Eric and nora talk, Jesus Tara had a lot to learn vampires NEVER apologise to humans...Like ever. I leant against the cold window glass and dialled my phone. rolling my eye's 'Erics' number. what if He didnt answer? I needed someone to talk to someone who would believe me about... what i had seen, what I knew and I didnt want to worry Tara; i barely knew Nora. I felt considering i was a vampire oldly short of breath,as if i was drowning on dry land or suffercating I couldnt quite put my finger on it.

'please' i whispered. it was a known fact Eric and I were not on the best terms infact I hated him at the moment but none of that mattered now. none of it mattered at all.

'please answer me.-I whispered desperatly to the dial tone- i need you'...

'Pam?' that wasnt erics voice No it was, it was a females...Nora i thought angerily she was the last person I wanted to see let alone talk to. 'Pamela?...-I was silent for a moment- Pamela it's Nora whats wrong?'

'Are you okay?'

'No' I hissed Looking through the window towards the dark woods 'No im not I...I saw something'

'you don't sound good. what is it what was it rather?

'I I dont know' i was tired now. so tired. 'I saw something that should'nt be.'

'you mean shouldn't be here?' her british accent vibrated down the line.

'shouldnt be at all.' I struggled to make sense of things. the night looked so grey and misty. rain. the rain continued to chuck it down. I could see the bright light of the stackhouse estate and could see tara and sookie talking in the living room Tara settled her empty bottle of blood onto the tea table, but none of it had real meaning. that part of me was gone. burnt.

'Look nora tell eric. tell eric there is something really wrong I think Bill is-'

'Is what? Pam? Where are you- are you with Tara, are you alone?' I frowned this was odd Nora was concerned, that made me smile. a little even though i hated her. because that was just wrong too. It was then the drivers door popped open and i quickly hang up the phone stuffing it down my bra. Tara jumped in and slammed the door behind her. she was drenched and shivering slightly.

'Damn that was freezing!' she turned the key; got the convertable started then looked over at me. ' you ok?'

I smiled and made a little okay symbol with my fingers before muttering 'Peachy' even though i knew I wasn't, but Tara couldnt help. Noo one could. not nora and not even Eric.

the rain hissed and roared, and Tara drove slowly through the downpour. around us, bon temps had turned into an alien world. none of the landmarks looked right. The streets were rushing rivers. what lights showed ( the compton estate) were thin and watery. smeared all out of recognition. But after that,

I didnt pay much attenition to the journey in actual fact I think I may have fallen asleep for an hour( without any of the dreams) because when i opened my eyes we were at fangtasia, I blinked twice making sure my mind was not playing tricks and then shot tara a venomous look, Tara killed the engine and looked at me.

'Look you scoled me about taking you back here hell you can even fight with Eric all you want but at the end of the day that Baby is only going to bring you two closer' She declared, growling inwardly I got out of the car, and felt deeply...unsettled as soon as i hit the rain again I steadied myself holding onto the cars slipery hood and trying to get some small piece small feel of reality my hands slipped over the small puddles on the smooth metal. Tara glowered me, then shook what ever emotions she was feeling to the back of her mind.

'well...were gonna have to make a run for it if we wanna get out of the rain without getting more... well - she looked down at her clothes- wet...Can you do that in your condition? Tara yelled over the rain I nodded and she smiled dashing vamp speed into the bar and out of the rain felt distant now like i was floating?,but not weak and looked around the darkness blinking and not really...thinking if you know what i meant. there just didnt seem to be any urgency to anything right now. or any...emotion?. If i was told to run right now I'd run despite being in my third fourth or whatever trimester i was in, but it was just physical movement.

I winced feeling more rain hit me, it was breath takingly cold, lashing at me like whips of water, and i stood there, my face upturning to the downpour my eyes closed. It felt...soothing in a way like my body wasnt quite registering that it was raining even though i knew it was. i just felt relaxed calm something i hadnt felt in the longest while...

but then my eyes blazed open, and the images flashed across my brain in a vivid, incomprehensible flow, and I screamed. ( I screameedddd) I couldnt help it. whatever wall my brain had built between me and what i had seen earlier, had come down...and hard, the adrenlin flooded back into my body, kick starting my dead heart.

Tara had shut the door ; my scream had been lost in the roar of thunder overhead. and i shook in the freazing watery drops still screaming.

in the flash of lightning i caught sight of a grey shape standing next to fangtasia's door. it was a man and it wasnt.

Not at all. NOT AT ALL.

I ran for the entrence of our club vamp speed with maybe a little speed moving straight past the man creature or whatever the fuck it was.

Tara was behind the bar shaking off water, when i lunged through the door, slammed the door shut, and locked it with trembling hands. my teeth were chattering together from the chill and my fangs had desended in attack mode piercing my bottom gum. I sluiced water in sliver streams from my hair splashing the floor.

'god were both soaked' Tara chattered heading through the bar and over the stage towards the Ladies toilet

'I'll go get you a towel she shouted her voice disapearing as she went further into the club.

 _dont go  
_

i wanted to say. I managed to croak something out but Tara was already gone. I took the phone from its confined space in my bra about to open it but then my hands gave way and it dropped onto the floor, My vision became hazy by the second not even focusing on the phone before focusing towards the basement I gagged then staggered towards ground. it felt like the water was turning to ice on my skin and the cold was sinking deeper and deeper making me feel nauseated

 _i have to tell eric... I have to tell eric what i saw. what i know._

Tara's indistinct voice was now talking im guessed she had bumped into Nora or she was on the phone.

The bar seemed warm around me as if it were fighting to make me and well the baby feel better. Feel safer.

But we weren't safe. None of us were not by a long shot. SOMETHING WAS REALLY REALLY WRONG. I had to find out what it was...

I stumbled and turned towards the office my eye sight smearing into a fog the Grey man was standing right here. HE WAS HERE IN THE BAR!

'ERIC!' i screamed but No sound came out i spun slightly my legs moving clumsily across the dance floor,

And My body threatened to collapse again. I braced myself against the Bar. He was just. Staring at me with eyes that weren't eyes. I couldnt think of anything now except drowning, drowning alone.

I opened my mouth to scream for Eric but the creature stopped me moving so quickly it was unreal he was before me before i could blink placing his cold. wet finger on my lips.

'Shhh' he soothed his voice sounded like the rain outside. Water coming out of the faucets.

'Shh' its over now' he tilted his head to the side as if his neck had no bones. I felt sick.

'Curisous that you see me. I'm not ready to be seen. Why?'

'I don't know,' I wanted to cry, scream,run but none of that was possible now.

'Pam?... who are you talking to?' I heard my progenies voice from the bath room _help me_

'I don't know why I can see you' I swallowed then said 'who are you?' Because even now I couldn't let the questions go.

'What are you?'

'Pam? are you okay? '

That face. That wasn't a face and that smile it was the most horrible thing id ever seen in my one hundred years. infact it was worse than witnessing bill burst into a pool of his own blood.

'WHAT ARE YOU?!' i yelled finally finding my voice

'Pam are you okay?' I could hear taras footsteps coming down the hallway now.

'Warlow'he said, I swallowed hard...

'I'm the end.' and then he reached out wrapping those cold clamy hands around my neck and then... then he was gone I retched and heaved feeling water and the blood from my billith wound running down my neck I felt my world shift a little and held onto the bar again trying to catch my balance. It didn't work, I fell to the ground...again dragging glasses and empty bottles down with me, and then everything went star white, eventually sinking down to a misty black.

 **hope you guess love this chapter as much as i love writing fics for you guys to read I took some inspiration from another fic i read because i just loved that scene and it had to be done and i also took inspiration from one of my favorite books because i felt it was the perfect way to introduce warlow to you guys hope u spread ur love by telling ur friends about this fic reviewing following and favouriting this fic plus please please please review some ideas about next chapter as i am stuggling a bit with ideas. remember review some ideas and next chapter will be updated asap x**


	21. AUTHORS NOTE

**Authors note:**

Sorry for the wait guys I have shit load of revision to do I will be updating soon though but in the mean time please check out and review my friends new fic "I didn't know I was pregnant" if you enjoy fics were pam and eric get pregnant happy reading and don't for get to give her lots of lovely reviews xxx

This is the link: s/11807008/2/I-didn-t-know-i-was-pregnant


	22. Chapter 21

'No Eric Pam's really not herself tonight she's. . . almost

God spit it out Nora chimed in impatiently earning herself a sickening growl from Eric.

'Delusional I rushed. 'Almost delusional'

Nora snorted moving around the desk and then packing the vampire bible book or whatever the hell it was on top of it.

'Pam... delusional. . . that's about the most hilarious and ridiculous thing I've heard all-

'She's been going on about this man following her. . . she was sure it was happening I just about got her to come back here she was pretty shaken up.

That peaked Eric's interest,

'did she know who he was?' Eric queried frowning and I shook my head

' no but she kept insisting that he was wrong. . . it was all wrong and that everything was wrong' I quoted my maker fighting back a smirk despite how serious the situation was.

'Well it can't be that important if-

'and She's not healing' I butted in across the brunette trailer park ho piece of trash known as Nora 'I'm telling you some things really_, really wrong'

And as if on que.

 _ **smash**_

All attention turned to the door and I looked to Eric who looked to Nora and within seconds my body was throwing its self at the wood and hurling itself into the bar where I caught sight of my maker hand gripped tight around her neck in shock dragging down glasses as she lost her grip on the bar and her balance and almost fell to the floor.

'Pam!?' I rushed out in a jumble of words vamp speed moving towards her to cradle her fall.

 **Pam:**

'Pam?!' I heard Tara's voice groggy to my ears and my breathing sped up was this real what had just happened I couldn't remember all I could remember was a name its name, his name. . . it was. It was war-?

I felt Tara's hands grip my under arms interrupting me from my hazy confused thoughts before I could fall to the floor which would injure not just me but possibly the infant that grew inside me I fisted my hands in a pathetic attempt to stay in balanced control of myself and clung to her in a shaking mess.

At least the nausea had subsided for once enabling me to speak through shaky lips

'Hey. What's wrong Pam look at me what's the matter'

'I, I -I heaved- my mind scrambled for something anything

'Pam your still bleeding Tara said gently touching the bite wound on my neck from billith which was still open I might add (I hissed in discomfort) and then looking backwards towards Eric, Eric stepped forward in clear concern but I was genuinely to confused to notice,

'what happened?' she repeated her question again,

I was silent for a long moment my eyes squinting. Trying to break through the mental border my mind had put up.

' _I can't remember'_ I thought biting my lip.

'Pam!' Tara yelled shaking me and then came the flurry of flashbacks. The Grey dead looking man. My feelings, how wrong it felt, his wet tight grip on my neck his name…and I was about to pass out again but Tara slapped my face waking me up and holding my frame upright and tight. . . warlow I shook my head this time pressing my lips together not just to hold back the nausea that had come hurdling back, but to try and contain the scream I knew would burst out if I didn't. . .

'he followed us here Tara. To the bar, he came in here and he attacked me' my frame began to shake starting inside and then working its way to the surface like ripples to the surface of a pond my dead heart wasn't the only thing pounding, my head was beginning to hurt as well as I remembered more and more about the…the demon, and all I could feel was fear…scratch that terror Heart thumping, cold sweating, sick to my stomach, mind numbing terror.

'Who' Eric demanded protectively,

More snapshots

'W-I began fighting through the mental block in my brain- he was called- I put my hand to my forehead feeling woozy- warlow I burst in a jumble of words shutting my eyes the nausea shooting up my throat so fast I had to throw a hand over it before I puked my guts up. . . again

'Warlow?' Nora queried stepping forward. Warlow she repeated staring at me and then towards Eric

'That's impossible' she shook her brown hair staring to Eric and then frowning down at me. . . that's impossible' she repeated pointedly at me. I rolled my eyes.

' he is Lilith's progeny and plus-

I know what he said he told me that was his name' I cut in.

'How did he look- Nora shot questions at me-what was he like?'.

'I don't know- I can't remember'- I lied and I don't want to remember he warned me off him, he doesn't want to be tracked down or found do you not get that he'll fucking pop up again when his good and ready…look I-I could have died he had his hands wrapped around my neck I didn't really think to ask him any questions well I had but. That was kind of irrelevant right now because I could have been seriously hurt.

'and-and I don't want to remember' I repeated firmly standing shakily to my feet Tara stood up ready to help me in case I fell down again. 'was Marnie not fucked up enough for you Eric?... because she sure as hell was fucked up enough to scare me, - I looked to Nora this time- If you want to add fucking glitter to that Lilith's blood you guys are sniffing Nora that's fine but don't dump your wacky doo all over us- I said nodding towards Tara- we'd rather not step in it'

'Okay Pam' let's get you to bed' Tara snorted and I frowned staring at her with wet eyes,

'all your fucking missing now is needles your like fucking drug addicts the both of you…how fucking human'

'it's a hormone thing' Tara butted in when seeing Nora's flaring anger.

'No. No! Tara they need to hear this, …I don't want to help you with this fucked up shit. . . you two started this. You had to go and poke your noses into things you don't understand and now look where we fucking are' I said a cruel edge to my tone

'now I'm going to ground' I muttered looking towards Nora with a glare, 'and I swear to god Tara if you follow me in going to put a fucking stake in your leg. this doesn't change anything. I'm still going… if not tomorrow night then the night after that. If not the night after that then the night after that' I stated moving Past Eric stubbornly, (I caught sight of Nora staring at my enlarged front and scowled) he let me leave this time without a hitch and I walked down across the stage towards ground stopping at the door when I caught sight of a small pink object at the corner of my eye. frowning I turned and strained my body weight down bending at the knees to pick it up.

It was a petal from the bouquet alcide had brought me around a two days earlier, I swallowed hard standing up my eyes clouding red as my frame shook with emotion,

'Pam' I heard Tara's voice from behind me and stiffened gripping the pedal hard 'Are you alright?'

'I'm always' I muttered then quickly moved downstairs to the dark space of the cellar.

 **Eyyy guys decided to update don't know when next update will be but now my exams are over updates should be more frequent thanks everyone so much for waiting you know what to do with the reviews so review and follow lots of love to you guys**

 **Aaliyah-lisa**

 **xxx**


End file.
